April to June was seemed promising at first, but what’s not meant for you will always end. I will be grateful for the time spent in these months, but may that hurt never find me again. In these digital dump blog series, you see all the good moments and I want to remind everyone that there’s also not so good moments that happen too. You only see what I decide to put out there. I’m still a human and it’s completely normal to have not good days and to be sad or mad. Life really is what you make of it ♡
Happy Thanksgiving! Happy turkey day! Happy gobble gobble day! Thanksgiving is a day to give gratitude. I wanted to give my gratitude before spending the day with my family.
To SALLY♡THINGS readers & supporters: I wanted to thank all of the SALLY♡THINGS readers & supporters. I’m very thankful to have this group of support and love. It means more than you know. I’m very blessed to have supporters who inspire me, supporters who help me, supporters who listen and read my content, supporters who motivate me. It has not been a content filled year, but you’re all still here waiting for the next post. Thank you for being there for me, when I am not. ♡
To my friends: To my closet friends all the way to just regular friends, old friends and new. I could thank you over and over and over for the next million years. I have the most supportive friends. The love from my friends has saved me from many, many hopeless days. You help ground me, but also help me live more. You stop me from doing stupids things, but also help me do those stupid (but good) things. This year, I’ve gotten many random messages, tags, phone calls from lots of people that included check ins, random compliments, silly jokes, serious conversations, motivational quotes, memes, etc. They all helped me more than you will ever know. Thank you for taking time out of your life to be apart of mine.
To my family: Thank you for loving me the way you do. I am nothing without the love of my family. The times spent together is always the best. I promise that I will do better with being more present.
To love: Thank you for the time spent together. Thank you for the love, I will hold on to it. Our time spent together as a small unit is all I ever want out of life. I’m thankful to be able to grow with love.
To my work: Read the friends portion as well because it also applies. I’m at work almost 24/7, so I spend most of my days with all of you. I’m thankful for that, I have made new friends and reconnected with old ones, I have made real connections and had so many laughs, work is never boring. My position can be very stressful, but knowing that I have a great team really helps with that. We’ll get through it all together.
To me: I’m thankful for being able to feel, to be able to sit with myself, to be alive. I’m thankful for my life and I will always strive to live my best life. There’s many days where I hold love and pain in the same place and I still come out soft, understanding and loving. There’s so much more, but I can’t find the right words. I’m just thankful that I still have room to grow, heal, and love.
I will now stop being so mushy and start my last minute grocery shopping. I am making deviled eggs for the first time today, so let me get focused on that. Again, I’m very thankful for those in my life. Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!
These summer months were filled with travels for me. Remember how I said I was going to live it up this summer? I definitely did! Having a life outside of work has been a long time coming and well deserved. I’ve been able to romanticize my life again and mentally I’ve been so much better. I turned 29, I ate good food, I danced, I added to my plushie collections when I literally have no space in my room, I loved and was loved back, celebrated my friend getting married, saw old friends and made ones. It was the best. I would love to thank the summer sun for all it provided, you’ll be very missed soon. Hopefully the winter blues will be kind this year. Loving every little thing in the world ♡
I probably have typed about this in the few blogs I wrote before, but never finished. Fair warning, be prepared to read a little more of this in other blogs if they ever get posted. So far it’s the only thing that comes to my mind when I try to sit down to blog, so it’s something that needs to get out and hopefully after I can blog about other things. I feel like a broken record sometimes. I blog a lot about healing and my journey, it’s all I know right now. It is currently what’s going on in my life. Then and now. I wouldn’t quite call this a drunk thoughts blog, but I did have a good chug of some strawberry sake. Just a bit to loosen up and be not so in my head about sharing this. I actually find it hard to share this side of me because it feels super and very vulnerable of me. Maybe a part of me feels embarrassed, maybe because it still gets me in my feels or that I haven’t yet fully processed it. It’s hard for me to express because I simply do not know where I’m quite at with it all. Whatever it is, here I try to go.
These summer months, I have really compared my current self to my 2023 self. If I could describe myself this summer it would be: confident, strong, happy, healing, thriving, joyful, sober, living life to the fullest, a normal person. If I were to describe summer Sally 2023 it would be: sad, but grateful, stressed, alcohol driven, burnt out, lost, fun, goal driven, and hurt. What two very different and confusing versions of me.
