Tag: Working On Yourself

To Teenage Sally.

Hello you! It’s older you, age 26 from 2022. I just want to start off by pointing out how much love you had and how much love you put out in the world. No one has a big heart like you or will understand it. You put others before yourself every time and because of that, you got hurt. Just know that hurt went away and we’re focusing on healing it everyday. You grew up really fast, maybe too fast. I know it felt impossible to avoid. I don’t even think it could have been avoided and because of it you decided to live your life and have as much fun as you could. Which resulted with bad school grades and rejection college letters, regretful decisions, relationships with the wrong people and even some abuse. Life experiences that you didn’t expect.

A lot of good also came from this time era too and we were able to take more from that and put it towards who we are today. The rejection letters gave you more freedom to choose your own life path and not the one you felt like you had to take. The regretful decisions lead you to better understanding and a better way of thinking through things before doing them. Relationships with wrong people taught you what kind of people you wanted to surround yourself with and the red flags to avoid. The abuse gave you strength and a voice that you are not scared of using, you protect people in similar situations and your beliefs are very strong. Everything showed you how life really is, the reality of things. You are a big foundation of your future.

I want you to know that things that you didn’t accomplish in this part of your life really doesn’t matter later. You make things work, you problem solve, you actually have a good head on your shoulders, even though you don’t think you do. You made real friendships, lifetime friendships. It’s actually a lot of our 10 years friendship anniversaries this year or the next. We’re still working on things we didn’t accomplish before, but it’s more along the lines of what we really want and not what was expected from us. The love you poured out is reciprocated back 10x from all the babies, you helped show all these little girls what it’s like to have a loving auntie. Showed them what unconditional love is, that’s so much more than what most would be able to achieve and you did it that young.

The most important thing that you did was rebel and did what you wanted to do instead of what was expected. As an adult now, I praise you for that. It was very hard and a lot of tears were cried, even some now, but we’re in a good place. We’re good now. I’m here to remind you that you are worth everything, you are not a disappointment, you are enough.

To Teenage Sally, you are everything to not only yourself, but also to others. ♡

Protecting My Peace.

It’s something that has been talked about more and more each day, protecting your peace. So what does that actually mean? Basically protecting your space, your environment, not letting everyone take from you. You choose who gets your energy and those that don’t because they will drain you out. It doesn’t even have to be people, it can be actions or objects as well. Negative thoughts? Gone. Toxic family members? See you never. A gift that reminds you of a negative time in your life? Good bye.

I have a few stories of cutting certain friendships, relationships and connections that I really wanted to hold on to but no longer served, benefited or gave me joy. Now when I describe as ‘served me’ or ‘benefited’ I don’t mean it in a way that these were giving me something physical like money or material objects. I mean it in the way that they provided me with positive feelings, happiness, love, and support. Like they were there for me to lean on when needed without judgement or I didn’t feel like it was a competition of who does it better. People who are genuinely there for you, a two way relationship or connection.

Without getting into a lot of details because I still hope them the best, but I had to cut ties with a long term friendship, someone I knew the longest in my life. As we grew up, I think we grew apart and eventually that friendship started to drain me. I remained friends with this person for a long time after just hoping it would change cause I saw them as my #1 go to person. That friendship started to make me feel like we were competing with each other constantly. Eventually something happened, trust was broken and it was time to let go. As sad as it was to lose that friendship, I started feeling lighter, less drained. I no longer was in this negative mindset, it literally felt like I lost a storm cloud over my head. It’s just crazy how people can affect you negatively as much as they can positively.
Another way that I’m working on protecting my peace is being more private with my personal social medias. I had to learn that not everyone is rooting for you. They’re really rooting for your downfall and just waiting to kick you the moment you look like you’re starting to fall. With that even if I publicly outed them, it wouldn’t stop. I was actually fueling their fire, feeding into their ego and giving them the attention that they so badly seeked and needed without even knowing. So I went quiet, I went private. On personal pages of mine, you don’t get to see my life unless I allow you to. I show you what I want to be shown on the other pages that are a little less private. Did that make people mad? Yeah. Did it stop all the crazies though? About 85%, but I’ll take that over what it was before. Then it gave me the opportunity to create this blog to relate with so many out there. It gave me an opportunity to be able to make a safe creative space for myself. So remember, not everyone is there for you and not everyone is rooting for you. That’s fine though, just like how you don’t like certain people, certain people won’t like you. Not everyone is for you and you’re not for everyone. Protect your peace.

