Tag: Progress

Finding Yourself in a Familiar Place.

I sit here and find myself in a familiar place. A place where it feels embarrassing to admit that I’m back at again. A place where I have been trying to deny that I’m back in. A place where it breaks you before it makes you. A familiar place, a pretty vulnerable place. Healing alone.

Healing alone is an awful feeling and one of the hardest thing you’ll ever do. It will force you to sit with your grief and to feel it. A place I’m a little too familiar with. Healing alone is healing without using other people or things to fill a void inside of yourself, going out every weekend, healing without using distractions and doing anything to prevent yourself to sit in your grief and think about it. It’s an awful feeling. A place I’m a little too familiar with.

While I spend my time in this familiar place, I’ll give myself the grace that I need. I’ll sit with the grief once again and I’ll still look for all the happiness and love that I gained before the last. I’ll sit here wishing that all my love given is still making someone feel loved. That the right people know that I will always see them as they are and for who they are. The love I gave is for them to keep and theirs, for me. Saying goodbye never gets any easier and finding yourself in this familiar place doesn’t get easier either. I guess I’m back at the first steps again.

For however long it takes for me here, I welcome anyone else that finds their way in this familiar place. I’ll sit here and heal alone – with you.

July is m i n e.

Repeat after me, ‘July is mine.’ July is m i n e.
Yes, I believe in it whole heartedly because it’s my birthday month. Cancer season is here ♡ Every year I just feel so recharged when July comes around. I wanted to write out some affirmations and intentions that I would like for this July. I’m entering the last year of my 20’s next week, so I’ve been thinking a lot of where I would like to see myself, what I have already accomplished and the progress of what I’m working on.

July Intentions

Making mindful intentions for the month is a great start to bettering yourself and setting a foundation to creating self love and space for yourself. Setting intentions are like gentle goals for yourself. Which I am all here for! If this is new to you, here are mine. Always take what you need, my blog is just as much for you as it is for me ♡

✿ I accept myself as enough. I’ll admit that this is a hard thing to do for myself even if it might look different on the outside to others. I want to accept, fully accept, where I’m in my life especially with the pressures of society telling me where I should be at, at my age. I want to keep accepting that how I look is enough. I need to keep reminding myself to accept my worth and nothing left. I am enough.
✿  Everything I need is within me. I have the power and strength inside to control my own outcome. I am the one that decides my day and how it’ll turn out. I am the one who controls what bothers me or what stresses me or what I let happens. My outcome will be loving, peaceful, strong, and happy.
✿ I intend to love unconditionally. Love for myself and for others. To love myself unconditionally and other means to love without expecting a repayment or condition. I have enough love to pour and pour.
✿ Live with purpose. Live with meaning and be present in life. To be present in life and to enjoy the joyous moments will give a purpose. Then living with purpose will bring you more joy. Full circle. I intend to live my life and enjoy the journey as I go.

July Affirmations

Affirmations are things you can say daily to set your mood and start your day. It gets you in a more positive mindset and can be used as motivators for your intentions above. We speak affirmations out loud to put it into the world, so the world can give it back to us. Yes, speaking to yourself is okay! Here are mine for this month, again, take what you need and like ♡

✿ I stay open to feel calm and peace whenever I need.
✿ I attract positivity and happiness into my life.
✿ My potential is limitless and I choose to thrive, no matter what gets in my way or happens.
✿ My heart is open to giving and receiving love.
✿ I choose to focus on what I can control and I let go of what I cannot.
✿ I release stress and embrace peace, allowing my body to function optimally.
✿ I trust the journey of healing and transformation.
✿ I am deserving of love, happiness, and all good things life has to offer.
✿ I embrace challenges as opportunities for growth.

I hope July brings adventure, excitement, and happiness to everyone. We’re halfway through the year, so remember to pause and celebrate your progress and your achievements. Take some time to plan the 2nd half of your year. Only take the valuable lessons you learned from earlier this year and leave the rest behind. We don’t need to carry everything, all the time. Enjoy the long summer days and all that it has to offer. Prioritize yourself! ♡
Repeat after me, ‘July is m i n e.’

