Tag: Life

Drunk Thoughts: Accountability.

Your apology needs to be as big as the disrespect that you gave. We’re heading straight into it, no intro bullshit. Your apology needs to be as big as the disrespect that you gave. Whether it’s publicly or privately to that person, you need to stop and think about what you have caused, own your shit, learn from that shit, and take the lesson and grow from it. Be accountable for you actions.

I’m tired of seeing people trying to save their own face and image when they know they were 100% in the wrong or when they decide to make themselves as the victim instead because they just can’t own up that they were actually the villain that time. You need to apologize because your actions not only affected yourself, but to whoever was involved and who you did it too. Like I said, publicly and privately, you own it to those people or person. If everyone just owned up, was accountable, and grew from their mistakes the world would really just be a better place.

If you felt even one ounce offended, then this is for you. I’m not perfect, I have my own tea that I’ve been working on and I can admit that. I’m learning and growing as much as I can through the years and applying it on how I can just be a decent human being. You can do it too.

For The Both Of Us.

If I had the opportunity to go back into time, I would go back to you and hug you for the both of us. Lord knows you were going to need it and I know I need it now. We’re the same person, but in such two different realities. I need it for the strength, for the encouragement, to appreciate how far I’ve come and because I miss that twinkle in my eye. You need it for the moment, for what’s to come, for who you are, and also for the strength. I wouldn’t go back and say sorry or try to change anything. Not because I think it was meant to happen, but because I don’t know any of the what if’s and I’d rather not try to think about it. It would be maddening either way and in every other different way anyways.

For the both of us, I would go back in time, enjoy that moment with you, remember what it was like and hug you. That hug would have been everything to you because that hug was what I needed and was looking for and felt like I never got. So I would go back in time to hug you for the both of us. The twinkle wasn’t based on truth, but love and I miss that. Sometimes they are hand in hands and other times they aren’t. Balancing them when they aren’t isn’t the easiest, but you got here. You got me here, I’m here.
“Without you I can’t be, you’re the universe to me. You’re the air in my lungs, you’re the fields where I run, you’re the sky where I’m floating.“

Seven Lions at Electric Forest 2019 | June 30, 2019 11:41 PM

What Fulfills You?

What fulfills you?
I think I’ve been avoiding this question for the past couple of years because I really don’t have a straight up answer or maybe I don’t really know what I want in life, maybe I wasn’t ready for the answer. I do admit, it’s hard to find the answer when you’re in your mid 20’s and you haven’t been able to fully experience life yet. So how can I come up with something? I’ve been kind of just floating through my life and having fun in whatever way I can. Maybe being that free is fulfilling to me, it works for me currently.

Like everyone else, I had to face some challenges and with the pandemic my daily lifestyle changed. We’ve all had to adjust in ways that completely flipped life as we know around. I was in a very unhappy and unsure spot in my life and I started to think more and more, what really fulfills me? What do I want out of life? What do I need for myself to feel like I’m living my best life? In the last couple of weeks, it’s all I can think about. I found myself stuck in yet another rut and as much as I want to blame it on the current moon cycle and astrology, it’s an all too familiar feeling. Let’s try connect the dots.

Sally, what fulfills you?

I’ve touched this topic a little bit within my therapy sessions, but there’s not enough time to get to an answer, so I did some searching on my own.
To have a fulfilling life is to be happy living in the present moment. To build a sense of fulfillment, you need to stop thinking about what “should be” and start being grateful for “what is.” It’s a process of failures and victories, not being focused on one specific moment. You can find your fulfillment in all aspect in life like self-improvement, meaningful relationships, health & wellness, and career development. The more you learn and grow within those aspects, the happier you’ll become and building those habits will lead you to joy.

So where do we even start? Where can we find our certain aspects and what do we prioritize to get there? I found a blog post written by Brent Gleeson that had a great list and I’ll put some of my favorites below:

  • Build relationships over possessions.
  • Take what you can from life, but always give back.
  • Be accountable for your words and actions.
  • Be disciplined in your personal and professional life.
  • Expunge hate from your heart.
  • Pursue passions bigger than yourself.
  • Don’t hold on too tight.
  • Strive to improve a little bit everyday.

Working on these everyday even if it is just a few every week, you’ll start to see and feel something good grow from you. It isn’t easy and there will be failure, but it’s all part of the process. Without the feeling of failure, we wouldn’t know how it feels to succeed.

I think my fulfillment is changing because I’m in a new environment and experiencing a new life experience, so it’s trying to adjust. I do have some idea of my own, but I’m still figuring out the rest. Who knows, maybe I’ll never really have my answer until I’m well into my 30’s. Maybe I’ll never really have an answer at all because it changes with you throughout your life. It doesn’t hurt to start thinking about it though.

So what fulfills you?

On My Own Time.

