Tag: Helping Yourself

They Say Don’t Let It Break Your Heart.

October 10, 2022 (Original blog post)

“Don’t let it break your heart.”
Yeah, easy to say, but it’s not happening to you. What you actually don’t know is that it’s breaking more than just my heart, it’s breaking me. It’s breaking everything of me. It goes so much deeper. It’s not just my heart.

I’ve been hearing everything in the book like ‘don’t let it make you cold’ or ‘don’t care so much about it’ or ‘you’ll be better within time’, but I would rather much hear things like ‘how are you doing or feeling?’ and just a shoulder to cry on in silence. I really don’t need encouraging words or hope for the future, I need words that help me with my current emotions. I think people tend to forget that you still need time to process your emotions and feelings before you can think about the journey ahead of you. So really this blog is remind everyone of that.

September 2, 2023 (New blog post)

“Don’t let it break your heart.“
They say don’t let it break your heart, but maybe that’s exactly what you need. It doesn’t sound like a good time and from experience I can tell you that it is not a good time. When you do allow yourself to break down and feel, there’s some sort of healing that happens. You have to allow it to happen first though.

I still agree with what I wrote back in October, even now when people say some of those phrases I’ll give them the crazy eye twitch stare. The difference now is that I am more accepting of this new reality. I let go of the reality and future I had dreamt at that time and started dreaming of a new one. It took me a long time to accept that things were no longer meant for me. Once I got to that point, I didn’t know what was meant for me anymore. How do you trust yourself and judgement again? The only advice I have for when you get there is to just take it slow and take things day by day. Eventually things will come to you.

The way you treat yourself will really determine if you’ll let the situation break you or make you. You can become hateful and vengeful or kind and filled with love. It’s up to you and to each their own. I still have a bit to work on and for who knows how long, but I hope I do come out just as loving towards myself and others.

Putting Yourself Back Together.

I wasn’t really sure if I was going to write any blogs that are about my current heartbreak/healing journey because I didn’t want it to consume more of my days than it already has. I’ve been trying to write about other things, but I’m stuck and nothing is coming to me naturally, but this. I don’t want my blog to be like all the others where they only write about trends, products, paid advertising, etc. I want it to be relatable, personal, raw and emotional. Almost like you’re talking to me in person when you’re reading each blog. So here I am, writing and hoping that maybe after this I don’t feel so stuck in this writer’s block.

Someone reminded me the purpose of my blog, which is to write and post about my own experiences and help other feel less alone in theirs. It’s for those who just feel. Thank you for that. Now read on and feel all the feels, I’m right there with you. ♡

If you’re in the spot where you have to put yourself together, but it feels impossible at times. I’m right there with you. Yep, healing a heart that you didn’t break, specifically your own heart. It’s hard, it’s sad, it’s draining. I know you’re tired, I know you’re hurting, I know you want to cry. The world seems like it’s running and running and you can’t keep up. I want you to know that it’s all okay to feel. I’m going through the very same feelings. It’s hard to continue living your life and trying to be happy all the time. I know how loving and happy memories pop up in your head, but it brings tears and sadness to your soul. Small things will trigger memories and sneak up on you when you’re finally having a better day and it changes you for the rest of the day. You’re tired from not being able to fall asleep cause your mind won’t stop running with thoughts or you wake up multiple times a night, every night, because you dream of your situation. I know, me too. I don’t have a cure to stop everything right away, but I know what will lessen these things over time is giving yourself space, a safe space, to feel all of it. Release the tears, cry your eyes out, feel sad, feel hurt, feel betrayed. Sit with your feelings, sit with yourself. While you sit with yourself, tell yourself it’s okay to feel this way and that you forgive yourself. Remind yourself that you are enough and that there was nothing else you could do to save anything. Remind yourself that you saved yourself instead. You had no other choice, but to choose yourself.

That’s how you’ll eventually put yourself back together. You have to feel all the feels and then tend to them. That’s the healing part, that is healing. Unfortunately, it’s not easy and it’s not happy. It’s a lot of grieving old versions of others and yourself. You aren’t alone and there are people out that that care for you. Don’t forget that. Don’t forget you are enough and in the end you’ll be even more. Date yourself, pour the love into yourself. Tend to your emotions and feelings, comfort yourself. I know you can do it. You, me, both, we can do it. ♡ We’re all in the thick of it.

Hi, I’m Sally and I’m not feeling my best. Mentally, I’m decent, but I could be better. I’m in a spot in my life where I’m just a little more vulnerable and emotional, a little heartbreak/self love and healing era. I’m not ashamed to admit I’m not where I could be, but I know I’ll get there eventually. It’s absolutely okay to not be okay. After all, we are all human. Love you more.

Twenty-Eight, to a New Chapter.

TWENTY-EIGHT!?!? Yes, it’s true. I am officially 28, bring on the closer to 30 jokes. Even I can’t believe that I’m 28, I feel like I’m still this 20 year old trying to figure out life on my own. Maybe the figuring out life feeling never goes away.

Going into this 28th year, everything is different from what I pictured it would be. It’s really a new chapter of many unknowns. For my 28th year, I’m hoping to really put the focus on myself. I am going to be my number one priority. The healing, the growth, the self care, the self love, the schooling, the career, the future opportunities, all of it will be my focus and I am the priority and not anyone else.

