Believe in Yourself – Page 2

Putting Yourself Back Together.

I wasn’t really sure if I was going to write any blogs that are about my current heartbreak/healing journey because I didn’t want it to consume more of my days than it already has. I’ve been trying to write about other things, but I’m stuck and nothing is coming to me naturally, but this. I don’t want my blog to be like all the others where they only write about trends, products, paid advertising, etc. I want it to be relatable, personal, raw and emotional. Almost like you’re talking to me in person when you’re reading each blog. So here I am, writing and hoping that maybe after this I don’t feel so stuck in this writer’s block.

Someone reminded me the purpose of my blog, which is to write and post about my own experiences and help other feel less alone in theirs. It’s for those who just feel. Thank you for that. Now read on and feel all the feels, I’m right there with you. ♡

If you’re in the spot where you have to put yourself together, but it feels impossible at times. I’m right there with you. Yep, healing a heart that you didn’t break, specifically your own heart. It’s hard, it’s sad, it’s draining. I know you’re tired, I know you’re hurting, I know you want to cry. The world seems like it’s running and running and you can’t keep up. I want you to know that it’s all okay to feel. I’m going through the very same feelings. It’s hard to continue living your life and trying to be happy all the time. I know how loving and happy memories pop up in your head, but it brings tears and sadness to your soul. Small things will trigger memories and sneak up on you when you’re finally having a better day and it changes you for the rest of the day. You’re tired from not being able to fall asleep cause your mind won’t stop running with thoughts or you wake up multiple times a night, every night, because you dream of your situation. I know, me too. I don’t have a cure to stop everything right away, but I know what will lessen these things over time is giving yourself space, a safe space, to feel all of it. Release the tears, cry your eyes out, feel sad, feel hurt, feel betrayed. Sit with your feelings, sit with yourself. While you sit with yourself, tell yourself it’s okay to feel this way and that you forgive yourself. Remind yourself that you are enough and that there was nothing else you could do to save anything. Remind yourself that you saved yourself instead. You had no other choice, but to choose yourself.

That’s how you’ll eventually put yourself back together. You have to feel all the feels and then tend to them. That’s the healing part, that is healing. Unfortunately, it’s not easy and it’s not happy. It’s a lot of grieving old versions of others and yourself. You aren’t alone and there are people out that that care for you. Don’t forget that. Don’t forget you are enough and in the end you’ll be even more. Date yourself, pour the love into yourself. Tend to your emotions and feelings, comfort yourself. I know you can do it. You, me, both, we can do it. ♡ We’re all in the thick of it.

Hi, I’m Sally and I’m not feeling my best. Mentally, I’m decent, but I could be better. I’m in a spot in my life where I’m just a little more vulnerable and emotional, a little heartbreak/self love and healing era. I’m not ashamed to admit I’m not where I could be, but I know I’ll get there eventually. It’s absolutely okay to not be okay. After all, we are all human. Love you more.

A Life For Me.

Sometimes you dream about a life for yourself and it’s simply just a dream to you. It doesn’t feel achievable at all. That’s what I feel 100% about mine. My dreams seem unattainable at times because of the way that life has been dealt to me and honestly just how I am as a person. I am someone who will puts others before myself at anytime. I just can’t help it. It’s a great trait, but it has also caused me to stop living for myself. If you’re like that too, I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to step back and start living for yourself. It’s the only way to get to your dreams. You are your own roadblock.

A long time ago, I attended college, but I pretty much dropped out before the end of the year. Long story short, I made myself available more to my family and put my own life path to the side. It stuck and continued on for years and school was not a thing that could happen for me. I tried many times to reenroll, but I felt like if I decided to not be as available, then I was being selfish and I couldn’t let my tiny little humans have that type of inconsistency in their life. I don’t think I would change it if I had the chance to go back, but I do wonder a lot where I would be if I had chosen myself first.

The good thing is once you find a better way to juggle life and a better way to express your boundaries, then you can start working at your dreams. It took me moving away to a different state to learn all that and being away for a bit to even have the space to think about myself. So once you find your way, it’ll get better. Don’t be afraid of what others will think or feel because those around you, that love you, will always support you. I’m moving forward in small steps and changes are slowly happening for me. My dreams are looking a little better and I think I can actually name specific goals for myself now. I know you can make it happen for yourself too! Start living your life for you ♡

What’s Been Up, Sally?

What’s been up? What’s been up? What’s been up? What’s been up?

Hi, hello again SALLY ♡ THINGS readers! Yes, it’s really me. I’m coming back into existence. Here’s an update, so feel free to skip too. I’m just talking about life, but lets get into it, What’s been up?

