Category: Life

2023: April to June Photo Dump

Some of my favorite moments from April, May and June. This year is going by so quickly. We’re already have way through, insane. Slow down, so I can have more time this year please!

APRIL

MAY

JUNE

Gentle.

gen·tle
having or showing a mild, kind, or tender temperament or character.

Gentle. What a word I crave to have. A word I crave to feel. Gentle.
Gentle life, gentle love, gentle thoughts, gentle feelings and feeling gentle. What a thing to crave. I have been in something nothing close to gentle, it was everything opposite, all the while I was trying to be gentle.

Gentle love. Love is suppose to be gentle. Love should be gentle. Real love is gentle. You should be valued during your good and your bad moments. You should be respected in heated moments. Your boundaries should be respected. They should always consider you and your feelings in situations, they should consider your opinions and validate your feelings. You should be trusted with making your own decisions and that theirs isn’t always the right way. They shouldn’t assume that only they know better. You should never have to be gaslit or manipulated. A gentle love is where they are so thankful to have you in their life and they show you that in the most genuine way without any extra intentions behind it. In a gentle love, you are the priority. It’s just you. You shouldn’t have to question the little things or the way they act or their love for you. You should never be left wondering if they care about you. Love is suppose to be gentle and I crave exactly that.

Gentle thoughts and feelings. To have a gentle mind and heart again, I want that. To have a gentle mind that’s quiet with your thoughts or to have a gentle heart that won’t make you feel sad the moment you are no longer busy and can put your day away. They don’t necessarily have to be empty, but light and kind. Not filled with rage, sadness, doubt, etc. Something that is quieter than what it has been. Something more loving and not broken. I crave that.

I am tired and drained from everything not being gentle.

A Life For Me.

Sometimes you dream about a life for yourself and it’s simply just a dream to you. It doesn’t feel achievable at all. That’s what I feel 100% about mine. My dreams seem unattainable at times because of the way that life has been dealt to me and honestly just how I am as a person. I am someone who will puts others before myself at anytime. I just can’t help it. It’s a great trait, but it has also caused me to stop living for myself. If you’re like that too, I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to step back and start living for yourself. It’s the only way to get to your dreams. You are your own roadblock.

A long time ago, I attended college, but I pretty much dropped out before the end of the year. Long story short, I made myself available more to my family and put my own life path to the side. It stuck and continued on for years and school was not a thing that could happen for me. I tried many times to reenroll, but I felt like if I decided to not be as available, then I was being selfish and I couldn’t let my tiny little humans have that type of inconsistency in their life. I don’t think I would change it if I had the chance to go back, but I do wonder a lot where I would be if I had chosen myself first.

The good thing is once you find a better way to juggle life and a better way to express your boundaries, then you can start working at your dreams. It took me moving away to a different state to learn all that and being away for a bit to even have the space to think about myself. So once you find your way, it’ll get better. Don’t be afraid of what others will think or feel because those around you, that love you, will always support you. I’m moving forward in small steps and changes are slowly happening for me. My dreams are looking a little better and I think I can actually name specific goals for myself now. I know you can make it happen for yourself too! Start living your life for you ♡

2023: January to March Photo Dump

New blog post series? Yes, we LOVE those! Every few months, I’ll post my favorite photos or videos from each month. The point of living is to live and I’m trying my best to do just that. A little trail of memories you can say.

JANUARY

FEBRUARY

MARCH

What’s Been Up, Sally?

What’s been up? What’s been up? What’s been up? What’s been up?

Hi, hello again SALLY ♡ THINGS readers! Yes, it’s really me. I’m coming back into existence. Here’s an update, so feel free to skip too. I’m just talking about life, but lets get into it, What’s been up?

Well … you see … life has been really life-ing. Lifing or life-ing? But like REALLY. Both in good and bad ways. I was going through it when the last blog was posted plus some more, then of course it calms down. Things start to come together a little and then it takes a sharp turn in another direction that I did not see coming, but it feels good. It feels familiar, but it’s also new at the same time. I just don’t really know how to navigate it and how I feel about it. I just can’t fully accept it just yet, I need to be cautious, I need to look out for me. More time goes on and I’m fighting some demons, ignoring others and starting to accept some. Then we go to the most recent obstacle life has thrown in the way and I still can’t even wrap my head around that one.

You know at the same time, I’m living life. I’m free, I’m starting to feel light, my personality is starting to shine again. I’m literally feeling more like myself and I’m loving myself more. The love is there, it’s still there, it’s always been there. I feeling like I’m growing into the same me, but also a newer, better me. I feel like I’m in this little phase of healing, glowing, loving, and just shining. Which I will admit feels very bizarre because I’m also so stressed. You can really see the stress or burn out on me, specifically on my skin and hair and with my drinking that I had fallen back into too. Is this the non-linear path that they call healing?

