Tag: Self Reminder

Things That Just Come Into Your Life.

Things will come into your life when you least expect it or when you are ready even when you don’t feel like you are. I don’t know why or how, it just does. They all have some sort of place or lesson for you. There’s always a reason and it will stay present in your everyday life, in every way possible until you decide to accept it.

I am allowing myself to accept things. I am allowing myself to accept everything, I am not running, I choose to heal, I choose to improve myself. It’s hard to always allow yourself to be that open especially when it comes with a whole range of emotions. It’s not always pretty, but I’ve been starting to see different things or signs that I’ve never noticed before and it’ll fit so well with what I am struggling with. It’s crazy to think about how the placement of certain situations and actions in your life.

SAL.LY ♡ T

Dear ST: You Don’t Have to Carry the Burden of Others.

You don’t have to carry the burdens of others, you don’t even have to carry others. Let it go. Release that way of thinking, that way of “caring”. It’s one of those things where it helps one person out, but takes down the other and the other is you. It’s a pattern that you can get easily suck back into.

Dear ST,
You tend to find yourself here way too often. You don’t need to take things on that aren’t yours. You don’t need to emotionally wreck yourself for the sake of others. You can empathize and feel sympathy for them, but you absolutely do not need to carry it for them. Let them have it. You can’t save everyone, you can’t save everyone, you can’t save everyone. Create this boundary, create a line, create something that will allow you to just walk away.
With the things that you have carried in the past, it’s time to unpack and let them run back to who they belong. I know you did it out of your big ass heart and that’s great that you can care so much for people in that way, but you can still show that without sacrificing yourself. For those that you still need to heal from, confront it, confront t h e m. Give that to yourself. Not everything was bad to take on, sometimes others do need that burden to be lifted off of them for a bit to find their way, but just remember it’s not the case with all of them. We want the best for others, but you need to include yourself into that too.
We’re finding ways to cope and heal this year, we’re finding new ways to improve, and to feel comfortable with being comfortable.
“The waves are farther apart.”

SALLY ♡ T

What I Want From 2021.

I’m not going to sit up here and say “new year, new me” because honestly I like who I am and how I am, but there are a couple adjustments that I feel would be better for me. I already found myself a while ago, but it’s hard trying to be that same person without falling in or getting sucked back into old toxic ways. I can tell you that it’s been a real struggle for the past year and a half.

I can agree that I fell back into old ways. I’ve felt like I had to prove myself to others when I really didn’t have too. I felt like I had to save myself when my name was getting dragged in the dirt, when my intentions and actions were made out of love. I let that whole thing eat me alive and I really let it get to me.
I’m gonna talk my shit now, but I really let a person who couldn’t speak or message me without hiding behind multiple fake accounts have so much of my energy. How stupid was I to let that happen continuously? You want to know the worst part of it all? I felt sympathy for this person because I know it all came from hurt, but I was too hurt and mad myself to go about things another way and I got sucked right into the toxic part of it. Before anyone gets ideas and decides to anonymously message me saying that this person wasn’t the only one to create the problem, I know that. I’m not blaming just one side, I’ve been fully aware, this side just happened to be the one that became public. I can also admit and take full responsibility that I fueled a fire and kept it going. What I won’t say is sorry though, I defended my own ass in any way that it felt necessary because a lot of people let all that shit slide and did absolutely nothing, but watch. They wanted the show and we gave that to them.

Now what I want from 2021 is to heal and find my peace with everything I just mentioned and everything else surrounding it. I want to move on and fully forgive myself, my person and all the others. I don’t want to carry this hate and sadness around anymore, that’s just not who I am. What I want from this year is to be able to let go and move on. I don’t want to feel like I have to watch my own back 24/7 whenever I’m in public. I want to be able to meet new people without having to feel like I have to be cautious and question if their intentions are actually genuine or not. Everything that I can do and feel over here is what I want it to be like again there. If you are reading this with ill will, I’m okay with us being complete strangers to each other. I understand that not everyone is for each other and really that’s okay. We can make it mutually known and I won’t ever bother you. I’d rather have that than someone faking to like me because I’m dating this person or cause I hang out with these people. I am not defined by some other person. I can respect the honesty of it.

