Tag: Thankful For

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! Happy turkey day! Happy gobble gobble day!
Thanksgiving is a day to give gratitude. I wanted to give my gratitude before spending the day with my family.

To SALLY♡THINGS readers & supporters: I wanted to thank all of the SALLY♡THINGS readers & supporters. I’m very thankful to have this group of support and love. It means more than you know. I’m very blessed to have supporters who inspire me, supporters who help me, supporters who listen and read my content, supporters who motivate me. It has not been a content filled year, but you’re all still here waiting for the next post. Thank you for being there for me, when I am not. ♡

To my friends: To my closet friends all the way to just regular friends, old friends and new. I could thank you over and over and over for the next million years. I have the most supportive friends. The love from my friends has saved me from many, many hopeless days. You help ground me, but also help me live more. You stop me from doing stupids things, but also help me do those stupid (but good) things. This year, I’ve gotten many random messages, tags, phone calls from lots of people that included check ins, random compliments, silly jokes, serious conversations, motivational quotes, memes, etc. They all helped me more than you will ever know. Thank you for taking time out of your life to be apart of mine.

To my family: Thank you for loving me the way you do. I am nothing without the love of my family. The times spent together is always the best. I promise that I will do better with being more present.

To love: Thank you for the time spent together. Thank you for the love, I will hold on to it. Our time spent together as a small unit is all I ever want out of life. I’m thankful to be able to grow with love.

To my work: Read the friends portion as well because it also applies. I’m at work almost 24/7, so I spend most of my days with all of you. I’m thankful for that, I have made new friends and reconnected with old ones, I have made real connections and had so many laughs, work is never boring. My position can be very stressful, but knowing that I have a great team really helps with that. We’ll get through it all together.

To me: I’m thankful for being able to feel, to be able to sit with myself, to be alive. I’m thankful for my life and I will always strive to live my best life. There’s many days where I hold love and pain in the same place and I still come out soft, understanding and loving. There’s so much more, but I can’t find the right words. I’m just thankful that I still have room to grow, heal, and love.

I will now stop being so mushy and start my last minute grocery shopping. I am making deviled eggs for the first time today, so let me get focused on that. Again, I’m very thankful for those in my life. Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!

Then and Now.

I probably have typed about this in the few blogs I wrote before, but never finished. Fair warning, be prepared to read a little more of this in other blogs if they ever get posted. So far it’s the only thing that comes to my mind when I try to sit down to blog, so it’s something that needs to get out and hopefully after I can blog about other things. I feel like a broken record sometimes. I blog a lot about healing and my journey, it’s all I know right now. It is currently what’s going on in my life. Then and now. I wouldn’t quite call this a drunk thoughts blog, but I did have a good chug of some strawberry sake. Just a bit to loosen up and be not so in my head about sharing this. I actually find it hard to share this side of me because it feels super and very vulnerable of me. Maybe a part of me feels embarrassed, maybe because it still gets me in my feels or that I haven’t yet fully processed it. It’s hard for me to express because I simply do not know where I’m quite at with it all. Whatever it is, here I try to go.

These summer months, I have really compared my current self to my 2023 self. If I could describe myself this summer it would be: confident, strong, happy, healing, thriving, joyful, sober, living life to the fullest, a normal person. If I were to describe summer Sally 2023 it would be: sad, but grateful, stressed, alcohol driven, burnt out, lost, fun, goal driven, and hurt. What two very different and confusing versions of me.

A word that best described me then is lost. A word that best describes me now is healing, but of course I would not be who I am today if it wasn’t for that lost version of me. Looking back I’m actually very grateful for that part of my life (not the problems, but the lessons) and very proud of how I managed, even though I was very hurt. I sat with myself every day and I listened to my cries, I listened to my thoughts, I felt the hurt. I sat with every emotion and let them take their turn. I sat with all my doubts and gave them the time they needed. I sat there and cried out every tear in my body almost every night until there was nothing left. Some people might think it’s pretty pathetic, but it was what I needed to do for me. That was my way of trying to comfort myself. I gave myself that safe space. Now, I still have that safe space, but it’s more for the appreciation of my happiness, celebration of small steps on my healing and the new self love that I have for myself. I won’t say I’m completely on the other side, but it’s definitely a positive path.

I did something that I never thought or saw myself doing and that was to stop engaging and going silent. I let go of any hope and expectation, I let go completely. That’s such a hard thing to do. To let things go free and to let things come to or go from you. I ignored and pushed everything away as much as I could until I realized that it was something that was trying to come to me. I really crawled into my own little shell and if you weren’t someone I saw in my daily life, I unfortunately didn’t reach out to or interacted with for a bit. My social battery was fighting so hard, but my emotional side won. I’m a person who tries to act fine when I’m not, but in reality my emotions literally leak out of my pores and you can tell how I am through my body language and facial expressions. I pulled away for a bit so people didn’t have to see that side of me, ask me anything and I didn’t have to keep pretending. I’m sorry to my friends and family for that and I’m also very thankful that everyone understood that I needed some space. I put myself first and really focused on nothing, but myself and moving forward. One positive that did come out of it was my decision on schooling. Now, because of then, I still am continuing my education and I feel more comfortable with being truly vulnerable in front of others even if I feel stupid. It is not a burden. Now, I can thank the ‘then me’ and comfort any part of her that I still have left with the ‘now me’.