If you are feeling drained from certain connections or relationships, I hope you find your way too. I asked on my Instagram and facebook page how others protect their peace and here were some responses that I got back. Hopefully someone can find this useful. (Blocked out names out of respect!)

  • Learning how to not care so much about what others think or say
  • Having a self care routine and making time for yourself
  • Setting boundaries and having gratitude because everything happens for a reason
  • By staying home or limiting your time around certain people
  • When you start to overthink, repeat an affirmation over and over again

I appreciate those that share their thoughts on my Q&A’s and for all of you that read my blog post TONS ♡ I just want to connect with people even if it’s just on a social media level. If I can help, then why not you know? Always take what you need from the blog and leave what you don’t.
We’re out here to GROW, LOVE, and BE HAPPY.

To Childhood Sally.

Dear Childhood Sally (age 1-10),

Hello from 26 year old you from 2022. Oh god have I missed you! What it would be like to be as innocent and stress free again. You don’t even know it, but you have a whole entire life ahead of you that your tiny little child brain could never even imagine. What you dreamed for yourself at this age is not even close to who you become in your adult life. You dreamed of being a singer and dancer or a veterinarian. Sorry to break it to you, but you are none of those. Anyways, I’m here writing to you because I am currently trying to heal you, this inner child that I still carry around. This inner child that at this age went through multiple events that would change you and end up becoming your traumas.

Did you know that you grew up with some of the biggest technology advancements? You went from hit clips to burning cd’s, you were born right after web browsing became a thing, and the start of social media happened right before you hit middle school. You had that play outside and eat dirt childhood and you also adapted quite well with all the technology advancements happening. It’s so crazy to think about. Did you know you also went through your parent’s divorce? I won’t get into much detail, because we can keep that for ourselves, but you are a strong one. You struggled hard with that one and the struggle went on for years. That tiny child brain that couldn’t imagine her future was able to make her way through somehow.

You are so strong and I’m proud of you. I am working on healing your wounds that will eventually become present much later, but I am working on you. I want you to know that I see you and I hear you. I understand everything. I would love to go back in time and sit there to hug you at what you felt were your hardest moments. We are very much still alike still. We hide so much of our emotions because we don’t want other to see us that way. We still need that person to help with our bottled up emotions, but I’ll be that for you as much as I can. Thank you for giving me a great childhood regardless. By the way, we still love the color pink, we just went through a small phase ♡ 

Let Me Reintroduce Myself and SALLY♡THINGS.

I wrote a super brief first post of the reasoning behind creating SALLY♡THINGS, which you can read here <- click
I think that I was too excited about writing the first post so I didn’t write it the way that I had imagined. Plus the way I thought I would be using my blog turned out very differently, in a good way though. So let me reintroduce myself again!

My name is Sally Tran and I’m turning 27 this year in July. I am Vietnamese, part of the first American born generation of my family. I’m still very rooted with my culture and background, Vietnamese dishes are my favorite. Even though I don’t speak as fluent as I use too, I understand it perfectly fine. Okay, maybe more like 90%, but that’s enough to pass. A little fun fact, I discovered over the pandemic that I’m mixed with Italian about 20-25%! I was born and raised in Grand Rapids, Michigan, but now I live on the other side of Lake Michigan in Madison, Wisconsin. I love to eat, travel, attend concerts, shows, music festivals. EDM is what I listen to the most. I’m a little headbanger, but I do enjoy all other genres as well. Every time I travel or adventure to some place new, I fall in love with the world and life even more. It’s nice to meet all the new faces and to meet familiar ones over again!