Both of my jobs are keeping me busy and I’m very blessed to have them. It’s going on month three of being an assistant to a modeling agency here in my hometown and even though I’m doing light work for them right now, I’m learning a lot of skills that I could use for myself and for my own social media/branding. I’m very thankful for this opportunity that was given to me. My other job, I’m happy to be working in an environment that really sees my effort and worth. Yes, It’s a pretty high-stress work environment, but it works with me and provides for me.

My drinking? It got really intense since I moved back to Michigan last year and while I was impressed with it myself, it was going down a rocky path. I’ve been really working on consistently slowing it down and there’s been a lot of improvement there. Gym? It was starting and I did go for about 3 weeks. Then I fell behind, but that’s okay. I have time to get back into it and I really wasn’t going with intentions of a body goal, but going because I know it’s good for my health. To be honest, I’m loving how I look now, it’s already different from how I saw it before and I think it’s that self love that I’ve really been working on. Talking about self love, my skin? I’ve going through the trenches with that one, but it doesn’t bother me where I’m feeling insecure about it. Maybe because of my severe facial eczema as a kid helped me with my own feelings and securities? I know the cause of the breakouts are from being off of a medicine that I’ve been taking for at least 10 years and my hormones were regulated heavily by it. Something out of my control.

Which BTW, **(rant incoming)** remember that when you move to a different states that there could be different rules and regulations. So your doctor that you had in your previous state, might not be able to legally prescribe medications in the state you moved too. Leading you to having to find a new doctor, but before that you have to switch health insurance from the previous state to one in the current state you live in that will cover you and then you to find a doctor that can prescribe what you need. All the while, a lot of doctors are constantly changing their status of if they are accepting new patients or not. Then your new insurance cards are taking a long time to mail to you and the doctor can’t fit you in until April/May so you have to wait until they have a cancellation in an earlier spot, so you you can take that time slot. It was a fun time 🙂

Then this will be in another post with more details and links soon, but if you haven’t seen yet, my one year old nephew recently got diagnosed with leukemia. That has been the biggest life challenge and it’s been very hard. I don’t think I have my head fully wrapped around it yet because how could that be? He’s only 1 year old, a sweet and innocent baby. Life is not fair to kids and it makes me want to cry every minute I think about it. Even until recently, he’s looked and has been super healthy and then one day he just was very sick. Next, he was diagnosed and put in chemotherapy treatment the next day. It really happened all so quick. That’s my little chubbs.

I’m tired and starting to feel burnt out. It seems like catching a break is not in my 2023 plans. What I can look forward too though is the support that I have with my friends and family around me. Without them, I would have been pushed over the edge already. So really, thank you to all of them. It definitely means the world to me. When you are at low points in life, you also find yourself having high point moments. It’s the way life works, we need the bad to see and appreciate the good stuff coming. The world just keeps moving, so I need to keep moving too or at least attempt to. Here’s that update, what’s been up Sally?

2023.

New year, new goals? Not really me this year. I want to continue to work on things from 2022 and finish them in 2023 if it’s possible. I want to pick up what I left behind and make them even better and make them for me and only me. New year, same thing, more healing and growth.

2023, I hope you are kinder than 2022. I hope you are filled with more love and laughs. Whether it’s intimate love or platonic love, just more of it please. More love for me. I hope the tears cried from last year watered something special and not just my pillows. If I absolutely have to cry this year, I hope it’s all tears of joy. I hope to grow more from last years things, situations, lessons and people. I want to grow. I hope to find my peace, the real peace. I hope to eventually be at peace. I hope you are filled with time that is just for me. I hope I get time for myself to enjoy and slow down my life. I hope you’re filled with more time in general. Time, I need time, I want time. Maybe if you could also be a little easier with me. I’ve gotten fragile. I would love if you could help me heal instead of showing me what I need to heal from, I think I pretty much got the point or the message. I hope you are filled with travels, with adventure and great captured memories. I hope all the bad days will help me shine just as bright as my good ones. I’ll do the work this year, I’ll do all of it.

We’re starting 2023 a little late over here at SALLY♡THINGS, but here’s an update. 2023, it’s already been a busy one with both good and bad. It’s has to start somewhere right? The new year started with love. Remember more love. With that love, it came with time and with the time it came with healing. I am starting out strong even though it doesn’t feel like it. I’m still here.
2023 is the year to focus more on myself and be selfish with it and to finally take advantage of that. I’ve accepted a second job that is different from what I’m use too, but something that will give me experience in something that I have been getting more and more passionate about. I am truly excited for that and what it’ll bring. I’ve come a long way and I’m willing to go much further.

I Just Want to Love You.

I can love your tears and the way you love too hard. I’ve learn to love the way you feel emotions and how deeply you hurt. I’m doing as much loving as I can while you go through what you are going through.