A word that best described me then is lost. A word that best describes me now is healing, but of course I would not be who I am today if it wasn’t for that lost version of me. Looking back I’m actually very grateful for that part of my life (not the problems, but the lessons) and very proud of how I managed, even though I was very hurt. I sat with myself every day and I listened to my cries, I listened to my thoughts, I felt the hurt. I sat with every emotion and let them take their turn. I sat with all my doubts and gave them the time they needed. I sat there and cried out every tear in my body almost every night until there was nothing left. Some people might think it’s pretty pathetic, but it was what I needed to do for me. That was my way of trying to comfort myself. I gave myself that safe space. Now, I still have that safe space, but it’s more for the appreciation of my happiness, celebration of small steps on my healing and the new self love that I have for myself. I won’t say I’m completely on the other side, but it’s definitely a positive path.
I did something that I never thought or saw myself doing and that was to stop engaging and going silent. I let go of any hope and expectation, I let go completely. That’s such a hard thing to do. To let things go free and to let things come to or go from you. I ignored and pushed everything away as much as I could until I realized that it was something that was trying to come to me. I really crawled into my own little shell and if you weren’t someone I saw in my daily life, I unfortunately didn’t reach out to or interacted with for a bit. My social battery was fighting so hard, but my emotional side won. I’m a person who tries to act fine when I’m not, but in reality my emotions literally leak out of my pores and you can tell how I am through my body language and facial expressions. I pulled away for a bit so people didn’t have to see that side of me, ask me anything and I didn’t have to keep pretending. I’m sorry to my friends and family for that and I’m also very thankful that everyone understood that I needed some space. I put myself first and really focused on nothing, but myself and moving forward. One positive that did come out of it was my decision on schooling. Now, because of then, I still am continuing my education and I feel more comfortable with being truly vulnerable in front of others even if I feel stupid. It is not a burden. Now, I can thank the ‘then me’ and comfort any part of her that I still have left with the ‘now me’.
One thing that I learned from this and in my therapy sessions are to acknowledge all these different parts of me, listen to what they need to say, validate them and thank them. Practicing this has helped build a better relationship within myself with myself. Practicing this has allowed to me forgive myself, love all the different parts of myself, remember my worth, remember what I deserve, growth, healing, forgiving others and most importantly not to hurt others because of my own hurt. One day, I’ll be at the end with the rainbows and unicorns or in my case, a room filled with anything and everything Hello Kitty.
This was really building up in my head and I tried to avoid blogging more on it, but I guess I still have a lot to say. If you are still reading this, thank you. Sending lots of love out.Then and Now. ♡
“Don’t let it break your heart.” Yeah, easy to say, but it’s not happening to you. What you actually don’t know is that it’s breaking more than just my heart, it’s breaking me. It’s breaking everything of me. It goes so much deeper. It’s not just my heart.
I’ve been hearing everything in the book like ‘don’t let it make you cold’ or ‘don’t care so much about it’ or ‘you’ll be better within time’, but I would rather much hear things like ‘how are you doing or feeling?’ and just a shoulder to cry on in silence. I really don’t need encouraging words or hope for the future, I need words that help me with my current emotions. I think people tend to forget that you still need time to process your emotions and feelings before you can think about the journey ahead of you. So really this blog is remind everyone of that.
September 2, 2023 (New blog post)
“Don’t let it break your heart.“ They say don’t let it break your heart, but maybe that’s exactly what you need. It doesn’t sound like a good time and from experience I can tell you that it is not a good time. When you do allow yourself to break down and feel, there’s some sort of healing that happens. You have to allow it to happen first though.
I still agree with what I wrote back in October, even now when people say some of those phrases I’ll give them the crazy eye twitch stare. The difference now is that I am more accepting of this new reality. I let go of the reality and future I had dreamt at that time and started dreaming of a new one. It took me a long time to accept that things were no longer meant for me. Once I got to that point, I didn’t know what was meant for me anymore. How do you trust yourself and judgement again? The only advice I have for when you get there is to just take it slow and take things day by day. Eventually things will come to you.
The way you treat yourself will really determine if you’ll let the situation break you or make you. You can become hateful and vengeful or kind and filled with love. It’s up to you and to each their own. I still have a bit to work on and for who knows how long, but I hope I do come out just as loving towards myself and others.
I wasn’t really sure if I was going to write any blogs that are about my current heartbreak/healing journey because I didn’t want it to consume more of my days than it already has. I’ve been trying to write about other things, but I’m stuck and nothing is coming to me naturally, but this. I don’t want my blog to be like all the others where they only write about trends, products, paid advertising, etc. I want it to be relatable, personal, raw and emotional. Almost like you’re talking to me in person when you’re reading each blog. So here I am, writing and hoping that maybe after this I don’t feel so stuck in this writer’s block.
