Tag: Life is Too Short

2024: July to September Photo Dump

These summer months were filled with travels for me. Remember how I said I was going to live it up this summer? I definitely did! Having a life outside of work has been a long time coming and well deserved. I’ve been able to romanticize my life again and mentally I’ve been so much better. I turned 29, I ate good food, I danced, I added to my plushie collections when I literally have no space in my room, I loved and was loved back, celebrated my friend getting married, saw old friends and made ones. It was the best. I would love to thank the summer sun for all it provided, you’ll be very missed soon. Hopefully the winter blues will be kind this year.
Loving every little thing in the world ♡

July

August

September

What’s Been Up, Sally?

What’s been up? What’s been up? What’s been up? What’s been up?

Hi, hello again SALLY ♡ THINGS readers! Yes, it’s really me. I’m coming back into existence. Here’s an update, so feel free to skip too. I’m just talking about life, but lets get into it, What’s been up?

Well … you see … life has been really life-ing. Lifing or life-ing? But like REALLY. Both in good and bad ways. I was going through it when the last blog was posted plus some more, then of course it calms down. Things start to come together a little and then it takes a sharp turn in another direction that I did not see coming, but it feels good. It feels familiar, but it’s also new at the same time. I just don’t really know how to navigate it and how I feel about it. I just can’t fully accept it just yet, I need to be cautious, I need to look out for me. More time goes on and I’m fighting some demons, ignoring others and starting to accept some. Then we go to the most recent obstacle life has thrown in the way and I still can’t even wrap my head around that one.

You know at the same time, I’m living life. I’m free, I’m starting to feel light, my personality is starting to shine again. I’m literally feeling more like myself and I’m loving myself more. The love is there, it’s still there, it’s always been there. I feeling like I’m growing into the same me, but also a newer, better me. I feel like I’m in this little phase of healing, glowing, loving, and just shining. Which I will admit feels very bizarre because I’m also so stressed. You can really see the stress or burn out on me, specifically on my skin and hair and with my drinking that I had fallen back into too. Is this the non-linear path that they call healing?

Both of my jobs are keeping me busy and I’m very blessed to have them. It’s going on month three of being an assistant to a modeling agency here in my hometown and even though I’m doing light work for them right now, I’m learning a lot of skills that I could use for myself and for my own social media/branding. I’m very thankful for this opportunity that was given to me. My other job, I’m happy to be working in an environment that really sees my effort and worth. Yes, It’s a pretty high-stress work environment, but it works with me and provides for me.

My drinking? It got really intense since I moved back to Michigan last year and while I was impressed with it myself, it was going down a rocky path. I’ve been really working on consistently slowing it down and there’s been a lot of improvement there. Gym? It was starting and I did go for about 3 weeks. Then I fell behind, but that’s okay. I have time to get back into it and I really wasn’t going with intentions of a body goal, but going because I know it’s good for my health. To be honest, I’m loving how I look now, it’s already different from how I saw it before and I think it’s that self love that I’ve really been working on. Talking about self love, my skin? I’ve going through the trenches with that one, but it doesn’t bother me where I’m feeling insecure about it. Maybe because of my severe facial eczema as a kid helped me with my own feelings and securities? I know the cause of the breakouts are from being off of a medicine that I’ve been taking for at least 10 years and my hormones were regulated heavily by it. Something out of my control.

Which BTW, **(rant incoming)** remember that when you move to a different states that there could be different rules and regulations. So your doctor that you had in your previous state, might not be able to legally prescribe medications in the state you moved too. Leading you to having to find a new doctor, but before that you have to switch health insurance from the previous state to one in the current state you live in that will cover you and then you to find a doctor that can prescribe what you need. All the while, a lot of doctors are constantly changing their status of if they are accepting new patients or not. Then your new insurance cards are taking a long time to mail to you and the doctor can’t fit you in until April/May so you have to wait until they have a cancellation in an earlier spot, so you you can take that time slot. It was a fun time 🙂

Then this will be in another post with more details and links soon, but if you haven’t seen yet, my one year old nephew recently got diagnosed with leukemia. That has been the biggest life challenge and it’s been very hard. I don’t think I have my head fully wrapped around it yet because how could that be? He’s only 1 year old, a sweet and innocent baby. Life is not fair to kids and it makes me want to cry every minute I think about it. Even until recently, he’s looked and has been super healthy and then one day he just was very sick. Next, he was diagnosed and put in chemotherapy treatment the next day. It really happened all so quick. That’s my little chubbs.

