What you’re looking for is pure. What you want is gentle and soft even when everything becomes fragile and hard. Someone who will love the moonlight that makes you, more than your sunlight that makes others. Someone who will love your messy days and will love you more after. Someone who knows your flaws as well as they know your perfections. Someone that will take on some of your frustrations and stress with you because they can see it’s taking something away from you. Someone who wants to lessen the weight on your soul. They’ll know how to love you in all the ways you didn’t. They’ll love you in every way that you hoped. Someone who will choose you on bad days just as much as on good days. Everything you feel is your imperfections will be everything they view as your perfections. Being around them will just make you feel in balance.
I came across this channel on Youtube called Jubilee and watched quite a few of their videos and it really got me thinking about my answers and opinions as well. There’s different episodes, but in each they bring in a group of people of the same or different race or people who believe in this or that and ask them questions. The group of people then stand on a scale of strongly disagree to strongly agree or sit down if they agree with said statement and just talk it out with one another. It’s such a nice safe space for these people to get their opinions or experiences out there about general topics or about those hard topics that most will stay quiet about. Maybe this will become a new blog series that I’ll continue to write about or not, but I just wanted to share where I am with this video called “Do All Asian Americans Think the Same?” | Spectrum (the video is at the bottom of the blog)
I think it’s great to watch videos like these especially with how society has been. A lot has happened within the last few decades, let alone the last 4 years. It’s time to start having these deeper conversations or just more conversations in general. I’m starting off with this video because I do identify with Asian American, I’m Vietnamese and American born. For me, it’s not like I have forgotten my cultural traditions or values, but I don’t really discuss them enough. So I’ll take some questions or statements from the video and discuss it. Just want to remind everyone that I am not the spokesperson for the whole community or race or the people that I hang out with! This is just me.
I have felt pressure to date within my own race. Luckily, my parents have never put that idea onto me. They have mentioned it a couple of times, but they always made it known that it’s okay if I don’t. They don’t have a preference on another race either, so I was allowed to date whoever. Now when it comes to outside my family, like within the Vietnamese community here, I do feel the pressure. Weird right? Well I’ve gone to the Viet supermarkets, stores, hair salons, or nail salons and they’ll always ask me who I’m dating and what race they are, then make some comments like “oh, he’s not Vietnamese, why not? You need to find a Viet guy and keep the culture alive.” I disagree with that so much. I can still keep my culture alive still with whoever I’m with, it’s not passed down through blood, but through teachings. Asian stereotypes are funny. I think this is kind of a broad statement and you’ll see why, but my answer is yes and no. I have a lot to say about this. So asian stereotypes put on the asian group by non-asian are not funny at all. The typical asians are good at math, asians are bad drivers, asians have chinky eyes, asians eat dogs/cats etc. are just so outplayed, it’s not true for everyone. Stereotypes have a big influence in judging certain groups of people and most times they are negative. I think when I wasn’t up to par with some of those stereotypes, people I went to school with who were non-asians wouldn’t judge me differently, but they wouldn’t identify me as asian or downplay that I was asian. I heard a lot of “oh Sally, you’re not THAT asian” or “omg, you don’t like to watch anime or make boba? I’m more asian than you.” Which actually did hurt my feelings and made me feel a type of way, but I didn’t know how to correctly speak about it back in high school, so I would just agree with them. Now if it’s my asian friends and I talking about stereotypes within our different asian races, then they can be funny, but that’s because they aren’t so negative or downplaying their identities. Big emphasis on CAN BE FUNNY though. I do want to point out that a lot of asian stereotypes are positive compared to other races and the stereotypes that are put on them. Asian people have it easier than other minorities. I would have to agree with that statement. I do think that asian people have it easier than other minorities even within the last few years and with covid happening. Yes, it’s very unfortunate and sad that covid has brought out more racism towards asians and it breaks my heart to see. Yes, we asians still have it harder than some minorities, but bigger picture we do have it easier. What asians are experiencing with covid, others have been experiencing for decades and on a more worst scale. Stereotypes on asians are also easier on asians, the “popular” stereotypes are majority positive. The reality of it is, asian minorities are more accepted in the United States with white people and I think it’s because of the history between the two and that asians have conformed with the American way. I don’t know how to really explain it, but I can see it or have experienced it personally. I do think Americans use Asians to their advantage sometimes to compare to other minorities or for other uses, when it’s good for them if that makes any sense.