Well … you see … life has been really life-ing. Lifing or life-ing? But like REALLY. Both in good and bad ways. I was going through it when the last blog was posted plus some more, then of course it calms down. Things start to come together a little and then it takes a sharp turn in another direction that I did not see coming, but it feels good. It feels familiar, but it’s also new at the same time. I just don’t really know how to navigate it and how I feel about it. I just can’t fully accept it just yet, I need to be cautious, I need to look out for me. More time goes on and I’m fighting some demons, ignoring others and starting to accept some. Then we go to the most recent obstacle life has thrown in the way and I still can’t even wrap my head around that one.

You know at the same time, I’m living life. I’m free, I’m starting to feel light, my personality is starting to shine again. I’m literally feeling more like myself and I’m loving myself more. The love is there, it’s still there, it’s always been there. I feeling like I’m growing into the same me, but also a newer, better me. I feel like I’m in this little phase of healing, glowing, loving, and just shining. Which I will admit feels very bizarre because I’m also so stressed. You can really see the stress or burn out on me, specifically on my skin and hair and with my drinking that I had fallen back into too. Is this the non-linear path that they call healing?

Both of my jobs are keeping me busy and I’m very blessed to have them. It’s going on month three of being an assistant to a modeling agency here in my hometown and even though I’m doing light work for them right now, I’m learning a lot of skills that I could use for myself and for my own social media/branding. I’m very thankful for this opportunity that was given to me. My other job, I’m happy to be working in an environment that really sees my effort and worth. Yes, It’s a pretty high-stress work environment, but it works with me and provides for me.

My drinking? It got really intense since I moved back to Michigan last year and while I was impressed with it myself, it was going down a rocky path. I’ve been really working on consistently slowing it down and there’s been a lot of improvement there. Gym? It was starting and I did go for about 3 weeks. Then I fell behind, but that’s okay. I have time to get back into it and I really wasn’t going with intentions of a body goal, but going because I know it’s good for my health. To be honest, I’m loving how I look now, it’s already different from how I saw it before and I think it’s that self love that I’ve really been working on. Talking about self love, my skin? I’ve going through the trenches with that one, but it doesn’t bother me where I’m feeling insecure about it. Maybe because of my severe facial eczema as a kid helped me with my own feelings and securities? I know the cause of the breakouts are from being off of a medicine that I’ve been taking for at least 10 years and my hormones were regulated heavily by it. Something out of my control.

Which BTW, **(rant incoming)** remember that when you move to a different states that there could be different rules and regulations. So your doctor that you had in your previous state, might not be able to legally prescribe medications in the state you moved too. Leading you to having to find a new doctor, but before that you have to switch health insurance from the previous state to one in the current state you live in that will cover you and then you to find a doctor that can prescribe what you need. All the while, a lot of doctors are constantly changing their status of if they are accepting new patients or not. Then your new insurance cards are taking a long time to mail to you and the doctor can’t fit you in until April/May so you have to wait until they have a cancellation in an earlier spot, so you you can take that time slot. It was a fun time 🙂

Then this will be in another post with more details and links soon, but if you haven’t seen yet, my one year old nephew recently got diagnosed with leukemia. That has been the biggest life challenge and it’s been very hard. I don’t think I have my head fully wrapped around it yet because how could that be? He’s only 1 year old, a sweet and innocent baby. Life is not fair to kids and it makes me want to cry every minute I think about it. Even until recently, he’s looked and has been super healthy and then one day he just was very sick. Next, he was diagnosed and put in chemotherapy treatment the next day. It really happened all so quick. That’s my little chubbs.

I’m tired and starting to feel burnt out. It seems like catching a break is not in my 2023 plans. What I can look forward too though is the support that I have with my friends and family around me. Without them, I would have been pushed over the edge already. So really, thank you to all of them. It definitely means the world to me. When you are at low points in life, you also find yourself having high point moments. It’s the way life works, we need the bad to see and appreciate the good stuff coming. The world just keeps moving, so I need to keep moving too or at least attempt to. Here’s that update, what’s been up Sally?

August 24: Reminders

“Hi, Sally – you don’t ever have to apologize for doing what you feel is best for you.“
A friend told me this and it’s something I needed to hear. I couldn’t tell you how much harder I cried just reading that first line because she was right. Why am I saying sorry if it’s for me?

“No matter how hard today might be. No matter how hard tomorrow might be, at the end of it all, you’re going to come out on top. Don’t get yourself too down.“
I’ve been trying so hard to not show my real emotions through my face and body language when I’m around people. So for me to get this when I was driving home by myself and letting all my emotions pour out, tears. More tears, hard tears, hard crying. Even if I can’t see it yet, I’ll always come out on top. He’s right.

To my two friends, thank you so much. You absolutely have no idea how much my SOUL needed to hear these. These have really stuck with me. ♡

Whatever I choose is for me. Even if it doesn’t seem like it worked out, it was suppose to be a lesson. Even if it did work out for me, it’s still a lesson. Something from it can always be taken as a lesson and in the end it’ll make me a better person. Always room for growth, always a better person, always for me. Take your time with things, be by yourself. Sit in your feelings, be with your feeling because that’s being with yourself. You need that the most – to be with yourself. No need to focus on the future, be in the present because that’s who needs you right now. Future Sally will be better if you take care of yourself now. No one is responsible for that, but yourself. Whatever happens here on out, it was suppose to happen.