One thing that I learned from this and in my therapy sessions are to acknowledge all these different parts of me, listen to what they need to say, validate them and thank them. Practicing this has helped build a better relationship within myself with myself. Practicing this has allowed to me forgive myself, love all the different parts of myself, remember my worth, remember what I deserve, growth, healing, forgiving others and most importantly not to hurt others because of my own hurt. One day, I’ll be at the end with the rainbows and unicorns or in my case, a room filled with anything and everything Hello Kitty.

This was really building up in my head and I tried to avoid blogging more on it, but I guess I still have a lot to say. If you are still reading this, thank you. Sending lots of love out. Then and Now. ♡

What It’s Like Going Back to School at 28.

Am I crazy? Slightly. Did you read that right? Yes. I decided to go back to college this semester at the age of 28. The last time I had classes was back in 2014/2015, so 8-9 years ago. Life got in the way and I really wasn’t ready back then. I’ve been wanting to go back, but timing wasn’t right or it didn’t feel right to me. How I feel about something is very important for me. This time around, things fell into place and I was able to sign up and get back into it. I’m happy that I’m back in school and excited to see what’s to come from it.

So what’s it like to be back?
While it feels like I haven’t left and majority of things look the same, many things have actually changed. My professors from back then are still here, but they have aged. It’s weird cause I feel like I went time traveling to the future. The student IDs are different colors and now have more use for things, I got mine replaced to the new one and the person taking my picture said, “Wow, welcome back it must be a while for you. I haven’t seen the all blue IDs in a while.” How embarrassing that was LOL. The parking student rates have gone up and boy does that make me sad, but happy cause I’m only on campus 2 times a week. I also just feel sooo old in my classes. Majority of my peers are 18-20. I’ve interacted with some classmates in group projects and we’ll get to know each other with little questions and they all get so shocked when I tell them my age. It’s always the same reaction too, “No way! You look so good and young for 28!” Thank you for that compliment though, I’m starting to appreciate it more. ♡ I’m also meeting others who are older than me, that are coming back to school just like me. Having that in common has been very motivating for me and reminds me to not be too hard on myself for starting over again.

How are you feeling about it all?
Well it’s been very emotional for me for sure. It’s been 3 weeks already and on the first day I was 15 mins late and I skipped one class lecture already. The enrollment period before was pretty stressful for me already. It’s been a while since I’ve been in school, so some of my credits that I earned when I first went no longer exists. I have to pretty much take some of same classes over again to get the credit again, which sucks. School was a hard topic for me to talk about before and even now at times because of how my first year went. It wasn’t ideal and I didn’t feel supported back then. Those feelings come through still from time to time and I can get very discouraged and less motivated. Have I already thought of dropping out? YES, plenty of times already. I did have someone who was my #1 supporter and they helped me talk about and through my worries about school, someone who was always there for me. I ended up starting this semester without them. It’s heartbreaking to lose someone who was so proud and believed in you and I’m still trying to adjust with that. Besides those feels, mainly I’ve been excited and motivated. I am proud of myself for taking this step again and trying again. I’m happy with my decision of going back and ready to see what’s to come with it. I’m happy that I get the opportunity to change up my daily routine and change my environment. It’s something that I needed to do for myself.

I’m here to let anyone else that’s looking to go back to school, whether you’re older, younger, haven’t gone yet, or dropped out that you can do it. You’re not alone and you definitely don’t have to think negative about yourself about it. Whatever your story was before, it’s not going to be your story this time around. Take your time, go your own pace, don’t listen to those who bash others. You have your own journey to go through. Most importantly YOU got this!

This won’t be the last blog about school and I’m hoping to be able to post about getting my degree when the time comes around. Whenever that will be. I’m in no rush right now and enjoying the ride. I’m happy for this new start and I’ll see everyone at the end. ♡

Drunk Thoughts: More Like Just a Few Glasses of Wine.

For those who “want the tea”, this is MY blog. Let me set everything now.

I don’t know if I would consider this as ‘drunks thoughts’ because honestly I’m not drunk. I don’t even feel tipsy, I have just had a few (four, yes four) glasses of wine. If you have seen me lately, you know it doesn’t have ton of affect on me anymore, BUT I am still under the influence. It can still count right? Anyways, let’s do a check in.