Like I said earlier I do not represent a whole community or other people, but myself. I am up to having more in depth conversations and hearing other opinions, so feel free to comment or contact me. I want this to be a safe space of free discussion. I do not tolerate hate or racism though, so please don’t come around with that. Give me feedback on if I should do more post like this. Watch the video below and the others on their channel! Keep conversations going with the people around you.
You don’t have to carry the burdens of others, you don’t even have to carry others. Let it go. Release that way of thinking, that way of “caring”. It’s one of those things where it helps one person out, but takes down the other and the other is you. It’s a pattern that you can get easily suck back into.
Dear ST, You tend to find yourself here way too often. You don’t need to take things on that aren’t yours. You don’t need to emotionally wreck yourself for the sake of others. You can empathize and feel sympathy for them, but you absolutely do not need to carry it for them. Let them have it. You can’t save everyone, you can’t save everyone, you can’t save everyone. Create this boundary, create a line, create something that will allow you to just walk away. With the things that you have carried in the past, it’s time to unpack and let them run back to who they belong. I know you did it out of your big ass heart and that’s great that you can care so much for people in that way, but you can still show that without sacrificing yourself. For those that you still need to heal from, confront it, confront t h e m. Give that to yourself. Not everything was bad to take on, sometimes others do need that burden to be lifted off of them for a bit to find their way, but just remember it’s not the case with all of them. We want the best for others, but you need to include yourself into that too. We’re finding ways to cope and heal this year, we’re finding new ways to improve, and to feel comfortable with being comfortable. “The waves are farther apart.”
food, Food, FOOD! I really wish I could eat more, so we could’ve gone to more food places in Miami! Everything looked cool and super yummy. There’s definitely going to be future trips to Miami to try all the other spots that I had on my list. Until then, enjoy these places! As I’m typing this post, I realized that we actually went to a lot of places, so this is a longer food post hehe.
The first restaurant that we went to was located in the Lincoln Road Mall called La Cerveceria De Barrio. Coming from the snowy and cold midwest, dining outside surrounded by palm trees was just what we needed. We took advantage of outdoor seating the whole trip. I don’t remember exactly what we got to eat, but the food was pretty good. I do remember the drink though haha. I ordered a lychee margarita and it was a very interesting mix. I’m not really sure if I like lychee flavor mixed with tequila though, I don’t really drink too much tequila to begin with. The drink smelled really good and I definitely felt a buzz from the drink.
On our walk back, we decided to grab some dessert from Icy-N-Spicy. Go check out their instagram when you have the chance, they have super fun and big desserts! I don’t remember the last time I had that much sugar in one sitting. We got the cotton candy + 2 scoops + 1 topping combo. The two flavors that we got for the ice cream was cookie monster and banana dulce leche with ferrero rochers chocolate as the topping. Both ice cream flavors were super good, but my favorite was the banana dulce leche. We didn’t have the option of picking our own flavored cones, but they had some pretty cool flavors like matcha and red velvet. This will be on my list of places to go back too, soooo many more desserts to try from them!
The first morning in Miami, our airbnb host recommended Pura Vida. It was super close and walking distance, so we decided to give it a try. We ordered the Blue Majik acai bowl with an Immune Booster juice shots. Our bowl consisted of blue spirulina blended with passionfruit, banana, pineapple, almond milk, chia seed, topped with vegan granola, shaved coconut and blueberries. We also picked up a fresh coconut to drink from! Smoothie/acai bowls are always so yummy and I really enjoy the taste of immune booster shots. It’s both fruity and spicy, plus it gives me that feeling of me actually taking care and doing something good for my body.
Now my FAVORITE dining experience ever. I booked a table for us at Gianni’s at the Former Versace Mansion, the Villa Casa Casuarina. I can’t even explain how exciting that was for me. I would have never thought that I would be dining in a mansion, let alone Gianni Versace’s mansion. One day, I’ll be able to afford to book a suite there and experience the rest of the mansion. It is a beautiful house and there’s so much details in the design and architecture everywhere. Our table was right by the pool outside and you didn’t even notice or hear any noise from anything beyond the walls, you literally just forget that you’re at South Beach Miami and in this other world.