I’m tired and starting to feel burnt out. It seems like catching a break is not in my 2023 plans. What I can look forward too though is the support that I have with my friends and family around me. Without them, I would have been pushed over the edge already. So really, thank you to all of them. It definitely means the world to me. When you are at low points in life, you also find yourself having high point moments. It’s the way life works, we need the bad to see and appreciate the good stuff coming. The world just keeps moving, so I need to keep moving too or at least attempt to. Here’s that update, what’s been up Sally?

My First Year in Wisconsin.

You read that right. It’s officially been a year since I moved from Michigan to Wisconsin. Time here flew by really fast, maybe a little too quick if you ask me. This past year has taught me a lot about myself, starting over, friendships and so much more. Moving states and changing environments has been good to me, it has humbled me and it has also brought out the worst of me. For the first time in my life, I felt like an outsider and I would be lying if I said it doesn’t still kind of feel that way. Adjusting to a brand new environment was a lot harder for me than what you would expect. Having to let go and move pass a life that you’ve always known is a lot harder than it seems. I guess I’m one of those people who prefer to be where I feel comfortable in, but I’m making it work.

I promised to be honest on my blog, so let’s talk about some of the downsides that came with moving. To start off, I miss my family and my friends so much even to this day and forever will. I’m so big on connections and being away from everyone really hit me hard. I’m missing out on seeing my nieces and nephew grow up and that probably hurts the most. I was so present in their lives and I absolutely adore and love them like my own kids. Hell, I missed my nephew’s birth and I cried after the call in the middle of a house party because I knew I wouldn’t be as present in his life like I was with the other babies. I’m also missing out on all the quality time with my parents, sibling and friends. They play such big roles in who I am as a person. My friends are literally my family, we celebrate everything together from big to small. It’s the connection, it’s the love and support.

Second, I lived in Grand Rapids, Michigan which I would say is super diverse, my friend group is also diverse, even the school I went to was pretty diverse. So it’s all that I’ve ever been around. Once I moved to Wisconsin, it was like the opposite of culture shock for me. I was around a group that mainly consisted of one ethnicity with one or two people of different culture. Even then, those one or two people were very educated in the ethnicity group where they even knew some of the language, music, food etc. so I actually felt like an outsider. Never have I felt that way or experienced something like it.

Third, there’s that saying ‘you can’t heal in an environment that has hurt you’ and as much as I would like to say it’s not true, there is some truth to it. I willingly moved on my own knowing the problems that I would face, knowing that I would be on alert and always on my toes waiting for something to happen. I knew it would be kind of negative at first, which I will say definitely did not help me with adjusting. Sad, but it’s how it was. I saw the outcome of the move to worth more than the hurt and that I could get passed all of it eventually. There were tons of people who tried to get to know me, but really their intentions were to really get to know what had happened before and to instigate or start new problems. I had to and sometimes still have to pick those people out from who my real friends are. It also keeps me stuck in a place or brings me back to it that I’m trying so hard to move forward from. It was hard to make genuine friendships because for a while I couldn’t make out the differences. You wouldn’t believe how many times I was told that I was stupid to move here or all the new anonymous accounts that tried to make my time here hell. Maybe all that can be talked about in another blog LOL. But yes that did happen and yes it use to get to me and yes I use to cry about it.
Now I’m not an angel or perfect, sometimes it’ll come up in conversation and it’s me that’s bringing it up. I’ll 100% claim that. I’m not fully moved on and now I’m living so much closer to the environment where it happened and with people around that knew. I had to learn how to forgive everyone and how to accept things and see things from different perspectives. I’ll keep working on it because I owe that to myself. I’m much more than what people think and I came here for a reason and maybe for a little vengeance, juuuuust kiddinggggg on that last part. If it happens it happens, ya know?