2023 Lessons Learned.

2023. What a year this was for me, it just kept going and never stopped. A rollercoaster of events. I like to always take some time to do a self reflection of the year. Think about the things that I’ve accomplished, think about things I still need to work or focus on, ways I could have been better and many other things. All I’ve been thinking of lately is what lessons did I actually learn this year. What did 2023 try to teach me?

Love.
Self love was a huge part this year. Learning to love myself in present day, present time. Could I love all the different parts of me? Could I love myself on good and bad days? Could I still love myself when I felt like I could not love at all? When I was at my worst could I show myself and give myself love? I also learned more of the meaning of love. The boundaries, the respect, the kindness, the caring, understanding and being patient. Everything that makes the meaning of love, but also what it stands for or the means to love someone or something. Love.

Balance.
I learned that I was lacking a lot in balancing the different parts of my life. School life, work life, relationships, personal life, etc. They were always dripping into each other and affecting one one. I had to try to balance everything or I would be in a huge mush pile of emotions. I had a time and place for certain things and I needed to know how balance those out. Something that I need to continue to work on going into 2024. Balance.

Rest.
I learned the hard way this year that I needed to rest. With how busy I got in the fall, I overworked myself. I would try to stay up late to get things done, but at a cost. Sleep was something I wanted, but had no time for. Even just laying down and doing nothing was something I had to get use to. I was so up, up, up, go, go, go all the time. I was doing too much. It’s absolutely okay to rest. Rest.

Boundaries.
This was a huge one. Boundaries were probably my biggest lesson this year and honestly will be worked on still in 2024. Saying no to things that I don’t want or need to deal with. Saying no to things and people that hurt me or not serve me. Making boundaries clear so I get respected in the way that I should. Being in a manager position at my work, where half the staff is in the same age group was a big one. Removing myself from situations that overstepped my boundaries. Even holding myself back from crossing other people’s boundaries. Learning to accept that my boundaries are different from others and if it’s judged then let them judge. Went through it all this year. Boundaries.

Change.
Any thing can happen and change at any time. Life happens fast. You lose people, you gain people. People get sick, people move, people switch up on you both good and bad. It’s not only about people either. My environment changed, my life path changed, my goals changed. Both good and bad change happened this year. You have to really roll with it and keep going, adapt. Change.

I will always find a way.
This will be the last one, even though there’s many more. I will always find a way through, I will always find my way. I’ve pulled myself out of a lot of dark days this year. Not many people or anyone really know much of this, but I did it. I’m still coming out of it, but very much on a brighter path. No matter what situation I was put through this year, I still found a way through. I took a quiet moment to remember all the things I had to deal with this year and wow, that shit was crazy. I’m glad I can leave all of that back and behind me. Don’t follow me please! I don’t need it, I’m begging. I’m proud of myself and where I’m at now. I will always find a way.

Some of my highlights of 2023:

ꕥ I started working with GR Model Management as an assistant. The opportunity really solidified what I wanted to do for my career path.
ꕥ I went back to school after a long 9 year break and completed my first semester. It felt good to be back!
ꕥ My nephew was diagnosed with leukemia this year, BUT his treatments have been going super well and he’s been looking and feeling better every day. The doctors gave us a date of when his last chemo therapy session will be in a few years, which is one of the best news! He’s been fighting it hard. #TeamMateo
ꕥ Lost Lands 2023 was on another level this year. So much love! TABS ♡
ꕥ I was lucky enough to be able to see my friends from Wisconsin and Minnesota multiple times this year! The love I have for them is so big. Distance does not matter.
ꕥ I found my creative side again this year. More blogs were written and mini notes. It’ll continue and there will be more content next year.
ꕥ I’m coming out of 2023 and into 2024 with love.

This year was not about big wins or big goals for me, it was about building my foundation with little things so I could start doing the bigger next year. Finding my way through and through. This year was about letting things come and go and flowing along with it instead of fighting every second. This year was about accepting everything, good and bad. Yes, 2023 felt crazy, but what my old manager use to say, “To survive this crazy life, you have to be a little crazy too.“

Happy New Years to all of SALLY♡THINGS readers. Be safe tonight and have a blessed 2024. ♡

With love ♡

To The Little Girl.

To the little girl,

There’s so much that I could tell you, but where would I even begin? You’ve been through more than most and your experiences are a little more complicated. I’ll start with these few things and we’ll go as we uncover more inner child situations.