So for our appetizers, we got the Gianni’s Salad and the Kobe Beef Carpaccio. The Kobe Beef was very tender and so easy to pull apart, the salad was perfect and light with the lemon dressing. For the main entree, we ordered the Spinach & Ricotta Ravioli and the Chicken Scallopini. Both entrees were delicious and then for dessert we both got the Sorbet. Now the sorbet was my favorite dish, the flavor was a creamy coconut. Probably the best coconut ice cream or sorbet that I have ever had. I would eat it all day if I could. For drinks, I ordered Versace Nero D’Avola IGT, a red wine and my boyfriend got the Coco Casuarina cocktail. Another great coconut food item we had on the trip! I would definitely go back to Gianni’s to try the rest of the food and just for the atmosphere itself. Keep in mind that it was fine dining, so portions are small. I don’t eat much, so it was the perfect amount for me haha.
You thought I was done? Nope there’s still a few more places to go! So we ate pretty good the day of the mansion, summer bodies were not in mind at all because we went to Cajun Boil for dinner. The size of the seafood in Florida will always beat the midwest, it’s a must to get seafood in a bag when down south! We had our first seafood boil together in Orlando back in 2019 and have tried every place we could find ever since then and nothing beats the quality in Florida. I would say Cajun Boil is my second favorite place so far. (King Cajun Crawfish Orlando will forever be my favorite.) This place was pretty good, so we actually had dinner here again the next day LOL.
So between the two dinners that we had here, the flavor and spice levels were pretty inconsistent. On the first day, it was so flavorful and we ordered a medium spice level that had our nose running as we ate, but the second day it wasn’t as flavorful and we ordered a level up ‘spicy‘ and that wasn’t even as spicy as the day before. It was still good though, don’t get me wrong. The sauce wasn’t just all butter and oil, it was an actual sauce called the ultimate sauce. The first day we got combo #6 including 1/2 Lb shrimp & 1 Lb clam & 1/2 lb snow crab & 1 lobster tail. The table next to us ordered the pound of Alaskan Snow Crab, so the second day we ordered that with a combo #2 including 1 lb Crawfish & 1 lb Shrimp & 1 Fresh Maine Lobster.
After seafood, we decided to walk on Ocean Drive again for dessert and drinks to end the night. I’ve always seen things on social media about those nitro dragon breath bite things and there a spot called Nitro Dragons, so we grabbed some to try. To be pretty honest, I was pretty disappointed in it. First, I thought it would be more like ice cream bites or like crunchy flavored ice things, but they’re more like cheese balls that taste like captain crunch and they taste stale once they stop steaming. I would say overrated, first and last time eating those.
We went over to Sugar Factory for drinks and a small french fries snack. Of course we had to get their popular 60 oz. glass bowl. On my 21st birthday, I had a big bowl to myself, finished only half of it and had to take a fat midday nap because I was so drunk, so I wanted to share one this time just incase I wouldn’t be able to walk back to our place. My alcohol tolerance is so much higher now though, I’m sure I can handle a whole bowl to myself this time. The flavor that we got was The Watermelon Patch and fun fact: the Watermelon Patch was actually designed by Pitbull. So thank you Pitbull for that! (We also grabbed a slice of pizza on the walk back and fell into a deep food coma sleep)
Our last full day in Miami was an adventure day, so for lunch we grabbed a quick slice of pizza and hotdogs from places we passed walking around in Wynwood. After our activities, we got some Taiyaki Ice Cream from Taiyaki NYC located inside 1-800 LUCKY. If we weren’t so full from the day before and saving room for another seafood boil dinner, I would’ve tried the ramen or other asian foods from the other restaurants located there too! It was such a vibe there, I could’ve stayed there all day and just ate listening to the music. Imagine a beer garden with asian influence. It’s a place that we’ll definitely go back to try out. We got the Cafe Con Leche and the Matcha Made in Heaven Taiyaki flavors.