It’s been a while since I’ve written or posted a blog. September 8 to be exact and today is November 8, so 2 months exactly. Yes, I took some time to myself and I took time for me to figure out what my life is going to be like and then I went through some things and I needed to figure out where I was going to be. I’ve hid, I’ve disappeared, I’ve acted crazy, I’ve joked around, I went through these crazy ups and downs, I’ve made mistakes, I’ve loved while being broken, I’ve been dealing with this broken version of me. I’ve done everything during those two months to present time. I was someone who I did not want to be, I was someone who I wanted to be and I was someone who I didn’t think I would become. To this day I’m still going through the motions and trying to become someone who just understands that I did what I could. It just wasn’t it. That’s the hardest part of it all, I want to blame myself for everything when it has nothing to do with my actions.

I still have a long way to go with everything. I know it’s going to be journey of ups and down, but at the end I just need to focus on me and my wellbeing. I have to be selfish right now and that’s very new to me. I would also like to ask everyone if they can respect my boundaries. I don’t want to hear or know of anything. I think I’ve heard enough already and that was more than what I could handle… If you have any words of wisdom or encouragement for myself, I’ll be more than willing to accept that instead. There’s still so much love coming and pouring out from me and that love will continue be there for a long time, just respect my boundaries.

I’m not proud of some of the things I’ve succumbed too. I’m not proud of the actions I’ve taken or some of the words I’ve said, but I do understand that I acted out because of how I felt emotionally and I would like to make a public apology. It ended up spilling out to more parties than just the one.
I’m sorry. I know that if I was on that receiving side, I would have been livid or annoyed even if it was “understandable”. I hold myself accountable, that is not the person I think that I am nor wish to be. I let the worst get to me and I let what I’ve been trying to heal break. I know I apologized before, but I hope this reaches to those who it effected.

For those who “want the tea”, this is MY blog and this is what you get out of me. I’ll get what I deserve, they’ll get what they deserve and you’ll get what you deserve whether it’s good or bad. At this point please forget about me and leave all that negativity behind. I’m not fighting you or fighting for anyone or anything, but myself. I’ve removed myself a few months now, your problem is who you have been fighting with me for. Take it up with them, I wasn’t the one to begin with and definitely not the one now.
Maybe take it up with yourself and finally hold yourself accountable. Stop lying to yourself and find peace within you. Hurt people hurt other people and like you, I need to find my way through too.

This is my piece and I acknowledge it’ll get passed around. I get to be selfish now, so please pass it around whether it’s with pure intentions or ill intentions.

Here’s my truth.

So Much To Be Thankful For.

Even though this year has been so odd, strange and honestly maybe the worse year on the bigger level scale, there’s so much to still be thankful for. The month of November I feel always brings out what we’re thankful for not only on Thanksgiving, but for the entire month and rest of the year. Here are some things that I’m super thankful for.

» My Friendships. I really don’t know what or how I could have made it through this year without all my friends. From pre-pandemic to the present, they have been the best. I would say my friends are already pretty amazing, but wow they really went beyond that for not only me, but everyone else too. There’s more facetime calls, more groups chats, video chats, discord channels, more supporting each other’s art or new hobbies, just more presence in each other’s lives even if it is just a text or phone call. All of my friends have sent a random check in text to me and honestly that’s just all love.

» My Family. The health of my family is very important to me and I’m thankful for what this year has brought to us. If it means that I see them less this year, but everyone remains in good health, then so be it. I’ll take it. Just like my friends, there has been a bigger presence with my family too. It’s crazy how that is when we are literally being restricted. Also, my oldest niece has more technology use and I love getting random messages from her or video calls. The time taken away definitely makes you appreciate the smaller ways of communication that we all have just taken advantage of.

» My Boyfriend and His Family. The weekend before things started closing down and quarantine was official in March, I was suppose to go to Chicago for a Slander show. The show got canceled, but I still had the weekend off, so I decided that instead I would just go over to Wisconsin for the weekend. Well as the virus got bad and more rules and regulations were made, my weekend turned into a week into three months. I spent three whole months in Wisconsin with my boyfriend and his family and I couldn’t be more grateful for how welcoming they were and still are. I had some really warm hearted conversations at the dinner table and it really felt like my home away from home. If it wasn’t for the quarantine, I would have never been able to experience all of it. Plus, the bond with my little Mr. Sweetface grew to a different level and I’m oh-so-so-soo grateful for that, he’s literally my best friend when I’m over there now. It was a taste of my future and I can’t wait for it. They are my home away from home.

» Myself and My Journey. Yes, the time away from work was so needed for me. I had to find a way to rebalance myself and get myself together again. My life should not be revolved around my job. It was rough and I’m still trying to adjust now, but I’m more at ease and I’m happy with what I did with all that time. I’m thankful for my journey through all of this because I have learned and grown so much. I’m actually taking the time for me. I got the help that I needed desperately, but just couldn’t get around too. I was very much in my lows and in my highs, but I pulled myself out of it, I did that. It’s a very strange feeling to think about yourself and to care for yourself when all you want to do is do that for others. In all my relationships, the presence of one another has increased and that is no different for myself. I am finally here for me as well.

For others, covid has been a nuisance and a nightmare, but it’s been a blessing in disguise for me. For how weird that is to say. We all have something to be thankful for though, so let’s keep that energy going. Stay safe everyone!

SALLY ♡ T