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Now time for the good part. Moving out of my hometown gave me a new start and even though that was hard to accept, I made my way and now I can literally do anything. I just needed this jump start. So if you plan on moving, do it. Just go ahead and do it. Do things for yourself. It may take time, but you’ll settle in eventually. I can say I’m more comfortable and I’m building my life here. I’ve also been learning new things about myself that I never knew. With having this space of being on my own, away from my friends and family, it has opened my eyes about who I am, my potential and who I can become. It’s exactly what I needed.

I met a lot of new people and made a lot of new friends and I even have some very close friends that I very much appreciate and love. My first year in Wisconsin also consisted of a lot of time spent in Minnesota or in different cities like Milwaukee and Sheboygan and even hotel living. If you know, you know. Long story short right after I moved to Wisconsin, I spent about a total of 3-5 months maybe in a hotel due to house cleaning, but because of that I can recommend some pretty nice hotels and restaurants in the Madison area if anyone plans to visit.

Overall it’s been a really good first year. I can honestly say I’m excited to see how the next few years will be because ya girl isn’t planning on moving anywhere else. It’s a lot of work and cost to move to a new state and I don’t have that in me again just yet. I didn’t think I had a lot of stuff to move until I filled up two cars. Plus I have so much in front of me that I wouldn’t want to miss out on. To my first year in Wisconsin and to another year coming, to all the life lessons, adventures and opportunities, CHEERS!
Now enjoy my little 1 year recap video below! ♡

I’m Just Trying to Get to You.

Lately I’ve been more to myself, not out as much, visiting home more often, not writing, just MIA. It’s not because I hate anyone or anything super crazy, but I haven’t felt too much like myself and it’s been feeling like I’ve been losing myself. I’ve been feeling stuck in a low place, but I still have to catch up and live my daily life. It’s stressful, it’s draining.

I can think back to the exact moment where I started to feel this way. I can pinpoint the exact reason, I can tell you exactly why. I can also tell you that it has made me a worse person, a bitter person, but also how it made me feel on top of the world but in the worst way. The saying “if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump off too,” well I didn’t even give my friends a chance to jump because I was the friend that did it first. The problem is I held on to it for too long. It was a temporary high, a temporary relief, it wasn’t meant to be kept. That’s a problem of mine, I hold on to whatever makes me feel good whether it’s long lasting or suppose to be temporary. Whatever makes or made me feel good. It has changed every aspect of my life and every aspect of myself. Me holding on allowed it to swallow me whole to where I don’t feel like or see myself anymore.

I need to unlearn everything. I need to break the negative patterns and behaviors that I’ve developed. I need to find myself again. It’s draining me out. What I thought was good for me was actually not and now I have to unlearn something that felt right. It feels so wrong.

Did I run away at times? Yes, I sure did.
How do you expect to start unlearning anything in the environment that you picked it up in? When it comes to something like this you need to get away to a place where you can give yourself a safe space far from the bad. Somewhere you can self reflect, somewhere you can ground yourself, somewhere that will remind you of the old you and where you wish to be. That’s what home is to me, so I’m willing to go back as many times as it takes to feel like myself again, to be better.

It’s always okay to slow down. It’s always okay to miss out. It’s always okay to unlearn unhealthy patterns and behaviors. It’s always okay to learn from your mistakes.

