Tag: My Life

2022.

It’s the new year, so what are my goals or new year resolutions? Well this year I’m not going to make any. Not that I don’t have any, but don’t you guys ever get stuck with a list that never gets finished or your goals change? In my 26 years of life, I know whatever list I make now will not be what I accomplish later. I’m more of a do as you go type of person. So here is all that I wish for me and for you. Take what you need and leave what you don’t.

I wish for your happiness and peace. I wish you heal the things that you do not speak or know. I wish for the growth and lessons that will push you to be a better person. I wish for the love that will forever stay with you. I wish you will take the bad days and remember that it’s just a bad day and that you don’t take all the good days for granted. I hope that you love yourself more and you do more for yourself. Whatever you’ve been trying to chase to fill that empty feeling, I hope you catch it and it lights a light in your soul that never goes out again. For all the tears that you cried in 2021, you don’t meet them again. I hope you remember to take more photos or videos. I wish for good health and wellness. That every person you come across is as genuine as you. You’ll get the break you need this year to sit down and absorb all that you have done and to relax. I wish you the best in your business plans because I know you’re capable and I know you have it in you. All your creative thoughts get brought to life this year. I hope you do take some things from last year and you keep working on them. Those are not achieved in just a year, it’s something you have to constantly work on for the rest of your life. That you do not forget who you are as a person. All the built up anger, I don’t want you to just let go of it and forgive, I want it to fuel the passion of making yourself better. Use it in a good way and not as a flamethrower and use it to burn others in words.
You know what? Settle in already, push your pride aside and accept what has been waiting for you. You could’ve had more good and balance if you were more open to accepting help. It’s okay to get help, you need other people, we all need people. I wish something clicks in you and you stop living on survival mode, you made it, you can rest. Let someone else take care of you for once. I wish you get the nurture you give to others and you accept it without feeling weak and if you end up feeling that way then you allow yourself to be okay with that. All the battles you have within are put to an end. I wish you live life for what it is and that you continue to do that. Love every little thing in the world more including yourself. ♡

Make your words matter this year.

A Girl and Her Honey Citrus Mint Tea.

It’s that time of year again where the leaves start to change, then it starts to get cold and snow. The daylight hours are almost non existent unless you’re a morning person and Starbucks is killing the holiday drink game. Which also means it’s that time of year where I somehow get a cold and all I drink is the Honey Citrus Mint Tea. So here I am, sitting, writing and sipping on some tea.

This first half of winter is beating me up. Boy I’ve been struggling, but I’m getting through. These last few days of 2021 are big reflection days for me. Just going over how my year was, what I wish I would have done differently and what I did that was best for me. I can say I don’t have much regrets at all, but I could have done more for myself. A lesson that I’ll forever be learning. I’ve done a lot and got through a lot this year, so I’m going to take this moment to congratulate and celebrate because damn it was emotional! All the different feelings that I had this year was way beyond any other years. Sally, take another sip of your Honey Citrus Mint Tea cause you deserve it. You did it.

Some highlights of 2021: I was a manager of an hibachi restaurant during the constant changing covid restrictions era. That in itself is a huge accomplishment. I was able to work with my old manager for a month before moving and I adore working with her and just adore her! I was surprised with a going away party from my Sakura family and I cried my little heart out. I love them so much and miss working with them tons ♡ They’re like family to me. I worked there for 4 years with most of them. They saw every bad and good day that I had, they went through and helped me go through all of my early and mid 20’s crisis. I will never forget my last day there because of everyone!

To all the traveling and trips done in 2021, CHEERS! I had an excellent year in food and adventure. I fell in love with views over and over again, I found things that brought out happiness in me that I wouldn’t get if I stayed home. I ate at the Versace mansion which is still so surreal to me! Traveling brings out the best of me and also the fun side LOL If you saw me in Miami, I’m still wondering where that Sally came from, I want her back. I will not stop traveling, it feeds my soul.