I created my blog instagram back in 2018 with the visions and goals of reviewing products, specifically posting EDM content and hopefully becoming an influencer. When the pandemic started, it became harder to be category specific because of everything shutting down. That’s when I created my WordPress blog SALLY♡THINGS where I had a place to post more of my personal experiences and thoughts, where I don’t have to be category specific and I could write novels if I wanted too. Along the way, I changed my end goals from influencer to blogger. I would like SALLY♡THINGS to be a brand/phrase/business that people hear and can put my face to it. I’m working on making it my creative space. I have many, many, many ideas of where I would like to go with it and I’m slowly working on making those ideas come to life. I’m not an influencer, I’m barely a blogger and not yet a business woman. I am a 26 year old figuring out life and trying to make her dreams come true!
Thank you for reading and thank you for all the support on everything I’ve posted and all the different social media adventures that I’ve had. Most importantly, thank you for the love and kindness! ♡

ps – I do have stickers made of my logo if you would like one or a few, I’d be more than happy to ship them out to you. Just send me a dm or email! I also haven’t been very active with posting lately, but I’m just trying to get my life together personally and work wise. Self care is important and it’s okay to cut some stuff out or put some things on pause to make more room and time ♡

Stepping Into Unknown Territory — The Truth.

What a time to be me. In a positive way, what a time to be me. I get to step into this unknown territory, this unknown area, an unknown place with these unknown feelings. I get to choose, feel, think, and speak for myself and only myself. I get to choose for myself without having to worry about putting someone else’s responsibilities first. I can finally put myself first.

It’s very new to me. I can’t think of a time where I was able to put myself first — like ever. That’s crazy right? I’ve put others before me — what feels like my entire life. Not anymore. So how does that make me feel? Honestly, it doesn’t feel right, it feels very off. I feel very selfish and somewhat empty. I felt fulfilled by being needed by others even if it drained me or held me back from what I could actually achieve. But hey, at least they still needed me, I am that much. I’m learning to understand that I am much more than that, but I also can be that person for others still. I’m learning to understand that I can put myself first and still take care of others, I just had my priorities backwards. It’s whats making this such a new territory for me. I had it wrong all along and I’m okay with admitting to that.

Who was I to be working three jobs to support not only myself, but three other people who were very much capable of taking care of themselves? Who was I to feel like such a disappointment when I couldn’t help pay bills for someone that made more than me with their one job verses my three? Who was I to feel like a failure for dropping out of school because people were throwing their responsibilities on me and I had no choice, but to take it all on? I can’t help but to feel rage and anger because it felt like I had no other choice. I also don’t want to hold onto those feelings because it’s so heavy and it’s so tiring to hold that hurt in your heart. I want to forgive.

Truth be told, I can finally think of goals for myself and actually work towards them. Before, I would come up with a goal, but I would always fail because I wasn’t my own first priority. I constantly failed at things because I put others before me and I let that eat me up. Eat me up to a point where I gave up on dreams and goals and adjusted living my life around everyone else’s schedules. I’m not entirely mad about it because I learned the lessons that came with, but it makes me sad to look back on sometimes. I poured my heart out and into everyone around me and left nothing for myself. Truth be told, even though I’m happy that I get to move forward and it’s exciting to see myself take these little steps, I have no idea what I’m doing. When you are so focused on others around you, you forget about yourself. I always knew how I wanted to end up in life, but I was never able to think about the details of how I would get there. It was like okay I’m at point A, I need to get to point C, but never thought of point B.

I know I have a lot of work to put forward and to put in. I know before I can fully enjoy what’s ahead of me, I have to learn to let this all stay behind me. Even though I felt a sense of fulfillment before, I have to unlearn it and go through this confusing emptiness. I have to be very cautious in what I do until I actually know what to do. Last thing I want is seeing myself fall into old ways again. This is the truth, this is my truth, this is me.

I Don’t Want To Let You Down, But I Got To Let You Know.

I don’t want to let you down, but I got to let you know that I’m trying my best even if it seems differently. I won’t be at the bestest best, but a very low best and that’s the best I can do right now. Things feel heavy and sometimes they get heavier. I’m currently at my lowest best. I know time has been going by and it seems like things haven’t changed or maybe it’s gotten a little worst, but know that at the end of the day I’ll still be okay. Even if it seems like all I ever feel is sad, stressed or want to cry, I’ll eventually be okay. Nobody wants to see the truth, but the truth is it’s not all rainbows and butterflies over here and it seems like it won’t be for a little while longer. Don’t feel like you can change things, it just has to run its course.

So with that being said, thank you. Thank you for the kind words and messages that I’ve received these past few months. I tried so hard to hide my struggles and sadness, but it made me feel even worse and tired. It’s okay to feel those feeling in front of others, there’s no shame. Everyone feels them. In a weird way, knowing that others can see the changes has help me accept what I’m going through and has helped validate my feelings. It makes me feel more like a person, a real person, a real person who is living a real life. Maybe somewhere along the way I’ve lost a sense of that. It’s been a weird and unusual two years.