Someone reminded me the purpose of my blog, which is to write and post about my own experiences and help other feel less alone in theirs. It’s for those who just feel. Thank you for that. Now read on and feel all the feels, I’m right there with you. ♡
If you’re in the spot where you have to put yourself together, but it feels impossible at times. I’m right there with you. Yep, healing a heart that you didn’t break, specifically your own heart. It’s hard, it’s sad, it’s draining. I know you’re tired, I know you’re hurting, I know you want to cry. The world seems like it’s running and running and you can’t keep up. I want you to know that it’s all okay to feel. I’m going through the very same feelings. It’s hard to continue living your life and trying to be happy all the time. I know how loving and happy memories pop up in your head, but it brings tears and sadness to your soul. Small things will trigger memories and sneak up on you when you’re finally having a better day and it changes you for the rest of the day. You’re tired from not being able to fall asleep cause your mind won’t stop running with thoughts or you wake up multiple times a night, every night, because you dream of your situation. I know, me too. I don’t have a cure to stop everything right away, but I know what will lessen these things over time is giving yourself space, a safe space, to feel all of it. Release the tears, cry your eyes out, feel sad, feel hurt, feel betrayed. Sit with your feelings, sit with yourself. While you sit with yourself, tell yourself it’s okay to feel this way and that you forgive yourself. Remind yourself that you are enough and that there was nothing else you could do to save anything. Remind yourself that you saved yourself instead. You had no other choice, but to choose yourself.
That’s how you’ll eventually put yourself back together. You have to feel all the feels and then tend to them. That’s the healing part, that is healing. Unfortunately, it’s not easy and it’s not happy. It’s a lot of grieving old versions of others and yourself. You aren’t alone and there are people out that that care for you. Don’t forget that. Don’t forget you are enough and in the end you’ll be even more. Date yourself, pour the love into yourself. Tend to your emotions and feelings, comfort yourself. I know you can do it. You, me, both, we can do it. ♡ We’re all in the thick of it.
Hi, I’m Sally and I’m not feeling my best. Mentally, I’m decent, but I could be better. I’m in a spot in my life where I’m just a little more vulnerable and emotional, a little heartbreak/self love and healing era. I’m not ashamed to admit I’m not where I could be, but I know I’ll get there eventually. It’s absolutely okay to not be okay. After all, we are all human. Love you more.
gen·tle having or showing a mild, kind, or tender temperament or character.
Gentle. What a word I crave to have. A word I crave to feel. Gentle. Gentle life, gentle love, gentle thoughts, gentle feelings and feeling gentle. What a thing to crave. I have been in something nothing close to gentle, it was everything opposite, all the while I was trying to be gentle.
Gentle love. Love is suppose to be gentle. Love should be gentle. Real love is gentle. You should be valued during your good and your bad moments. You should be respected in heated moments. Your boundaries should be respected. They should always consider you and your feelings in situations, they should consider your opinions and validate your feelings. You should be trusted with making your own decisions and that theirs isn’t always the right way. They shouldn’t assume that only they know better. You should never have to be gaslit or manipulated. A gentle love is where they are so thankful to have you in their life and they show you that in the most genuine way without any extra intentions behind it. In a gentle love, you are the priority. It’s just you. You shouldn’t have to question the little things or the way they act or their love for you. You should never be left wondering if they care about you. Love is suppose to be gentle and I crave exactly that.
Gentle thoughts and feelings. To have a gentle mind and heart again, I want that. To have a gentle mind that’s quiet with your thoughts or to have a gentle heart that won’t make you feel sad the moment you are no longer busy and can put your day away. They don’t necessarily have to be empty, but light and kind. Not filled with rage, sadness, doubt, etc. Something that is quieter than what it has been. Something more loving and not broken. I crave that.
I am tired and drained from everything not being gentle.
Strangers. one word with a huge meaning. one word that I hope will never be right. Strangers. How can you become a stranger though? Strangers are people who have no impact on your life. You. You had a huge impact on my life. Nothing like a stranger would. So does that really make you or us strangers, ever? Unless one of us really forgets everything, we will never be strangers. That was never the plan to become strangers.
Hello you! It’s older you, age 26 from 2022. I just want to start off by pointing out how much love you had and how much love you put out in the world. No one has a big heart like you or will understand it. You put others before yourself every time and because of that, you got hurt. Just know that hurt went away and we’re focusing on healing it everyday. You grew up really fast, maybe too fast. I know it felt impossible to avoid. I don’t even think it could have been avoided and because of it you decided to live your life and have as much fun as you could. Which resulted with bad school grades and rejection college letters, regretful decisions, relationships with the wrong people and even some abuse. Life experiences that you didn’t expect.