My going away party thrown by my friends. That is a huge highlight of 2021, one that I hold so close. You don’t really know how much you’re loved until it’s shown to you. I’m so blessed that I have all these people in my life that enjoy my company as much as I enjoy theirs. It isn’t the last time that we were all going to be together, but that would be it for a while. They give me so much support all the time even with the distance and for that I am truly truly grateful.

My move! Sheeeeeeeeesh it’s been a ride. I moved in April of 2021 to Wisconsin and I still call soda “Pop” and “ope, let me squeeze right past ya” I’m still that Michigan girl. Moving really tested me and I would be lying if I said that I’m fully settled in now cause truth is I’m not, but that’s okay. I’m enjoying it and I’ve met a lot of great people that I consider my really close friends. My boyfriend deserves a huge thank you for being with me every step of the way and helping me make sure I make it as close to home as possible. He is my home guys hehe ♡ The whole summer is a highlight though. All the trips, events, drinking… ya’ll are wild, but a fun wild. Everyone needs to get crazy to survive this crazy world anyways. Thanks to Wisconsin my alcohol tolerance went up HAHA No, but I’m thankful that I get to call Wisconsin my second home, that I get to spend everyday in love with my love and that I’m surrounded by friends who care for me (including my non MI & WI friends that I met through everyone in WI)

My last big highlight that I would like to add is seeing Ramses’s custom runway line being walked live!!! Ramses is one of my closest friend and he does custom apparel under his brand Ramraves. I’ve got to witness and help with the beginning process of Ramraves and to see his work go in a Runway?? PROUD. SOOO PROUD. Ramses when you read this I just want to let you know that I’m still so in awe. Keep it up, opportunities are coming this year! I love you!

To those who are reading this, I hope you had a great new year and this year treats everyone better. It was a rough one for not only myself, but everyone else too. I do want to thank you for all the views, I hit 10k views right before the year ended and that was a cool little milestone and accomplishment for me. For whatever reason you’re visiting my blog to read, I hope you get the year you deserve.

Cheers to 2022! ♡

What Was Once Before is Not Again.

What was once before is not again, it will never be again. It could be something that you’re okay with not having around or something that you’ll miss. As you get older, you get all these special memories that you get to hold close to you and some not so great ones that you’ll never forget and wish you could. What a special thing to have though.

Don’t you wish you could relive certain moments over and over again? How special is it to know that we only get to experience some things once? How sad is it that we can only experience things once? And THANK THE GODS that we only have to experience certain things once.

I don’t know if I’m just feeling sentimental or I’m starting my 2 am overthinking thoughts, but I think that I lived a pretty good life so far. I’m pretty happy about it. A little weird coming from me right? I’m always writing about something sad or trying to motivate myself to be less negative and to become better. I’m proud of where I am and who I am becoming. It may not seem like much, but I take pride in where I’ve gotten myself and I can’t wait to see where I’ll be later.

I started to think of some old memories and I started to realize a lot of those will never happen again and the time that I had with them back then was it. What was once before is not again. I’m feeling very nostalgic. Some friendships that I had during my high school years were probably one of the best friendships that I’ve ever had. They taught me a lot and formed my foundation. I’m lucky enough to still be friends and we still contact each other, but I do miss how super close we use to be. I keep these people very close to my heart always. I’m so lucky to have had such genuine friendships during the time where it means the most because that’s what stuck with me. I was able to have those connections, so now I can give those connections to others now. So thank you, I love you guys with all my heart.
Maybe I need to stop being sappy and go to sleep. Good night and good morning everyone. ♡

I’m Just Trying to Get to You.

Lately I’ve been more to myself, not out as much, visiting home more often, not writing, just MIA. It’s not because I hate anyone or anything super crazy, but I haven’t felt too much like myself and it’s been feeling like I’ve been losing myself. I’ve been feeling stuck in a low place, but I still have to catch up and live my daily life. It’s stressful, it’s draining.