Just writing and looking at all the pictures again made my mouth just water. So much good food and that wasn’t even all the places that I wanted to try! Most of the time I find food places through instagram, but this time I literally just googled best _____ in Miami and found tons of options. It’s honestly the best part about planning and going on trips, the food! Expect another food blog post from Miami with new locations later on, until then I’m going to train to eat more. HAHA. Should I make a post about where we visited in Miami? Let me know! Stay safe everyone and warm if you’re in a snowy winter season like me! xoxo♡
Another giveaway? Y E S ! ! ! I have another giveaway for you guys. Not only is December about giving, but also reflecting and I decided to really run it hard. This year has been so hectic in the weirdest ways that it’s been kind of hard to take all of it in. Can you believe that 3 months from now it’ll be 1 year since quarantine? Yeah, me either! Let’s just sit back in our sweats and take a breather. I lived in comfortable clothing all year, so I wanted to give ONE lucky winner a black reflective hoodie from Lethal (size adult large).
Lethal is a local clothing brand here in Grand Rapids, MI and started by one of my friends! Go ahead and check their Instagram out to see other merch available. No, this is not a paid promotion, I just love supporting friends, local businesses and artist! You know I had to show some love. This hoodie is super comfortable and I really like the simple reflective logo on it. I just love anything reflective! You can visit there website by clicking here! How to enter: 1) Follow both pages on Instagram @sally.things & @official_lethal 2) Like my Instagram post 3) Tag your friends in the comments! 4) Extra multiple entries by sharing on your story, Facebook and retweet on Twitter! (Fb page: @sally.things / Twitter: @xostran)
I will be making sure you do the first 3 steps to be counted! The winner will be chosen next week Tuesday, January 5th! I will post the winner & contact them via DM. US only.
Yes you read that right, I’m doing my first giveaway ever! December is not only for reflections, but also about giving. Christmas is my 2nd favorite holiday (next to Valentine’s Day) and I love giving presents and gifts!2020 has been a year and one thing that it has taught me is to focus on myself more and that includes a lot of self-care. Take that time for yourself, take the energy that you put into other people and put it towards yourself. I mean they are right when they say there is only one you.
For this giveaway, the lucky SEVEN WINNERS will receive an Ipsy bags with 6-7 sample and full sized beauty products that they can self-care with! There’s items like, eyeshadows, bronzers, highlighters, mascaras, facial products and more! How to enter is super easy too!!! 1) Follow @sally.things on Instagram 2) Like the giveaway post, link here 3) Tag your friends in the comment 4) Sharing the post on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter will also be an extra entry! (Facebook page: @sally.things / Twitter: @xostran)
The 7 winners will be chosen next week Wednesday, December 23,2020! I’ll be posting the winners on my story and contacting them via Instagram DM. I’ll also update this post with the winners as well. US residents only. *This is not a paid partnership with Ipsy or affiliate.*
Hope everyone stays safe for the holiday and has a good one! Can’t wait to see the winners and look out for another giveaway coming soon!
It is now December, for me the month of reflection. I usually try to do monthly reflections so I can pin point an area that I still want to work on for the next month, but with this year all of that went to trash. It was all over the place and no month was ever the same. 2020 has opened myself up to my own self about things I’ve never paid attention about or thought was a problem. 2020 has challenged me in many different ways in every aspect of my life. Really, 2020 got me f u c k e d u p. Just kidding, 2020 has brought what I needed heal about myself in plain sight and it’s a lot more than you think. You guessed it, a new series. Welcome to Biggest Challenges of 2020.
BY MYSELF. Surprise! I do terrible being by myself or alone. I actually don’t like too much me time or doing things by myself. It’s the weirdest thing because I do consider myself as a pretty independent person. I’ll do what I need to do by myself, but I would much rather have some sort of company with me. I’ve been trying so hard this year with getting more comfortable with being alone by myself and trying to learn how to enjoy my own company. I grew up with three siblings and basically all my nieces, so yeah there was never a time where I was truly by myself. Not until a few years ago, but around then I still had Koko with me.
Living in a pandemic, where you should stay home – yeah, not ideal for someone who feels the same as me. I still find myself adjusting to not having my little Koko around me and I lost her almost two years ago. She didn’t need me as much as I needed her. (another story, another time) I get too much into my head, so having others around even if it’s just my brother’s cat napping next to me. It gets me out of my head. It’s like I’m a codependent-independent person and those two people/personalities don’t mix very well. I would like to be able to go to places by myself without having to talk myself into going. Just decide where and when, get up, get ready, and go.
