Tag: Letters to You

September & October Mini Writings.

These two months were quite hard on me, but here I am. Still here, still standing, still living, still loving, still going. Physically exhausted, mentally stronger and overall more kind and gentle to myself. ♡

September 2, 2023

Let them.

Let them try to ruin you and your day.

You know you haven’t played in any fire lately.

They are doing it out of their own insecurities about you anyways.

– sally.things

September 10, 2023

“Listen before I go.”

– sally.things

September 16, 2023

Once you let go, you let go over and over and over again.

You let them go when you go to the grocery store and don’t buy their favorite snack. You let go of them when you eat at your guys’ favorite restaurant and decide to order something different. You let them go again when you do things out of your normal routine that involved them.

You’ll be letting them go in many different ways, in many different places and a million different times.

– sally.things

October 8, 2023

Keep on laughing, smiling and finding little joys in things.

The little things will eventually become big and you’ll forget about all the worries of the past.

Love life in the present.

– sally.things

October 12, 2023

I deserved a kinder goodbye. One that wasn’t ruined by deceit.

One that didn’t get competed against or used for someone else’s needs.

One that wasn’t used by another and rubbed in my face.

I deserved a goodbye that was only meant for you and me.

– sally.things

October 24, 2023

I’m dancing with all my emotions and giving each and every one of them their time to shine.

We’ll dance until we can’t dance anymore.

Love, sadness, grief, gratitude, heartache, happiness, and more.

What a lovely ball.

– sally.things

October 25, 2023

Read these words and think of me.

Remember all the love and think of me.

Now read these words: think of me for once.

– sally.things

Drunk Thoughts: I’m Tired, Exhausted Really.

I’m tired. Tired of a lot of things. Tired of a lot. It gets pretty exhausting in this head of mine. To do this and then to do that, to make myself look put together when I feel like I’m not. I have to care for this, I have to look after that, I have to hide this, so I don’t step on that. It’s exhausting. It gets really tiring.

I feel like I take care of a lot and I do. I just wished I didn’t put myself in that position so often because when I need it, who’s going to take care of me? I’m too tired to take care of me sometimes. Who’s going to tell me that I’m going to be okay? I need someone too.

Who’s going to let me let it all out and just sit there to listen? I don’t need advice, I don’t need to be told anything, just someone who will just sit and listen without saying a word. It’s funny though, I have a lot of people that are willing to be this person for me, but I would never let them because I don’t want anyone or others to worry about me.

SOBER SALLY TIME
I actually wrote this back in August/September of 2020 and never posted it because there were so many other Drunk Thoughts post that I was writing at the time. As you can see I was not in the best headspace. Pandemic and my own life was really hitting me hard. I’ve been going back and forth with myself with my decision to post this or not because it’s such a personal and vulnerable feeling to me, BUT that’s what I created and intended this blog to be. A safe place that I created, where I can share that side or those thoughts. I can also share that I do not feel this as intense anymore, which makes it easier for me to share. I have been working on the healing that I’ve been needing, I’ve been working on positive healing and actually accepting and letting it in. I have made peace with things and is still working on looking for the peace in others.

I share this because I know there are others who feel this way and honestly sometimes I go back to feeling this way. It’s not something that you can beat and it goes away forever. You have to actually make your peace and teach your brain not to go there and that’s hard. YOU WILL HAVE BETTER DAYS. I promise you that you will. Find your footing first, then learn how to walk. Remember to take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. There is no other you.

SALLY ♡ T

Dear February.