There’s a lot of things in line for me already, but what I really hope to get from this upcoming year is to get back my full self. For the past few years, everyone has met the version of me who was pouring out too much in others leaving nothing behind for herself. I didn’t and couldn’t realize it myself. How does the one who pours out her love see the bad in that? I won’t completely change the way I’ve been cause some of those parts are still me. Don’t worry everyone, that version that you met isn’t too far from where I hope to be, I’ll just be better. I would love to be able to shake the idea of what I thought things would be and be able to take in and be happy about what I’m in presently. Live more in the present and not the past. Next year I would love to look back at this post, see how far I’ve come and be happy about the journey.

Before the day ends, I wanted to thank everyone who took a few minutes out of their day to tell me happy birthday. I appreciate it very, very much. Also to those who took me out today and for my friends that I will be seeing this weekend and later this month. Just because I’m 28 now, it doesn’t mean I’m too old to celebrate all month and yes I did say all month.
Here’s to a new chapter, here’s to 28!

A Life For Me.

Sometimes you dream about a life for yourself and it’s simply just a dream to you. It doesn’t feel achievable at all. That’s what I feel 100% about mine. My dreams seem unattainable at times because of the way that life has been dealt to me and honestly just how I am as a person. I am someone who will puts others before myself at anytime. I just can’t help it. It’s a great trait, but it has also caused me to stop living for myself. If you’re like that too, I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to step back and start living for yourself. It’s the only way to get to your dreams. You are your own roadblock.

A long time ago, I attended college, but I pretty much dropped out before the end of the year. Long story short, I made myself available more to my family and put my own life path to the side. It stuck and continued on for years and school was not a thing that could happen for me. I tried many times to reenroll, but I felt like if I decided to not be as available, then I was being selfish and I couldn’t let my tiny little humans have that type of inconsistency in their life. I don’t think I would change it if I had the chance to go back, but I do wonder a lot where I would be if I had chosen myself first.

The good thing is once you find a better way to juggle life and a better way to express your boundaries, then you can start working at your dreams. It took me moving away to a different state to learn all that and being away for a bit to even have the space to think about myself. So once you find your way, it’ll get better. Don’t be afraid of what others will think or feel because those around you, that love you, will always support you. I’m moving forward in small steps and changes are slowly happening for me. My dreams are looking a little better and I think I can actually name specific goals for myself now. I know you can make it happen for yourself too! Start living your life for you ♡

Protecting My Peace.

It’s something that has been talked about more and more each day, protecting your peace. So what does that actually mean? Basically protecting your space, your environment, not letting everyone take from you. You choose who gets your energy and those that don’t because they will drain you out. It doesn’t even have to be people, it can be actions or objects as well. Negative thoughts? Gone. Toxic family members? See you never. A gift that reminds you of a negative time in your life? Good bye.

I have a few stories of cutting certain friendships, relationships and connections that I really wanted to hold on to but no longer served, benefited or gave me joy. Now when I describe as ‘served me’ or ‘benefited’ I don’t mean it in a way that these were giving me something physical like money or material objects. I mean it in the way that they provided me with positive feelings, happiness, love, and support. Like they were there for me to lean on when needed without judgement or I didn’t feel like it was a competition of who does it better. People who are genuinely there for you, a two way relationship or connection.

Without getting into a lot of details because I still hope them the best, but I had to cut ties with a long term friendship, someone I knew the longest in my life. As we grew up, I think we grew apart and eventually that friendship started to drain me. I remained friends with this person for a long time after just hoping it would change cause I saw them as my #1 go to person. That friendship started to make me feel like we were competing with each other constantly. Eventually something happened, trust was broken and it was time to let go. As sad as it was to lose that friendship, I started feeling lighter, less drained. I no longer was in this negative mindset, it literally felt like I lost a storm cloud over my head. It’s just crazy how people can affect you negatively as much as they can positively.
Another way that I’m working on protecting my peace is being more private with my personal social medias. I had to learn that not everyone is rooting for you. They’re really rooting for your downfall and just waiting to kick you the moment you look like you’re starting to fall. With that even if I publicly outed them, it wouldn’t stop. I was actually fueling their fire, feeding into their ego and giving them the attention that they so badly seeked and needed without even knowing. So I went quiet, I went private. On personal pages of mine, you don’t get to see my life unless I allow you to. I show you what I want to be shown on the other pages that are a little less private. Did that make people mad? Yeah. Did it stop all the crazies though? About 85%, but I’ll take that over what it was before. Then it gave me the opportunity to create this blog to relate with so many out there. It gave me an opportunity to be able to make a safe creative space for myself. So remember, not everyone is there for you and not everyone is rooting for you. That’s fine though, just like how you don’t like certain people, certain people won’t like you. Not everyone is for you and you’re not for everyone. Protect your peace.

If you are feeling drained from certain connections or relationships, I hope you find your way too. I asked on my Instagram and facebook page how others protect their peace and here were some responses that I got back. Hopefully someone can find this useful. (Blocked out names out of respect!)

  • Learning how to not care so much about what others think or say
  • Having a self care routine and making time for yourself
  • Setting boundaries and having gratitude because everything happens for a reason
  • By staying home or limiting your time around certain people
  • When you start to overthink, repeat an affirmation over and over again

I appreciate those that share their thoughts on my Q&A’s and for all of you that read my blog post TONS ♡ I just want to connect with people even if it’s just on a social media level. If I can help, then why not you know? Always take what you need from the blog and leave what you don’t.
We’re out here to GROW, LOVE, and BE HAPPY.