I know what I want and hope for will take some time and it might not even be this year, but any step closer is good enough for me.
Because I’m going to read this plenty of times through out the year, a reminder, YOU chose to pick love when it was the last thing you felt and YOU did nothing wrong by that. Vivi con amore.
I talked my shit and now I’m leaving it here.

SALLY ♡ T

Not For Them.

Do it for you, not for them.
Sounds pretty self explanatory if you ask me, but why is it so hard to do? Why do we sometimes fall into situations where we allow people to indirectly control our lives? It’s time for us to stop it.

Do it for you, not for them.
It’s easy to confuse the two. You might think that you are doing whatever it is for you, but it’s actually influenced by others opinions or actions. If your decisions or actions are being played down because of so people, are you really saving yourself or are you allowing that to control you? Yes, it might seem like going about things a certain way can make it better, but guess what? You are allowing so people to control and gaslight you. I said what I said.

Do it for you, not for them.
Don’t let the actions of others start to define you. It’s a new year and it’s time to let things go. You’ve been holding in too much. Release it, let it go. The least you can do for yourself is celebrate what makes you happy. You’re here to live for you. It’s okay to become a more private person, but don’t let the boundaries of that get blurred. Not everyone on earth is here to celebrate you or to celebrate with you. Not everyone will be genuinely happy for you and that’s okay. Do it for you, not for them.

SALLY ♡ T

Another One Of Those Cheesy New Years Post.

H A P P Y N E W Y E A R S !!! We barely made it to 2021, but we did it, it’s here. I don’t have much expectations going into it because I did that with 2020 and HAHAHA. Sorry for the honesty or to rain on your parade, but all your problems carry over into the new year. HAHAHA, LETS GOOOOO.

I did want to come here to remind you to not expect too much and things aren’t going to change overnight, but you do have the power to change things. You just have to really want it and you have to allow it to come. You have to actually accept it deep down. Allow yourself to forgive what needs to be forgiven whether it’s with someone else or within yourself. Allow yourself to let go of things that aren’t for you. It’s okay to not understand certain things, just accept that.

It’s nice to come up with some new year resolutions, I think it’s a nice way to re-guide yourself and give some sort of rebalance to your life whether you end up sticking with it or not. Here are a couple that I’ve had in the past:

◗ Don’t get so caught up with work
◗ Take more time for myself
◗ Take more pictures
◗ Choose whatever I feel is best for me
◗ Trust your feelings
◗ Do whatever makes me happy

Obviously, those are super basic things, but I still find myself pushing them to the side. Things that I still struggle to find the balance of. I wrote those back in 2018 and here they are still on my list for 2021. Don’t only work on your top layers, but work on your base, your foundation. It’ll only make you a better person in the end. Remember to make sure that you are doing it for yourself and not for someone else, it’s more rewarding to do things for yourself. 2021 is about YOU. I hope this year can bring the understanding, the forgiving, and the peace that we all need. I genuinely hope 2021 brings you and I whatever our souls need. I hope 2021 can heal.

SALLY ♡ T

If You Release The Past.

“If you release the past, you’ll move ahead and bloom at last. The heart grows and it knows you can glow.”

Gobi, Over the Moon

Whatever it is that you’re holding onto, I hope you’re not letting it hold onto you. Read it again. Whatever it is that you’re holding onto, I hope you can live on without it. Believe that you can. Whatever you’re holding onto, I hope you can move on from it. Let it go, you can. The time will come and your shoulders will be a little less tense and the pressure of the weight will lift, until then just keep going. You’ve made it this far already, you can make it more.

Some things just never feel fair and I’ll never understand why certain things have to happen. Maybe that’s the problem for me, I keep trying to understand the why and not just letting it go. I can recognize and acknowledge it, but how do I actually apply it and live it? I feel myself thinking, wondering, writing this over and over again. I can see the future without it, I can remember the past of it, but I just don’t know what to do with the present of it.

I’ve been told that my post have been relatable and has actually helped or brought some clarity and I’m happy that it has for those people. That’s one of the reasons why I started this blog. I hope as it has for you, that maybe one day it will for me. It’s so strange, but comforting at the same time.

Remember every moment we have is a chance for something new. Not every moment is the same, so allow it to come to you.

SALLY ♡ T

“My needs are just as important. It’s okay to say no.”

-A Daily Self Reminder

You Can’t Heal If You Keep Pretending You’re Not Hurt.