February, you always find a way of repeating yourself for the past few years and honestly I’m over it. There’s very little good to remember, instead it’s a stretch of time and waiting. You try so hard for something so simple. I wouldn’t say rock bottom, but why does it feels like it’s always desperate climbing out of something? Why must you be so stubborn?
First was a start of something I would have never known. Something that I didn’t think was capable of happening. Something that I just didn’t know. Something that won’t ever leave me. Just a lot of missing and things unknown. A strange feeling, but I trusted something else because there was no way. It’s just not there, right? It’s happy still. It’s still just a day dream, still that fairytale, but you’re losing it right in front of you without even realizing it. It’s busy, one starts to feel lonely while the other is doing something with a bigger vision in mind. It’s not aligned.
Second, just more of the same thing except it’s known. Be aware of your surroundings. You’re more aware of the bottles than what going in your life. That warmth from last month got you through, so why not continue? It allows you to escape the old and the new, it allows you to escape the feeling of being a ticking time bomb. Any emotions released, good and bad, but you just don’t care because it’s the only time you can express anything. Otherwise, it’s too much to even think of any other time. Stand up for yourself and pour out whatever you feel. Pour out a cup, pour out two, pour out three at least. Shit, we’re already on five, make it six and we’re numb. Perfect. It’s the only thing you can make sense of, the only thing that feels real, the only thing that is staying consistent. The one thing reality is letting you take control of. Just keep busy.
“So I’ll take all of all of my wasted love and turn it into wine in my cup.”
Third, it’s not a full repeat, but there’s lingering. There’s still some of the same. There’s some of the same cups, but not out of control. We don’t drink until we’re numb anymore, but emotions still are there. It’s still there. Keep busy only a few left. There’s joy, but it can still feel lonely, but there’s joy. Things aren’t fueling anymore. There’s room to think with clarity and understanding. Understanding? Maybe that’s a reach. Your skin is tough, but things still sit under it. All you can do is sit and control yourself.

Dear February, save me. You’ve given me everything you gave me, but you’re scorned.

SALLY ♡ T

Not For Them.

Do it for you, not for them.
Sounds pretty self explanatory if you ask me, but why is it so hard to do? Why do we sometimes fall into situations where we allow people to indirectly control our lives? It’s time for us to stop it.

Do it for you, not for them.
It’s easy to confuse the two. You might think that you are doing whatever it is for you, but it’s actually influenced by others opinions or actions. If your decisions or actions are being played down because of so people, are you really saving yourself or are you allowing that to control you? Yes, it might seem like going about things a certain way can make it better, but guess what? You are allowing so people to control and gaslight you. I said what I said.

Do it for you, not for them.
Don’t let the actions of others start to define you. It’s a new year and it’s time to let things go. You’ve been holding in too much. Release it, let it go. The least you can do for yourself is celebrate what makes you happy. You’re here to live for you. It’s okay to become a more private person, but don’t let the boundaries of that get blurred. Not everyone on earth is here to celebrate you or to celebrate with you. Not everyone will be genuinely happy for you and that’s okay. Do it for you, not for them.

SALLY ♡ T

I Had To Grow Up Early.

I had to grow up at an early age and most people don’t really know that about me or know exactly what that means. At that time I didn’t know what that would mean either. I had to grow up to help raise my first niece, but before you think I’m complaining about it, I’m not. Honestly, I wouldn’t trade that part of me for anything else in the world.

12 years ago today in 2009, my first niece was born and I was only 12 in 8th grade. My sister was only in 10th grade and her baby daddy? All I’m going to say is I’d punched him again LOL. Anyways, when they say it takes a village to raise a child, they are not lying at all. My sister was super-mom, my mom was grandma-mom and I was auntie-mom. The 3 of us (with the help of others) gave it our all for this precious little baby. She really became my everything. I always liked kids before her, but when I held her for the first time I just fell in love. You can thank Anastasia for my maternal instincts and my crazy baby fever. I wasn’t her mom, but I filled in that position when my sister was at work or at school. Guys, when I say she was a super mom, she IS a super mom.

My favorite story is that I actually came up with her name because she almost was named some Japanese word or Serenity. If you’re wondering if I got her name from the movie, then you are 100% correct. I love the movie Anastasia and I really think the name is beautiful. I take full credit for her name and I also take the #1 auntie award. There’s no doubt that I’m the favorite auntie.

I put her in front of everything. I even pushed some of my education to the side so my sister could get her work done and have somewhat of her remaining teenage life by watching the baby. I don’t regret any of it. Like I said, I wouldn’t trade this part of me for the world because if it was for this little girl I wouldn’t be as loving, patient, and selfless. If I’m being really honest, she’s a big part of how I’m able to welcome a special little guy into my life. Having to help raise her and how she was like my own really opened that part of me.