For the past few months, I’ve been able to kind of reset, start over and change how I’ve lived my life. Something I didn’t think was possible because I felt so stuck in a routine that didn’t allow me to have any time for myself. I quit my jobs and moved which allowed and forced me to find out what I would like for myself and what I don’t want to fall back into. It is 3 AM and I’m sitting at a breakfast bar inside my room eating a cheese, meat and carrot box, drinking kombucha and feeling pretty happy and content with life.

One thing I’ve learned and trying to incorporate more is doing things on my own time. Waiting until it feels right for me and not rushing into things. I’m not talking about chores, but life decisions. It may be a great opportunity, but if it feels too rushed then it’s okay to say no. When the time is right for you, then go ahead and revisit it. If it’s not available then it wasn’t meant to be. Finding your own timing with things can be a little difficult, but when it’s time you’ll know.

Don’t let anyone tear you down for not doing something right away because it’s what they want for you or because it’s what they expect from you. Some people will even try to use your own timing to make you look bad and make themselves better because you seem happier than them. They just want what you have, pure jealousy. Choose schooling when you feel ready and motivated, choose that job that you’re happy to work at instead of the one where you make tons of money, but you’re completely miserable. You know what’s right for you and only you can live for yourself.

I’m taking this time to not only enjoy my freedom and getting to know my new area, but to make sure I’m choosing me correctly. Making sure I have time to actually make the right decisions. From school, work, and my life outside from those I don’t want anything less than happy. I’ve been doing things on my own time and I couldn’t be happier about it.

SALLY ♡ T

Imagine.

Imagine waking up happy the moment you open your eyes all the way until you fall asleep. Imagine less roads traveled and more of that time spent surrounded by love and laughter instead of your radio and your solo concerts. Imagine less conversations through the phone and more in person. Imagine lonely days being less lonely, each day filled with loving stares, more hugs and more kisses. Imagine a world like that.

Big news though, I don’t have to imagine it anymore because I finally get to live like that. I moved to Wisconsin.
You read that right, I moved to Wisconsin.


All I have to say about it is: it feels right.

SALLY ♡ T

Drunk Thoughts: I’m Tired, Exhausted Really.

I’m tired. Tired of a lot of things. Tired of a lot. It gets pretty exhausting in this head of mine. To do this and then to do that, to make myself look put together when I feel like I’m not. I have to care for this, I have to look after that, I have to hide this, so I don’t step on that. It’s exhausting. It gets really tiring.

I feel like I take care of a lot and I do. I just wished I didn’t put myself in that position so often because when I need it, who’s going to take care of me? I’m too tired to take care of me sometimes. Who’s going to tell me that I’m going to be okay? I need someone too.

Who’s going to let me let it all out and just sit there to listen? I don’t need advice, I don’t need to be told anything, just someone who will just sit and listen without saying a word. It’s funny though, I have a lot of people that are willing to be this person for me, but I would never let them because I don’t want anyone or others to worry about me.

SOBER SALLY TIME
I actually wrote this back in August/September of 2020 and never posted it because there were so many other Drunk Thoughts post that I was writing at the time. As you can see I was not in the best headspace. Pandemic and my own life was really hitting me hard. I’ve been going back and forth with myself with my decision to post this or not because it’s such a personal and vulnerable feeling to me, BUT that’s what I created and intended this blog to be. A safe place that I created, where I can share that side or those thoughts. I can also share that I do not feel this as intense anymore, which makes it easier for me to share. I have been working on the healing that I’ve been needing, I’ve been working on positive healing and actually accepting and letting it in. I have made peace with things and is still working on looking for the peace in others.

I share this because I know there are others who feel this way and honestly sometimes I go back to feeling this way. It’s not something that you can beat and it goes away forever. You have to actually make your peace and teach your brain not to go there and that’s hard. YOU WILL HAVE BETTER DAYS. I promise you that you will. Find your footing first, then learn how to walk. Remember to take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. There is no other you.

SALLY ♡ T

Drunk Thoughts: Hungover

I’m actually hungover as I post this, but when I was drunk last night I wrote this and honestly it’s one of my favorite things that I’ve written. Not because it’s cute, but because most of my drunk thoughts are never about me being happy. I’m sure you’ve read some of them, this is very different from all of those.

I’m in a very good place in my life and just figuring everything out slowly, but in a healthy way. I owe that to myself. For me it’s so easy to write about the sad stuff and stuff that will help me feel better, but so hard to write when I’m happy. Why is it like that? I don’t know, but it explains why I haven’t written anything recently. Things are good though, I can’t complain. I’ll write an update on what I’ve been up to when I’m not dying from being hungover lol

SALLY ♡ T

Things That Just Come Into Your Life.

Things will come into your life when you least expect it or when you are ready even when you don’t feel like you are. I don’t know why or how, it just does. They all have some sort of place or lesson for you. There’s always a reason and it will stay present in your everyday life, in every way possible until you decide to accept it.

I am allowing myself to accept things. I am allowing myself to accept everything, I am not running, I choose to heal, I choose to improve myself. It’s hard to always allow yourself to be that open especially when it comes with a whole range of emotions. It’s not always pretty, but I’ve been starting to see different things or signs that I’ve never noticed before and it’ll fit so well with what I am struggling with. It’s crazy to think about how the placement of certain situations and actions in your life.