But sometimes, I just want to love your smiles and I just want to love your glow. I want to love your warmth, your laughs, your spark. I want to love the person you are when you feel the fullest. I want to love you the way you want to be loved, the way you deserve to be loved. Don’t worry, take your time, but you have to get there first.

I just want to love you. I just want to love me. I’m not done loving me yet.

Drunk Thoughts: More Like Just a Few Glasses of Wine.

For those who “want the tea”, this is MY blog. Let me set everything now.

I don’t know if I would consider this as ‘drunks thoughts’ because honestly I’m not drunk. I don’t even feel tipsy, I have just had a few (four, yes four) glasses of wine. If you have seen me lately, you know it doesn’t have ton of affect on me anymore, BUT I am still under the influence. It can still count right? Anyways, let’s do a check in.

It’s been a while since I’ve written or posted a blog. September 8 to be exact and today is November 8, so 2 months exactly. Yes, I took some time to myself and I took time for me to figure out what my life is going to be like and then I went through some things and I needed to figure out where I was going to be. I’ve hid, I’ve disappeared, I’ve acted crazy, I’ve joked around, I went through these crazy ups and downs, I’ve made mistakes, I’ve loved while being broken, I’ve been dealing with this broken version of me. I’ve done everything during those two months to present time. I was someone who I did not want to be, I was someone who I wanted to be and I was someone who I didn’t think I would become. To this day I’m still going through the motions and trying to become someone who just understands that I did what I could. It just wasn’t it. That’s the hardest part of it all, I want to blame myself for everything when it has nothing to do with my actions.

I still have a long way to go with everything. I know it’s going to be journey of ups and down, but at the end I just need to focus on me and my wellbeing. I have to be selfish right now and that’s very new to me. I would also like to ask everyone if they can respect my boundaries. I don’t want to hear or know of anything. I think I’ve heard enough already and that was more than what I could handle… If you have any words of wisdom or encouragement for myself, I’ll be more than willing to accept that instead. There’s still so much love coming and pouring out from me and that love will continue be there for a long time, just respect my boundaries.

I’m not proud of some of the things I’ve succumbed too. I’m not proud of the actions I’ve taken or some of the words I’ve said, but I do understand that I acted out because of how I felt emotionally and I would like to make a public apology. It ended up spilling out to more parties than just the one.
I’m sorry. I know that if I was on that receiving side, I would have been livid or annoyed even if it was “understandable”. I hold myself accountable, that is not the person I think that I am nor wish to be. I let the worst get to me and I let what I’ve been trying to heal break. I know I apologized before, but I hope this reaches to those who it effected.

For those who “want the tea”, this is MY blog and this is what you get out of me. I’ll get what I deserve, they’ll get what they deserve and you’ll get what you deserve whether it’s good or bad. At this point please forget about me and leave all that negativity behind. I’m not fighting you or fighting for anyone or anything, but myself. I’ve removed myself a few months now, your problem is who you have been fighting with me for. Take it up with them, I wasn’t the one to begin with and definitely not the one now.
Maybe take it up with yourself and finally hold yourself accountable. Stop lying to yourself and find peace within you. Hurt people hurt other people and like you, I need to find my way through too.

This is my piece and I acknowledge it’ll get passed around. I get to be selfish now, so please pass it around whether it’s with pure intentions or ill intentions.

Here’s my truth.

Just A Little Lost.

As I’m entering this phase of my life, I can’t help but to feel a little lost. Even though I’m back to the environment that I grew up in, I’m not the same person. I don’t have the same goals, I’m not looking to pick up where I left off or behind. I want to say everything is the same as how I left it, but it’s not. Things have changed. I some what feel like maybe I don’t belong here or fit in as well as I did. With all that going on, some things do feel the same, but I don’t feel the same way about it. How do you go from a place that you only ever knew, leave for a little over a year, then come back and it almost feels like a new place to you?

Identity crisis? Feeling like an outsider? Did I grow out from this place that fast?
I want different things for myself and I came back to do that, but how really different are the things I want? Can I even get to those here? Where do I belong, where do I feel settled? A thought that comes across a lot lately is did I make the right move or did I just set myself back? I don’t know any of these answers and that’s something I have to try to be okay with. It all has me feeling lost. I thought I had it figured out and that what I saw was clear as day. The reality of it is that it’s not clear as day and it’s actually more confusing. I’m feeling lost.

I know it won’t be like this forever and I just have to let go of the control that I would like to have in my life and let things go and flow. I know things that are meant to be will find its way to me. I know. It’s just hard to keep that positive mindset all the time when I’m not feeling positive all the time. Things take time, but sometimes I feel like I don’t have patience to wait. Things will come when you stop looking for it, so I need to stop looking. I need to be okay with feeling lost for a bit.