On bad days, it’s okay to rest. It’s a lot, it’s emotional, it’s draining. ST, You need to let go and unlearn what you’re use too. It serves no purpose to you. Deal with it head on ST, you know there’s no other way. ST, this isn’t you and you know that. We didn’t go through all of it for it to become this way. Be true to yourself in every way even if it hurts, it’s what you owe to yourself. Please listen to yourself and how you feel, don’t give up. Never give up, you can always be better. The way you love yourself is how you teach others to love you. Mental health days are fine, take more of them. Take advantage of the help that’s out there. Take more time for yourself. At least you’re working on yourself for yourself. Healing takes time.
– ST Reminders

Biggest Challenges of 2020: Therapy.

There’s still this stigma around therapy and counseling, it has gotten a lot better recently, but it’s still very much there. The more we talk about mental health and getting help this stigma around it will only get better. I don’t have any mental health relating problems, but this year has really shown to me the full effect of traumas that I have experienced or dealt with. Hi, I’m Sally and my life is pretty crazy.

THERAPY.
2020 is the year where the unimaginable happened, others and myself were out of work, everything that was a public event was no longer being held or hosted, and places that were non-essential were being shutdown. At the beginning, we really only had time to sit around and focus on ourselves. Well, I realized then that I had a little too much that I had to focus on. Things that I never realized about myself was starting to come to light. I tried to push it away like most because my problems were never anything seriously bad. Well as things started to just sit there, I ignored it. The more I ignored it, it started to subconsciously make its way into my life and affected my dreams how I was feeling for days at a time. I felt lost and like I wasn’t doing enough. The same night that I looked for a therapist, I told my best friend “Everything in my life is going great, I have no complaints, but personally, myself do not feel great at all.” We drank and I had drunk a lot, at 4 AM I was emailing a couple of different therapist. Drunk Sally said, “bitch you need help, I am going to get you help.” I didn’t remember any of it until I got a phone call from one of the centers that I emailed the next day.

Sober me thought I was just being dramatic and couldn’t believe that I had gone as far as emailing. I thought that was just crazy of me to do. Me? I don’t need help, my problems aren’t even that important, but I spoke to my friends about it and they all congratulated me instead. It wasn’t the reaction that I expected at all, but it was their support that pushed me to take the steps to look further into the therapy. It took me about a month to finally set up my first session, but I did it.

You never know how much you actually deal with until you start talking in these sessions. Without getting into detail of my own life’s work, let’s just say what I thought was normal to me started to appear a little crazy and unbelievable when saying it all out loud to a stranger. Even if my traumas aren’t as intense as others, they were still my traumas and why should I think of them or myself as any less? I can say that me, personally, am caught up to everything else in my life or pretty close to it. I have learned a lot about myself through my sessions and I have accepted and forgave parts of myself that I didn’t know needed. I’m better at seeing things for what it really is and not how I want them to seem. It’s been eye opening and I’m not so stuck anymore.

If you have been thinking about therapy, I 100% support that decision. It has helped me so much already and I’ve only gone for 2 months. Makes those calls, write those emails, because you are just as important. No matter how small your problem or issue is, you are just as important. There is nothing bad about seeking help for yourself. Do it for yourself.

SALLY ♡ T

Dignity. (drunk thoughts)

I am the person to make sure they go down with dignity. I did stop feeling that strength after a while. Dignity or not, I will be for what I feel is right to me, no matter what. I have nothing to prove to anyone, but me. That is true dignity, even though others don’t see it that way, I will always believe in myself.

I won’t lie, I’ve been crushed multiple time where I didn’t feel that way. I lost my strength completely. Not know how it would end. A song someone sings for the dead. I have accept that as well believe it or not. You may call me dramatic, but honestly it is what it is, but I am way better now. Please don’t worry. Please just look after your friends. Life is too short sometimes.

Cherish every moment, every lesson, everything. Confusing to sad, to happy. Cherish it all.

I have no recollection of me writing this at all this night and that’s really crazy to me. I said what I said though. I’m really proud of myself and that’s all I can say. I also know that drunk Sally can be really dramatic, like those dramas where someone gets shoved and they take 5 mins acting out the falling. I do want everyone to know that I am doing just fine and there’s no need for concern, even though it sounds that way. I can just get very dramatic sometimes. ☺