You’re confidence and genuine.

You probably think this is crazy coming from this age, but you were very confident in yourself. Probably more confident than you are now at the age of 26. You were never scared of going for what you want. Yes, shy, but you still went for whatever it was that you set your mind too. You are also very genuine and authentic to yourself even though you felt like you should change. People like who you are, the real you. It’s okay to stand out, it’s not a bad thing. I know being shy, but also always standing out was a conflicting inner mess. You naturally stood out no matter how hard you tried to fit in and be the same as everyone else. It just wasn’t you and you do learn how to embrace it later.

Everything thrown your way actually made you a better person.

Yep, that’s right. Everything that you went through no matter how hard it was, it changed you for the better. It gave you perspective and opened your mind. No matter how hurtful it was or how sad you felt, you managed to keep your heart open and full. I want to say thank you, thank you for being so strong and not giving up. I’ll say this over and over, but I’m so proud of you. I know you needed to hear those words more often.

I’m proud of you.

You cried many tears for many years wanting to hear those words. You felt like everyone was always wanting and expecting you to be exactly like older sissy. Nothing wrong with that because she’s super smart and has her life together, but it just isn’t the same fit for you. You think differently, you act differently, you view things differently. You both will have two very different lives that you’ll live and the best part of that is you’ll learn from each other. More than you would have if you were her exact copy, the copy everyone tried to hold you up to. You are your own person and having someone’s recognition of that would have saved you lots and lots of tears. You would have had that validation that you craved so badly. I’m sorry you still struggle with this, but it’s getting lighter and lighter.

I’m sorry that this is what sticks with you and is your biggest struggle. That it’s so hard for you to bring up or talk about without tearing up and shutting out. To the little girl, if I could go back in time I would go back to every time you cried over not feeling enough or recognized and give you the biggest hug. A hug that would heal the both of us cause well… it’s still something that comes up now from time to time. I’m proud of you though and I want you to know that others do feel the same way.

To the little girl,

I’m sorry you felt lack of affection and love. I’m sorry that it caused you to stay in relationships that weren’t the best for you because you didn’t know better. I’m sorry it caused you to hold on to something that wasn’t there or that you hoped it would show up later. There wasn’t anything that you could have done that would have changed it. There’s consequences to every decision made and it’s unavoidable. You made the best of what you could. The lack of affection and love is actually really common with first gen American born kids. It’s hard for not only you, but your parents too. They were adapting and learning a new way of life as well as having to raise kids and trying to heal from their own traumas.

I want to thank you.

I want to thank you for taking everything like a champ because without you, there would not be this current version of me. I could be coldhearted, shut everything and everyone out and hate the world around me, including everything in it. Instead, I care and love with all my heart and still have space to allow more things to care and love in. I know who I am, I know who we are. I will continue to live this way and I will continue to work on healing you.

To the little girl, without you there is no me.

Everything All at Once.

I’ve been feeling over whelmed the last few weeks and strongly this week. It feels like everything is coming at me all at once. I’ve started writing a blog every day this week to express how I’ve been feeling, but I haven’t been able to finish any of them because I also feel mentally exhausted. Then it’s 5 am and I need to sleep or I’ll be tired for work. Well hello 6 am, it’s me. I’m up even later than usual. I guess I just have to take the L for work.

It’s frustrating, I’m feeling frustrated at this point. It’s exhausting, I’ve been exhausted. It’s overwhelming, I’m overwhelmed with everything, I have been overwhelmed with everything for a long time now. It’s not with just what’s going on around me and within my personal life, but also with all the overthinking and trying to process situations and understanding and trying to figure out how I feel about things. Then I go to work and that takes up a lot of my time, so I don’t even have that much time out of my day to work everything out. I feel like I’m trying to catch up with myself from the times of 2 am – 6 am everyday. That’s all I get and it’s not enough. I think I’m starting to burn out. You don’t want to try to figure things out during those times especially when you’re alone anyways. It’s not something I can’t handle, but I’m starting to feel defeated. Which makes me feel sad and then it’s another thing for me to add on. Everything all at once.