I can think back to the exact moment where I started to feel this way. I can pinpoint the exact reason, I can tell you exactly why. I can also tell you that it has made me a worse person, a bitter person, but also how it made me feel on top of the world but in the worst way. The saying “if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump off too,” well I didn’t even give my friends a chance to jump because I was the friend that did it first. The problem is I held on to it for too long. It was a temporary high, a temporary relief, it wasn’t meant to be kept. That’s a problem of mine, I hold on to whatever makes me feel good whether it’s long lasting or suppose to be temporary. Whatever makes or made me feel good. It has changed every aspect of my life and every aspect of myself. Me holding on allowed it to swallow me whole to where I don’t feel like or see myself anymore.

I need to unlearn everything. I need to break the negative patterns and behaviors that I’ve developed. I need to find myself again. It’s draining me out. What I thought was good for me was actually not and now I have to unlearn something that felt right. It feels so wrong.

Did I run away at times? Yes, I sure did.
How do you expect to start unlearning anything in the environment that you picked it up in? When it comes to something like this you need to get away to a place where you can give yourself a safe space far from the bad. Somewhere you can self reflect, somewhere you can ground yourself, somewhere that will remind you of the old you and where you wish to be. That’s what home is to me, so I’m willing to go back as many times as it takes to feel like myself again, to be better.

It’s always okay to slow down. It’s always okay to miss out. It’s always okay to unlearn unhealthy patterns and behaviors. It’s always okay to learn from your mistakes.

On bad days, it’s okay to rest. It’s a lot, it’s emotional, it’s draining. ST, You need to let go and unlearn what you’re use too. It serves no purpose to you. Deal with it head on ST, you know there’s no other way. ST, this isn’t you and you know that. We didn’t go through all of it for it to become this way. Be true to yourself in every way even if it hurts, it’s what you owe to yourself. Please listen to yourself and how you feel, don’t give up. Never give up, you can always be better. The way you love yourself is how you teach others to love you. Mental health days are fine, take more of them. Take advantage of the help that’s out there. Take more time for yourself. At least you’re working on yourself for yourself. Healing takes time.
– ST Reminders

“I wasn’t necessarily looking for happiness, just less pain.”

No matter what you do or try to be there will always be those dark moments in your life. We can’t avoid it and will fall into it from time to time. It sucks, but the truth is it’s just unavoidable. You either consume it or it consumes you, you either come out better or worse. There’s no way of telling until after.

I know I said I was going to post more often, but life got in the way. Both good and bad things. It’s been feeling like constant high and lows for me and I’ve been trying to raw dog my way through it. When I say that I mean by not running to alcohol whenever I feel sad. I would say I’m doing a decent job at that. Yes, I still drink on the weekends, but it’s more for fun and socially, not to fill a void. I haven’t been going to my therapy sessions either because there’s rules about keeping the same therapist when you move to different states, so at this point I pretty much have to find a new therapist. I liked my therapist I had in Michigan so much it feels like I won’t be able to find another like her. I’m trying to learn healthier ways to express my emotions and unlearn the negative patterns that I’ve been holding on to for forever. It’s hard as fuck. No one will ever tell you how it drains a lot of you because it feels like you are losing a part of yourself. You know, it’s something that you’ve known and was comfortable with for a while. Even if it’s bad, unhealthy or negative, it’s what you knew and what you adapted. What I will say though is to make sure you try to unlearn things for you and not for anyone else. If you aren’t doing it for yourself, then you will fall right back into it and you’re only going to disappoint yourself. Unless you’re actually willing to change, you’re not going to no matter how much you want it. That’s just how this shit works.

Exactly what am I looking for? “I wasn’t necessarily looking for happiness, just less pain.” Small baby steps, so just less pain right now, then after happiness and whatever comes next. Honestly if I can just feel content again, I’d be happy with that. I’m not looking for anything big right now, just to be okay again.