A lot of good also came from this time era too and we were able to take more from that and put it towards who we are today. The rejection letters gave you more freedom to choose your own life path and not the one you felt like you had to take. The regretful decisions lead you to better understanding and a better way of thinking through things before doing them. Relationships with wrong people taught you what kind of people you wanted to surround yourself with and the red flags to avoid. The abuse gave you strength and a voice that you are not scared of using, you protect people in similar situations and your beliefs are very strong. Everything showed you how life really is, the reality of things. You are a big foundation of your future.
I want you to know that things that you didn’t accomplish in this part of your life really doesn’t matter later. You make things work, you problem solve, you actually have a good head on your shoulders, even though you don’t think you do. You made real friendships, lifetime friendships. It’s actually a lot of our 10 years friendship anniversaries this year or the next. We’re still working on things we didn’t accomplish before, but it’s more along the lines of what we really want and not what was expected from us. The love you poured out is reciprocated back 10x from all the babies, you helped show all these little girls what it’s like to have a loving auntie. Showed them what unconditional love is, that’s so much more than what most would be able to achieve and you did it that young.
The most important thing that you did was rebel and did what you wanted to do instead of what was expected. As an adult now, I praise you for that. It was very hard and a lot of tears were cried, even some now, but we’re in a good place. We’re good now. I’m here to remind you that you are worth everything, you are not a disappointment, you are enough.
To Teenage Sally, you are everything to not only yourself, but also to others.♡
It’s something that has been talked about more and more each day, protecting your peace. So what does that actually mean? Basically protecting your space, your environment, not letting everyone take from you. You choose who gets your energy and those that don’t because they will drain you out. It doesn’t even have to be people, it can be actions or objects as well. Negative thoughts? Gone. Toxic family members? See you never. A gift that reminds you of a negative time in your life? Good bye.
I have a few stories of cutting certain friendships, relationships and connections that I really wanted to hold on to but no longer served, benefited or gave me joy. Now when I describe as ‘served me’ or ‘benefited’ I don’t mean it in a way that these were giving me something physical like money or material objects. I mean it in the way that they provided me with positive feelings, happiness, love, and support. Like they were there for me to lean on when needed without judgement or I didn’t feel like it was a competition of who does it better. People who are genuinely there for you, a two way relationship or connection.
Without getting into a lot of details because I still hope them the best, but I had to cut ties with a long term friendship, someone I knew the longest in my life. As we grew up, I think we grew apart and eventually that friendship started to drain me. I remained friends with this person for a long time after just hoping it would change cause I saw them as my #1 go to person. That friendship started to make me feel like we were competing with each other constantly. Eventually something happened, trust was broken and it was time to let go. As sad as it was to lose that friendship, I started feeling lighter, less drained. I no longer was in this negative mindset, it literally felt like I lost a storm cloud over my head. It’s just crazy how people can affect you negatively as much as they can positively. Another way that I’m working on protecting my peace is being more private with my personal social medias. I had to learn that not everyone is rooting for you. They’re really rooting for your downfall and just waiting to kick you the moment you look like you’re starting to fall. With that even if I publicly outed them, it wouldn’t stop. I was actually fueling their fire, feeding into their ego and giving them the attention that they so badly seeked and needed without even knowing. So I went quiet, I went private. On personal pages of mine, you don’t get to see my life unless I allow you to. I show you what I want to be shown on the other pages that are a little less private. Did that make people mad? Yeah. Did it stop all the crazies though? About 85%, but I’ll take that over what it was before. Then it gave me the opportunity to create this blog to relate with so many out there. It gave me an opportunity to be able to make a safe creative space for myself. So remember, not everyone is there for you and not everyone is rooting for you. That’s fine though, just like how you don’t like certain people, certain people won’t like you. Not everyone is for you and you’re not for everyone. Protect your peace.
If you are feeling drained from certain connections or relationships, I hope you find your way too. I asked on my Instagram and facebook page how others protect their peace and here were some responses that I got back. Hopefully someone can find this useful. (Blocked out names out of respect!)
Learning how to not care so much about what others think or say
Having a self care routine and making time for yourself
Setting boundaries and having gratitude because everything happens for a reason
By staying home or limiting your time around certain people
When you start to overthink, repeat an affirmation over and over again
I appreciate those that share their thoughts on my Q&A’s and for all of you that read my blog post TONS ♡ I just want to connect with people even if it’s just on a social media level. If I can help, then why not you know? Always take what you need from the blog and leave what you don’t. We’re out here to GROW, LOVE, and BE HAPPY.
SALLY♡THINGS 