I don’t want let you down, but I got to let you know I’m doing my best. I’m going to continue working on finding little joys and love in little things and celebrating the small little things. ♡

To The Little Girl.

To the little girl,

There’s so much that I could tell you, but where would I even begin? You’ve been through more than most and your experiences are a little more complicated. I’ll start with these few things and we’ll go as we uncover more inner child situations.

You’re confidence and genuine.

You probably think this is crazy coming from this age, but you were very confident in yourself. Probably more confident than you are now at the age of 26. You were never scared of going for what you want. Yes, shy, but you still went for whatever it was that you set your mind too. You are also very genuine and authentic to yourself even though you felt like you should change. People like who you are, the real you. It’s okay to stand out, it’s not a bad thing. I know being shy, but also always standing out was a conflicting inner mess. You naturally stood out no matter how hard you tried to fit in and be the same as everyone else. It just wasn’t you and you do learn how to embrace it later.

Everything thrown your way actually made you a better person.

Yep, that’s right. Everything that you went through no matter how hard it was, it changed you for the better. It gave you perspective and opened your mind. No matter how hurtful it was or how sad you felt, you managed to keep your heart open and full. I want to say thank you, thank you for being so strong and not giving up. I’ll say this over and over, but I’m so proud of you. I know you needed to hear those words more often.

I’m proud of you.

You cried many tears for many years wanting to hear those words. You felt like everyone was always wanting and expecting you to be exactly like older sissy. Nothing wrong with that because she’s super smart and has her life together, but it just isn’t the same fit for you. You think differently, you act differently, you view things differently. You both will have two very different lives that you’ll live and the best part of that is you’ll learn from each other. More than you would have if you were her exact copy, the copy everyone tried to hold you up to. You are your own person and having someone’s recognition of that would have saved you lots and lots of tears. You would have had that validation that you craved so badly. I’m sorry you still struggle with this, but it’s getting lighter and lighter.

I’m sorry that this is what sticks with you and is your biggest struggle. That it’s so hard for you to bring up or talk about without tearing up and shutting out. To the little girl, if I could go back in time I would go back to every time you cried over not feeling enough or recognized and give you the biggest hug. A hug that would heal the both of us cause well… it’s still something that comes up now from time to time. I’m proud of you though and I want you to know that others do feel the same way.

To the little girl,

I’m sorry you felt lack of affection and love. I’m sorry that it caused you to stay in relationships that weren’t the best for you because you didn’t know better. I’m sorry it caused you to hold on to something that wasn’t there or that you hoped it would show up later. There wasn’t anything that you could have done that would have changed it. There’s consequences to every decision made and it’s unavoidable. You made the best of what you could. The lack of affection and love is actually really common with first gen American born kids. It’s hard for not only you, but your parents too. They were adapting and learning a new way of life as well as having to raise kids and trying to heal from their own traumas.

I want to thank you.

I want to thank you for taking everything like a champ because without you, there would not be this current version of me. I could be coldhearted, shut everything and everyone out and hate the world around me, including everything in it. Instead, I care and love with all my heart and still have space to allow more things to care and love in. I know who I am, I know who we are. I will continue to live this way and I will continue to work on healing you.

To the little girl, without you there is no me.

2022.

It’s the new year, so what are my goals or new year resolutions? Well this year I’m not going to make any. Not that I don’t have any, but don’t you guys ever get stuck with a list that never gets finished or your goals change? In my 26 years of life, I know whatever list I make now will not be what I accomplish later. I’m more of a do as you go type of person. So here is all that I wish for me and for you. Take what you need and leave what you don’t.