THINGS TO REMEMBER:

  • You will get through it
  • Your best is enough
  • It is okay to rest
  • Your opinion matters
  • Your feelings are valid
  • Your opinion matters
  • Your goals are important
  • Your voice deserves to get heard

We’re all rooting for you.

Everything All at Once.

I’ve been feeling over whelmed the last few weeks and strongly this week. It feels like everything is coming at me all at once. I’ve started writing a blog every day this week to express how I’ve been feeling, but I haven’t been able to finish any of them because I also feel mentally exhausted. Then it’s 5 am and I need to sleep or I’ll be tired for work. Well hello 6 am, it’s me. I’m up even later than usual. I guess I just have to take the L for work.

It’s frustrating, I’m feeling frustrated at this point. It’s exhausting, I’ve been exhausted. It’s overwhelming, I’m overwhelmed with everything, I have been overwhelmed with everything for a long time now. It’s not with just what’s going on around me and within my personal life, but also with all the overthinking and trying to process situations and understanding and trying to figure out how I feel about things. Then I go to work and that takes up a lot of my time, so I don’t even have that much time out of my day to work everything out. I feel like I’m trying to catch up with myself from the times of 2 am – 6 am everyday. That’s all I get and it’s not enough. I think I’m starting to burn out. You don’t want to try to figure things out during those times especially when you’re alone anyways. It’s not something I can’t handle, but I’m starting to feel defeated. Which makes me feel sad and then it’s another thing for me to add on. Everything all at once.

Your mental health is important. You are important. It’s important and very needed to put yourself first. Allow yourself to unload your mind, give yourself the time and a safe space or environment. Really focus on helping yourself. You are the only you that you will ever have. Do whatever it takes to feel okay again and remember to do it in a positive way and not with something that will later negatively effect you. Build yourself up and then protect that.

Letter to myself:
You got this, Sally. You can pull through. Adjustments are coming, just hold on a little longer. Things are going to change and it will help with a lot of the things. Do what feels right even if it’s not what you want. Let go of things that you cannot control. Communicate what you can, baby steps. Don’t forget to celebrate the baby steps along the way. Give yourself some sort of break. Things feel hard, but you’ve, we, us, I have been making progress. You’re stronger than you know, but I still worry. Remember, everything at once will eventually become nothing at all. Truly, take care of yourself this time.

Drunk Thoughts: Surrounded By Love.

I will admit that I am not drunk, but I am tipsy tonight. it still counts, I’m actually half a wine bottle down! I am blessed to be surrounded by love for my birthday today (or yesterday if we talkin technicalities) It just be hitting a little harder when you’re in a whole different state and been going through how I’ve been feeling moving. (Another blog, another time haha) I appreciate EVERYONE for the love and all the sweet personal messages I’ve been receiving. It does mean the world to me ♡
Public or privately, I don’t care. EVERYONE took their time out and I appreciate and love it so much! I’m so blessed to be surrounded by love like this. I really truly mean it. Even work showed me love and I’ve only been there for 1.5 weeks. As I get older and now that I’m out of Michigan, I really don’t care for material things. It’s the friendships and bonds that I make that matter the most to me. To keep those friendships alive or going, to still have those connections or making new ones. I just want to be a good person for myself and to others. What’s most important to me is quality time. We only have one life and I want it to be surrounded by people who truly care for me for me and not for anything else, like “Sally’s this persons friend, girlfriend, sister, aunt, etc.” Just there for me because I am my own person and I act upon my own. What you see is what you get. My astrology sign is a cancer, so I care deeply for those with good intents who care about me the same as well. Maybe i’m heading to the drunk zone, with this astrology talk LOL.
But for those who have asked and wondered. I’m doing good over here in Wisconsin. I had my struggles, but you know this bitch got herself and she holding it down and getting through whatever comes her way in anyway she can help herself. I have some really good friends over here too and I really want my close Michigan friends to meet my really close Wisconsin friends one day. Let me clear up the space and say this too, NO ONE IS GETTING REPLACED. Leave that petty shit at home, I got a lot of space to love. ♡

To my Michigan friends or even out of Wisconsin friends, please send me your address over social media because I do want to send you guys little things in the mail! I’ve been going old school pen pal type route with postcards and letters lately. I do send randomly too. Getting a personal piece of mail is something that you get excited about and love and I want to give that to you all! My nieces have LOVED it and I personally love sending it all out too!