Your mental health is important. You are important. It’s important and very needed to put yourself first. Allow yourself to unload your mind, give yourself the time and a safe space or environment. Really focus on helping yourself. You are the only you that you will ever have. Do whatever it takes to feel okay again and remember to do it in a positive way and not with something that will later negatively effect you. Build yourself up and then protect that.

Letter to myself:
You got this, Sally. You can pull through. Adjustments are coming, just hold on a little longer. Things are going to change and it will help with a lot of the things. Do what feels right even if it’s not what you want. Let go of things that you cannot control. Communicate what you can, baby steps. Don’t forget to celebrate the baby steps along the way. Give yourself some sort of break. Things feel hard, but you’ve, we, us, I have been making progress. You’re stronger than you know, but I still worry. Remember, everything at once will eventually become nothing at all. Truly, take care of yourself this time.

Dear March.

It was pretty until it wasn’t. It snows and then a false spring comes. It’s hard to tell what you’ll get within this month.
Just go for it. Just go. The way things were said was like it was coming straight out of a fairytale. The way I felt, the way the night went, it was a fairytale. I know now that it was coming from a problem or guilt, but also hope and the heart. It gave me hope. I gave me more than hope, blind hope, but it was so perfect. Do I want to ruin this memory or will I remember it as how I did before? Was it a cry of truth or was it innocently true? Sometimes it’s hard to see everything as how I saw them in the moment.
It was a start of something that needed to happen. The good and bad, everything needed to be said and out. I spoke as I was holding back every emotion known to man. I spoke. That’s such a huge thing for me. I cried tears and a lot of them. I remember waking up one morning and I didn’t have time to open my eyes yet and I cried. This was truly the start of everything. It hurt, I was hurt, but it was needed. It was part of what I needed. Healing is so messy. Healing hurts so much until it doesn’t anymore.
What a change. I can’t believe it myself looking back. The thing you said that night, yeah it happened. Was it a cry? I still don’t know, but I don’t think I want to know the truth. The progress of each brings me tears if I think about it. To go through such high highs and straight to the lowest lows, it made it.

Dear March, tell me that there’s light at the end of all this starless night.

SALLY ♡ T

Biggest Challenges of 2020: Free Time.

Most blogs show you the flawless side of that person’s life, the highest highs, the happiest happy. Well as you have probably read, not mine, but that’s what I like so much about having a blog without a centralized theme. I get to have the freedom of being able to post whatever I want, whenever I want.

FREE TIME.

There was so much free time for me this year and I had no idea what to do with myself. That was the hardest because then I realize without working Sally and this busy lifestyle that I have, who really am I? Without the fancy music festivals and without being around my friends, who am I? Who is the basic, stripped down version of me? I really thought I knew already, but I really didn’t know. Some time along the way, I lost sense of who I was and with this pandemic all I had was this free time to sit in it.

When was the last time I had three months of absolutely nothing to do? Most likely, never. I’ve been working since my freshman year in high school. So to me without work was such a big change in my life. It’s good to be recognized as a hard worker, but there’s so much more that I would rather be known for. Work is not my life. With all that time I just thought about: What were my hobbies? What would I do with my 24 hour days? I tried out a lot of different things to try to figure it out. I didn’t realize that I had gotten so caught up in the work and party life that when work and bar/club/party life was shut down, I felt like I was left with nothing. I tried keeping up with artist virtual streams and perler making as a crafting hobby. I tried beading/making cool rave candies and watching different genres of movies and shows to see if there was something I’ve missed. I’ve tried being more active and taking daily walks, I even went hiking and I don’t ever hike. I even started this blog as a hobby. I’ve tried so many different things this year to try to find what I like or what will potentially stick with me and what one brings out the best of me. Many things came and go and a few stayed, but sometimes I feel like I’m still looking.

With free time, you have to keep yourself busy or you just kind of sit there in your head with your thoughts and mine are not all that pretty. Another problem that I’ve faced with having all this free time. Instead of thoughts getting swept under the rug, they are all just there and pretty loud. I had to actually face them and find a way to correctly heal those thoughts. Strange how it all is.

Anyways, I think this might be something that I’ll still have to adjust to still going into 2021. It’s a slow progress, but I’m getting the hang of it. I’m learning a lot about who I am and who I want to be.
F r e e T i m e .

SALLY ♡ T