Be with yourself, be gentle, take care of yourself, find love in the broken parts of yourself. Don’t apologize, you’ll come out on top.

POV.

The way we see ourself vs. the way others see us.
It’s sooo different, the different point of views. We are much harder on ourselves and see the smallest flaws that no one would ever see or care about it. We make it hard and complicated to self love. It’s time to unlearn those negatives and start seeing ourselves with the same loving, outside POV.

WHAT OTHERS SEE (Boyfriend’s POV)

I will start off and say that I actually do like this picture that my boyfriend took of me. Yes, it’s also the backside of me, so you can’t see any flaws (except my messy hair lol). I usually like the pictures that my boyfriend takes of me over the selfies I try to take. When he takes the photos I can’t see myself, so I’m not trying so hard to pose to look good. He’ll also take a lot of photos of me when I’m not paying attention, so everything just looks more genuine and in the moment like the one above. Maybe it’s just me and I’m a weirdo, but when I look at his photos I look so different to myself. Almost like “wow I really look like that?”, but in a good way. I see myself in the same way that he sees me. It’s a nice little break away from my own thoughts.

HOW I SEE MYSELF (Self POV)

This picture was taken the same day just a couple hours later and from my POV. I don’t think this is a super bad picture of myself, but there’s flaws that I can see. I’m sure it’s more insecurities than body dysmorphia, but looking at the picture I can say that my upper arm is big and meaty, then I think I need to lose weight around the tummy area and do some squats. Which most people would say I’m insane to be thinking all of that because I’m small already, which I agree with somewhat. Yes, I’m small, but small in size not weight. I’m only 5 feet tall so to a lot of people I am small, but when it comes to weight it’s totally different. Seeing these two pictures, it’s hard to believe that they are both of me from the same day.

Learning to self love is tough because we see ourselves so differently day to day. It’s a daily battle, but find a way to love yourself even if it’s something so small. We see the smallest flaws and turn them into insecurities, so why can’t we try to love the small things instead? When things get tough, find a picture that someone else took of you and try to see yourself from their eyes and love something you haven’t seen before.
It’s time to be kinder to ourselves, to love ourselves the way we see originally see ourselves, the way we actually look. Be gentle to yourself and be gentle in your thoughts. Real self love. We owe that to ourselves, we deserve real self love.

Not For Them.

Do it for you, not for them.
Sounds pretty self explanatory if you ask me, but why is it so hard to do? Why do we sometimes fall into situations where we allow people to indirectly control our lives? It’s time for us to stop it.

Do it for you, not for them.
It’s easy to confuse the two. You might think that you are doing whatever it is for you, but it’s actually influenced by others opinions or actions. If your decisions or actions are being played down because of so people, are you really saving yourself or are you allowing that to control you? Yes, it might seem like going about things a certain way can make it better, but guess what? You are allowing so people to control and gaslight you. I said what I said.

Do it for you, not for them.
Don’t let the actions of others start to define you. It’s a new year and it’s time to let things go. You’ve been holding in too much. Release it, let it go. The least you can do for yourself is celebrate what makes you happy. You’re here to live for you. It’s okay to become a more private person, but don’t let the boundaries of that get blurred. Not everyone on earth is here to celebrate you or to celebrate with you. Not everyone will be genuinely happy for you and that’s okay. Do it for you, not for them.

SALLY ♡ T

If You Release The Past.

“If you release the past, you’ll move ahead and bloom at last. The heart grows and it knows you can glow.”
Gobi, Over the Moon

Whatever it is that you’re holding onto, I hope you’re not letting it hold onto you. Read it again. Whatever it is that you’re holding onto, I hope you can live on without it. Believe that you can. Whatever you’re holding onto, I hope you can move on from it. Let it go, you can. The time will come and your shoulders will be a little less tense and the pressure of the weight will lift, until then just keep going. You’ve made it this far already, you can make it more.

Some things just never feel fair and I’ll never understand why certain things have to happen. Maybe that’s the problem for me, I keep trying to understand the why and not just letting it go. I can recognize and acknowledge it, but how do I actually apply it and live it? I feel myself thinking, wondering, writing this over and over again. I can see the future without it, I can remember the past of it, but I just don’t know what to do with the present of it.

I’ve been told that my post have been relatable and has actually helped or brought some clarity and I’m happy that it has for those people. That’s one of the reasons why I started this blog. I hope as it has for you, that maybe one day it will for me. It’s so strange, but comforting at the same time.

Remember every moment we have is a chance for something new. Not every moment is the same, so allow it to come to you.

SALLY ♡ T