I wish for your happiness and peace. I wish you heal the things that you do not speak or know. I wish for the growth and lessons that will push you to be a better person. I wish for the love that will forever stay with you. I wish you will take the bad days and remember that it’s just a bad day and that you don’t take all the good days for granted. I hope that you love yourself more and you do more for yourself. Whatever you’ve been trying to chase to fill that empty feeling, I hope you catch it and it lights a light in your soul that never goes out again. For all the tears that you cried in 2021, you don’t meet them again. I hope you remember to take more photos or videos. I wish for good health and wellness. That every person you come across is as genuine as you. You’ll get the break you need this year to sit down and absorb all that you have done and to relax. I wish you the best in your business plans because I know you’re capable and I know you have it in you. All your creative thoughts get brought to life this year. I hope you do take some things from last year and you keep working on them. Those are not achieved in just a year, it’s something you have to constantly work on for the rest of your life. That you do not forget who you are as a person. All the built up anger, I don’t want you to just let go of it and forgive, I want it to fuel the passion of making yourself better. Use it in a good way and not as a flamethrower and use it to burn others in words.
You know what? Settle in already, push your pride aside and accept what has been waiting for you. You could’ve had more good and balance if you were more open to accepting help. It’s okay to get help, you need other people, we all need people. I wish something clicks in you and you stop living on survival mode, you made it, you can rest. Let someone else take care of you for once. I wish you get the nurture you give to others and you accept it without feeling weak and if you end up feeling that way then you allow yourself to be okay with that. All the battles you have within are put to an end. I wish you live life for what it is and that you continue to do that. Love every little thing in the world more including yourself. ♡

Make your words matter this year.

Things Will Get Better.

It seems like I’ve been telling myself that a lot more often. Things will get better. Little end of the year update, I’m not doing that great, but that’s okay because it’s not the end of the world for me. I’m just a little more emotional and sensitive, so it feels a lot worse then what it really is. I know I can get through, but damn it really do be like this. There’s not much that I want to vent out right now because that is just a post of it’s own. *ahem, ahem* you’ll see it later and it’ll explain about 80% of why I’ve been sooooo like this. I just have my own demons that I need to deal with. Holiday season without my family is getting to me too. I didn’t think it would so much, but I miss the shit out of them. Back in Michigan, I wasn’t home much or barely saw my family, but at least I saw them. I don’t even get that now because I’m in another state. That’s been hard. What’s even harder is not seeing my friends on a daily basis like I did before. Now they are my everything. I honestly saw them more than my family. That’s what makes me sad the most, my friends aren’t with me. I know we’re friends forever and we’ll always be together, but you guys are my mf heart. My life feel less fulfilled without spending that time with you guys :’)

I’ve been trying to figure out what’s got me down bad and why I’m feeling more and more less of who I am. I built my personality off my friends in a way, who am I without them LOL. Sounds bad, but it’s true. I know who I am without them, but I like the version of me with them. She’s happy. I just do better around people and being social. My friends are truly inspiring and probably one of my biggest supports. Haters will say “well that’s why you have your bf too” yes, I do and I’m so lucky that I do, but look… I got some issues… and I need multiple validations from more than just one person. I lack the support and needs growing up, but I won’t get into that. That’s gonna be saved for my therapist. All I know is when I visit home, I feel like I thrive, I feel like me. I am me. Grand Rapids got my mf heart. BUT YOU KNOW, I made this choice and things will get better.

Sally, things will get better.

Forgiveness.

Forgiveness isn’t for the one you’re forgiving, it’s for you.

The Good Doctor

You think you know everything until you become an adult and realize that you actually don’t know shit. You think things will be easy, but then you start to feel emotions that you’ve never felt before. Everything hits you harder and has a deeper meaning bringing up childhood traumas and resentful feelings that you never knew you had. The only way to overcome them is to truly forgive.

Forgiveness isn’t for the one you’re forgiving, it’s for you.
Forgiving means to be at peace with it, within yourself. You can forgive a person all you want, but if you’re not at peace with it does it really matter? Does that even count as forgiveness or is it just half ass? You can be at peace with someone and avoid them, but you can’t avoid yourself. We carry around our emotions everywhere whether we like it or not. Forgiving people is not just for the other person(s), but for yourself.

It will take time and effort to forgive and to feel at peace, but once you do it’ll be worth so much and more. You need to run through the emotions in order to get there. You need to let your ego, pride, and anger go to let it take you through. Seems crazy, but to forgive you actually have to open yourself up even more. Forgiving is so vulnerable.

I hope that everyone (including myself) can open up and forgive whomever or whatever. Not only will we forgive them, but also forgive ourselves in the process. We’re adults, it’s time to heal in the most healthy ways. ♡