Anastasia is now a preteen that is just doing it all and I couldn’t be any happier. She makes me so proud. Time really goes by so fast, if she could be small again like in these photos, I would just hold her in my arms forever and never let go. She’ll always be my little Anachacha.

Anastasia, one day you’ll see all my post about you and you’ll see all the pictures and I just want you to know how much I love you and how much you mean to me. I will always be there for you. I can’t wait to see you (but yes I can very much wait) become this amazing young woman, knowing that I had a part of it. You are so loved and I hope you feel that all the time. Happy birthday Anastasia! ♡

SALLY ♡ T

To My Mr. Sweetface,

The chances of you reading this is close to none or when I’m too old to remember about this blog, but to my little Mr. Sweetface ♡

To explain why you’re Mr. Sweetface, I thought it was such a cute nickname from one of my favorite shows, Jane the Virgin. In the show, she unexpectedly got pregnant and that’s what she called her son. With you, you came into my life unexpectedly, but in a good unexpected way. Actually the best unexpected way that could happen.

Today is your birthday (I posted this a day later) and I can’t be there to celebrate with you, but just know how much I’m celebrating you from afar! We’ve been in each others life for 2 years now and I can’t even explain how special you are to me. Our bond is very special and no one will take that away. You are my best friend when I come visit over there and I love how much you “bother” me. (I never see it that way, btw.) One of the sweetest kids in the WHOLE SOLAR SYSTEM. That’s right, solar system! Even though I’m the adult, you have taught me so much more than what I taught you, to love someone as their own. I’m truly grateful for that and how open you’ve been to letting me in. There’s so much I wish I could tell you now, but as time passes and your big brain expands more you’ll understand it better. You are really one of the greatest blessings in my life.

I hope you’ll see that I’m not here to replace anyone or to take anyone away, but to make my own little space in your heart. I want to be there for you, for everything and to be able to share those moments with who you already share it with. Just know I am always here for you. Our hello’s, goodbye’s and I will miss you’s are still so special to me and warms my heart every time.

I can’t wait to hear all your fun facts and see all your new projects the next time I’m over. Miss you tons and hope you had the best birthday yet. You’re super loved and I hope you know that!

SALLY ♡ T

Dear Us,

Relationships are tricky themselves and then you add on the long distance for us. It seems 1000x harder when we start to go through the downs of every relationship because we simply can’t be there physically for each other, but somehow we’ve found a way to make it work. Somehow we’ve found a way to get through the toughest problems. I’m so grateful for that and blessed to be where we are at currently. Things are falling in place and I’m very happy to say it’s because we haven’t given up on working together and not just individually. Was it a blessing in disguise? I can’t answer that myself, nor would like to dwell on figuring it out. We don’t need to anyways, there’s still a lot to continue working on together. I hope this energy is here to stay for the rest of our days.

Thank you for the healthy communication, thank you for the conversations, thank you for the emotional and physical support, for the extra time spent on us, and most importantly thank you for your never ending love for me. You or some might think it’s weird that I’m thanking for what seems like the basics of a relationship, but sometimes a lot of those qualities are missing. Plus it isn’t easy all the time or comes naturally with certain situations, so that extra step from ourselves has to be made. Can you feel it too? Less of the ‘I don’t knows’ and ‘what do we dos’ being replaced? Less holding back thoughts and sitting in silence? We can have those hard conversations without exploding or feeling lost in what to do or say next. I love that we are growing together as a couple and seeing it also helping with our own self growth. They say the first year is the hardest and we’re no strangers to that, but baby we’re almost there.

I love you with everything,
SALLY ♡ T

Time to be super sappy and loving now! Our pictures and your graduation ones turned out so nice, I’m obsessed with how cute you are. Even though the reasoning is a pandemic, I’ve felt nothing but super lucky to spend all this time with you. I’m lucky to spend this lifetime with you too. The love that I have for you goes beyond what anyone could ever imagine. Cheers to every big and small accomplishment that we’ve worked for this year and especially to the last few weeks/months. I love you so much and I’ll see you soon. ♡