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE. You’ll never know appreciative I am of it cause words just can’t explain. Love you all so so so much ♡

For The Both Of Us.

If I had the opportunity to go back into time, I would go back to you and hug you for the both of us. Lord knows you were going to need it and I know I need it now. We’re the same person, but in such two different realities. I need it for the strength, for the encouragement, to appreciate how far I’ve come and because I miss that twinkle in my eye. You need it for the moment, for what’s to come, for who you are, and also for the strength. I wouldn’t go back and say sorry or try to change anything. Not because I think it was meant to happen, but because I don’t know any of the what if’s and I’d rather not try to think about it. It would be maddening either way and in every other different way anyways.

For the both of us, I would go back in time, enjoy that moment with you, remember what it was like and hug you. That hug would have been everything to you because that hug was what I needed and was looking for and felt like I never got. So I would go back in time to hug you for the both of us. The twinkle wasn’t based on truth, but love and I miss that. Sometimes they are hand in hands and other times they aren’t. Balancing them when they aren’t isn’t the easiest, but you got here. You got me here, I’m here.
“Without you I can’t be, you’re the universe to me. You’re the air in my lungs, you’re the fields where I run, you’re the sky where I’m floating.“

Seven Lions at Electric Forest 2019 | June 30, 2019 11:41 PM

On My Own Time.

For the past few months, I’ve been able to kind of reset, start over and change how I’ve lived my life. Something I didn’t think was possible because I felt so stuck in a routine that didn’t allow me to have any time for myself. I quit my jobs and moved which allowed and forced me to find out what I would like for myself and what I don’t want to fall back into. It is 3 AM and I’m sitting at a breakfast bar inside my room eating a cheese, meat and carrot box, drinking kombucha and feeling pretty happy and content with life.

One thing I’ve learned and trying to incorporate more is doing things on my own time. Waiting until it feels right for me and not rushing into things. I’m not talking about chores, but life decisions. It may be a great opportunity, but if it feels too rushed then it’s okay to say no. When the time is right for you, then go ahead and revisit it. If it’s not available then it wasn’t meant to be. Finding your own timing with things can be a little difficult, but when it’s time you’ll know.

Don’t let anyone tear you down for not doing something right away because it’s what they want for you or because it’s what they expect from you. Some people will even try to use your own timing to make you look bad and make themselves better because you seem happier than them. They just want what you have, pure jealousy. Choose schooling when you feel ready and motivated, choose that job that you’re happy to work at instead of the one where you make tons of money, but you’re completely miserable. You know what’s right for you and only you can live for yourself.

I’m taking this time to not only enjoy my freedom and getting to know my new area, but to make sure I’m choosing me correctly. Making sure I have time to actually make the right decisions. From school, work, and my life outside from those I don’t want anything less than happy. I’ve been doing things on my own time and I couldn’t be happier about it.

SALLY ♡ T

Imagine.

Imagine waking up happy the moment you open your eyes all the way until you fall asleep. Imagine less roads traveled and more of that time spent surrounded by love and laughter instead of your radio and your solo concerts. Imagine less conversations through the phone and more in person. Imagine lonely days being less lonely, each day filled with loving stares, more hugs and more kisses. Imagine a world like that.

Big news though, I don’t have to imagine it anymore because I finally get to live like that. I moved to Wisconsin.
You read that right, I moved to Wisconsin.


All I have to say about it is: it feels right.

SALLY ♡ T