To anyone who needs to hear this, including myself: STOP PRETENDING AND JUST LET GO. Let whatever you are trying to suppress out and allow your mind to rest. You can’t just sweep things under the rug and then expect it to go away. It doesn’t. Believe me, I tried and thought it would and now I’m here a year later still hurting about the same things.

It’s okay to feel hurt. It doesn’t feel good, but it’s okay to feel hurt. It’s a human thing, it’s normal. Even though you didn’t ask for it, you can’t let it control you and you have to find a way to accept it. Acceptance can happen in hours, days, months, or even years, but you will get there one day. It doesn’t have to happen quick and most times it won’t, some things are just too big to snap back from. That’s normal. Please do not beat yourself up for not being over or healed from a situation. You’re going through something already, you don’t need to add more to it.

If you pretend that you’re not hurting, you can’t heal. The out of sight, out of mind might lighten the load, but it will come creeping back. The only way to heal is to go about it head on. That can mean talking with people, making amends, going to counseling, etc. There’s so many healthy and positive ways of healing. You never are alone and you don’t have to heal yourself with no help. I think that’s so important for people to hear because sometimes we feel like we’re alone or our problems are just baggage that no one else wants to hear. There’s always someone to talk to and listen, you never are alone and you don’t have to heal yourself without help.

Be kind to yourself and be kind to others. You might be hurting still, but hurting others can disrupt whatever healing process they have going on too. It doesn’t feel good to be on the receiving end, believe that. Plus, projecting your hurt on someone else makes no one happier in the end. It doesn’t help you and doesn’t help them.

I could probably go on about healing and I’m pretty sure this is my 3rd post about this topic, but this is where I have the most feeling. Just like many of others, I’m just trying to accept it, move on and be okay. Just like many others, I’m in the thick of it and still struggling to get to where I want to be and picture myself to be. I am just like many others and if I can help someone while I get through mine, just perfect. The first step towards healing is to not pretend you’re hurt, but to acknowledge it. It’s okay to feel hurt.

SALLY ♡ T

Triggers are a test.

I was going to go on this huge rant, but you know? Sometimes it’s not even worth it. Writing the headline “Triggers are a test.” was just enough for me to acknowledge that very thing. It’s a test from others to see how you react and a test for yourself to see how far along you are and on exactly what path you walk. There will be people who purposely try to trigger you, then there’s triggers that your own mind will create. Then the ones that just happen from seeing the tiniest little thing.

The only thing you can control is how you react to it and how you let it affect you mentally and physically. There’s that saying “No one will remember what triggered you, just how you reacted.” It’s sad, but it’s true. There’s only so much you can do physically and a good percent of the time, it will only give you temporary relief. Focus on the triggers and your reaction mentally. How does it make you feel? What do you want to do and will that benefit you in any way long term? No? Okay, so now how can you release that negative energy in a way that it will be beneficial? The sooner you can train your mind to thinking that way, the easier and faster it will be for you to feel at ease. You may also find a deeper understanding and possibly heal yourself or be one step closer to your peace.

There will always be people who want to see your reactions and how badly it bothers you and those who wish and hope for your healing and peace. Who would you rather cater to? A self reminder.

SALLY ♡ T

Healing is not perfection.

"You can be healing and still: triggered, afraid, emotionally closed-off, unclear of which path to take next, or tender.
Healing is not perfection, it's small steps and progress towards becoming you again. Journey with grace through the process."
- L A L A H  D E L I A

Healing is not perfection. Get that through your head, understand it, and accept it. Healing is not perfection and it is so important to know that. You’ll feel happy one moment, but the next time you’re crying. Most days you forget all about it and some it’s all you can think about. The littlest things can trigger memories or recall old thoughts. It’s literally just as emotional as going through what you’re healing from, but without the trauma. Healing is about acknowledging that it happened, learning from what happened, accepting that it happened, and forgiving what happened. Expect many emotions and waves of emotions. It’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to feel clueless. It’s okay to feel lost. Just know those are temporary feelings and you’ll be okay in the end. You’re always going to be better in the end. Trust the process and take everything that you can from it.

I’m tired. Tired of how long it’s taking me. Tired of feeling like i’m stuck. Tired of feeling like people don’t think I’m not going and haven’t been going through it too. Like how does that even make sense to you?

SALLY ♡ T