SAL.LY ♡ T

What I Want From 2021.

I’m not going to sit up here and say “new year, new me” because honestly I like who I am and how I am, but there are a couple adjustments that I feel would be better for me. I already found myself a while ago, but it’s hard trying to be that same person without falling in or getting sucked back into old toxic ways. I can tell you that it’s been a real struggle for the past year and a half.

I can agree that I fell back into old ways. I’ve felt like I had to prove myself to others when I really didn’t have too. I felt like I had to save myself when my name was getting dragged in the dirt, when my intentions and actions were made out of love. I let that whole thing eat me alive and I really let it get to me.
I’m gonna talk my shit now, but I really let a person who couldn’t speak or message me without hiding behind multiple fake accounts have so much of my energy. How stupid was I to let that happen continuously? You want to know the worst part of it all? I felt sympathy for this person because I know it all came from hurt, but I was too hurt and mad myself to go about things another way and I got sucked right into the toxic part of it. Before anyone gets ideas and decides to anonymously message me saying that this person wasn’t the only one to create the problem, I know that. I’m not blaming just one side, I’ve been fully aware, this side just happened to be the one that became public. I can also admit and take full responsibility that I fueled a fire and kept it going. What I won’t say is sorry though, I defended my own ass in any way that it felt necessary because a lot of people let all that shit slide and did absolutely nothing, but watch. They wanted the show and we gave that to them.

Now what I want from 2021 is to heal and find my peace with everything I just mentioned and everything else surrounding it. I want to move on and fully forgive myself, my person and all the others. I don’t want to carry this hate and sadness around anymore, that’s just not who I am. What I want from this year is to be able to let go and move on. I don’t want to feel like I have to watch my own back 24/7 whenever I’m in public. I want to be able to meet new people without having to feel like I have to be cautious and question if their intentions are actually genuine or not. Everything that I can do and feel over here is what I want it to be like again there. If you are reading this with ill will, I’m okay with us being complete strangers to each other. I understand that not everyone is for each other and really that’s okay. We can make it mutually known and I won’t ever bother you. I’d rather have that than someone faking to like me because I’m dating this person or cause I hang out with these people. I am not defined by some other person. I can respect the honesty of it.

I know what I want and hope for will take some time and it might not even be this year, but any step closer is good enough for me.
Because I’m going to read this plenty of times through out the year, a reminder, YOU chose to pick love when it was the last thing you felt and YOU did nothing wrong by that. Vivi con amore.
I talked my shit and now I’m leaving it here.

SALLY ♡ T

I Had To Grow Up Early.

I had to grow up at an early age and most people don’t really know that about me or know exactly what that means. At that time I didn’t know what that would mean either. I had to grow up to help raise my first niece, but before you think I’m complaining about it, I’m not. Honestly, I wouldn’t trade that part of me for anything else in the world.

12 years ago today in 2009, my first niece was born and I was only 12 in 8th grade. My sister was only in 10th grade and her baby daddy? All I’m going to say is I’d punched him again LOL. Anyways, when they say it takes a village to raise a child, they are not lying at all. My sister was super-mom, my mom was grandma-mom and I was auntie-mom. The 3 of us (with the help of others) gave it our all for this precious little baby. She really became my everything. I always liked kids before her, but when I held her for the first time I just fell in love. You can thank Anastasia for my maternal instincts and my crazy baby fever. I wasn’t her mom, but I filled in that position when my sister was at work or at school. Guys, when I say she was a super mom, she IS a super mom.

My favorite story is that I actually came up with her name because she almost was named some Japanese word or Serenity. If you’re wondering if I got her name from the movie, then you are 100% correct. I love the movie Anastasia and I really think the name is beautiful. I take full credit for her name and I also take the #1 auntie award. There’s no doubt that I’m the favorite auntie.

I put her in front of everything. I even pushed some of my education to the side so my sister could get her work done and have somewhat of her remaining teenage life by watching the baby. I don’t regret any of it. Like I said, I wouldn’t trade this part of me for the world because if it was for this little girl I wouldn’t be as loving, patient, and selfless. If I’m being really honest, she’s a big part of how I’m able to welcome a special little guy into my life. Having to help raise her and how she was like my own really opened that part of me.

Anastasia is now a preteen that is just doing it all and I couldn’t be any happier. She makes me so proud. Time really goes by so fast, if she could be small again like in these photos, I would just hold her in my arms forever and never let go. She’ll always be my little Anachacha.

Anastasia, one day you’ll see all my post about you and you’ll see all the pictures and I just want you to know how much I love you and how much you mean to me. I will always be there for you. I can’t wait to see you (but yes I can very much wait) become this amazing young woman, knowing that I had a part of it. You are so loved and I hope you feel that all the time. Happy birthday Anastasia! ♡

SALLY ♡ T