I’ve been challenging myself to stay home and kind of forcing myself to being alone for two weeks now, but you know, you have your good days and your bad ones. This is probably the one of the hardest things that I’ve tried to achieve yet. Thankfully I do have the support of loved ones, friends, and my therapist. Although any other advice on how to feel more comfortable with your own company is highly and hugely appreciated. ♡ I have a feeling that this one will be something that will be a little harder to overcome.
Although would like to say this was part of the Drunk Thoughts series, it’s not. I actually sobered up from my drinking and just typing my feelings out at 4 AM. Here we are again, the heavy feeling. It all comes rushing back.
Just when things seem so great, it all comes rushing back. You can’t do anything about it, but to deal with it. That part I’m not so great with. How do you know you’re making progress? How do you know you’re getting through it instead of pushing it aside? Am I really putting my needs first?
I don’t doubt or second guess my decisions, but I do doubt where I should be or think I shouldn’t let shit bother me like it does. Why do I still get these nasty little reminders and why do they still hurt me just as much? Sometimes I get so far, just for a reminder to remind me that I actually am not. I actually haven’t even gone anywhere, like I’m just stuck in the cycle.
I go on with my day with a little bit of a heavy heart sometimes and I just push through, but what if one day I don’t have the strength for it? What can I do then? The last thing I want to do is let it consume my emotions and dwell. I’ve done that so many times and had that time already. You know, people carry a lot on their shoulders, they carry a lot on their backs. Not everyone is as happy as they seem. I hope my peace finds me, I really hope soon.
Be kind to others, be respectful, or just leave them alone. Leave things be and let it happen.
“But now I know you can’t change the past, way too young to know the reason why and it all comes rushing back, rushing back.”
Hi, hello. Yes, welcome to drunk thoughts number 2 post. This topic actually came from an Instagram question poll thing and my friend came up with this prompt. To let you know how drunk I am, I drank 4 shots and 2-3 glasses of wine before this and can’t sleep without getting the spins. So I’m going to write a blog to try to sober up enough to sleep LOL. So I’m pretty lit. If this blog post ends up half ass, I’m sorry, I’m drunk lol.
So this suggested topic stood out to me because everyone usually asks “what would you tell your younger self?”, while this was the opposite, “What would your older self tell you or think about you?” Honestly my older self will love all these memories that I’m making and will love her 20’s, good and bad moments. I will regret some things, but nothing I’ll beat myself over with. I think I’m doing what anybody in their 20’s should and that just to live and experience life in whatever way works for them. What I do now, will be told to my kids and grandkids and I wouldn’t be ashamed. If they can learn from my mistakes, LOVE IT. Just like this blog, if it helps you in anyway, perfect. I did my job. I made someone one step closer to who they are or helped them through something that they were struggling with. I’m such a helper and people person, I hate it sometimes LOL.
I think my older self would tell me to stop being so up right and find a job that better suits me. Manager restaurant life is not it, especially during this pandemic. I’m pretty tired, if I didn’t feel and see the spins when I closed my eyes, I would be sleeping by now. But boohoo. It’s fine, everything’s fine.
SALLY ♡ T
* I’ll write about this topic when I’m sober too lol
When your heart feels heavy what do you do? When you start to feel it take over, why can’t we just snap out of it? I just continue to stand or sit there and I can’t move, I can’t think about anything else. My eyes become waterfalls. It’s not until then when I can try to make myself feel better. Where I can try to talk myself down and away from whatever dark place I went too. What can you do when your heart feels heavy?
It just happens sometimes. There’s no way around it. You just have to live with it. What a tragic feeling to feel honestly. A heavy heart, a heavy weight. A tragic feeling to feel when you least expect it. It creeps up on me all the time. I can be at my happiest or feel like i’m finally at peace with myself and then it comes. A constant reminder of things I don’t want to remember, of things I tried to block out, of things I tried to drink away. Why do I have to relive the sadness? I really don’t understand why I remember any of it. They say “Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger,” but it pretty much kills me in the inside every time. So when your heart feels heavy, what do you do?
SALLY♡THINGS 