Category: Life

Things That Just Come Into Your Life.

Things will come into your life when you least expect it or when you are ready even when you don’t feel like you are. I don’t know why or how, it just does. They all have some sort of place or lesson for you. There’s always a reason and it will stay present in your everyday life, in every way possible until you decide to accept it.

I am allowing myself to accept things. I am allowing myself to accept everything, I am not running, I choose to heal, I choose to improve myself. It’s hard to always allow yourself to be that open especially when it comes with a whole range of emotions. It’s not always pretty, but I’ve been starting to see different things or signs that I’ve never noticed before and it’ll fit so well with what I am struggling with. It’s crazy to think about how the placement of certain situations and actions in your life.

SAL.LY ♡ T

If You Are Looking For…

this is for you.

What you’re looking for is pure. What you want is gentle and soft even when everything becomes fragile and hard. Someone who will love the moonlight that makes you, more than your sunlight that makes others. Someone who will love your messy days and will love you more after. Someone who knows your flaws as well as they know your perfections. Someone that will take on some of your frustrations and stress with you because they can see it’s taking something away from you. Someone who wants to lessen the weight on your soul. They’ll know how to love you in all the ways you didn’t. They’ll love you in every way that you hoped. Someone who will choose you on bad days just as much as on good days. Everything you feel is your imperfections will be everything they view as your perfections. Being around them will just make you feel in balance.

You deserve it, you do.

SALLY ♡ T

Conversations: Asian Americans.

I came across this channel on Youtube called Jubilee and watched quite a few of their videos and it really got me thinking about my answers and opinions as well. There’s different episodes, but in each they bring in a group of people of the same or different race or people who believe in this or that and ask them questions. The group of people then stand on a scale of strongly disagree to strongly agree or sit down if they agree with said statement and just talk it out with one another. It’s such a nice safe space for these people to get their opinions or experiences out there about general topics or about those hard topics that most will stay quiet about. Maybe this will become a new blog series that I’ll continue to write about or not, but I just wanted to share where I am with this video called “Do All Asian Americans Think the Same?” | Spectrum (the video is at the bottom of the blog)

I think it’s great to watch videos like these especially with how society has been. A lot has happened within the last few decades, let alone the last 4 years. It’s time to start having these deeper conversations or just more conversations in general. I’m starting off with this video because I do identify with Asian American, I’m Vietnamese and American born. For me, it’s not like I have forgotten my cultural traditions or values, but I don’t really discuss them enough. So I’ll take some questions or statements from the video and discuss it. Just want to remind everyone that I am not the spokesperson for the whole community or race or the people that I hang out with! This is just me.

I have felt pressure to date within my own race.
Luckily, my parents have never put that idea onto me. They have mentioned it a couple of times, but they always made it known that it’s okay if I don’t. They don’t have a preference on another race either, so I was allowed to date whoever. Now when it comes to outside my family, like within the Vietnamese community here, I do feel the pressure. Weird right? Well I’ve gone to the Viet supermarkets, stores, hair salons, or nail salons and they’ll always ask me who I’m dating and what race they are, then make some comments like “oh, he’s not Vietnamese, why not? You need to find a Viet guy and keep the culture alive.” I disagree with that so much. I can still keep my culture alive still with whoever I’m with, it’s not passed down through blood, but through teachings.
Asian stereotypes are funny.
I think this is kind of a broad statement and you’ll see why, but my answer is yes and no. I have a lot to say about this. So asian stereotypes put on the asian group by non-asian are not funny at all. The typical asians are good at math, asians are bad drivers, asians have chinky eyes, asians eat dogs/cats etc. are just so outplayed, it’s not true for everyone. Stereotypes have a big influence in judging certain groups of people and most times they are negative. I think when I wasn’t up to par with some of those stereotypes, people I went to school with who were non-asians wouldn’t judge me differently, but they wouldn’t identify me as asian or downplay that I was asian. I heard a lot of “oh Sally, you’re not THAT asian” or “omg, you don’t like to watch anime or make boba? I’m more asian than you.” Which actually did hurt my feelings and made me feel a type of way, but I didn’t know how to correctly speak about it back in high school, so I would just agree with them. Now if it’s my asian friends and I talking about stereotypes within our different asian races, then they can be funny, but that’s because they aren’t so negative or downplaying their identities. Big emphasis on CAN BE FUNNY though.
I do want to point out that a lot of asian stereotypes are positive compared to other races and the stereotypes that are put on them.
Asian people have it easier than other minorities.
I would have to agree with that statement. I do think that asian people have it easier than other minorities even within the last few years and with covid happening. Yes, it’s very unfortunate and sad that covid has brought out more racism towards asians and it breaks my heart to see. Yes, we asians still have it harder than some minorities, but bigger picture we do have it easier. What asians are experiencing with covid, others have been experiencing for decades and on a more worst scale. Stereotypes on asians are also easier on asians, the “popular” stereotypes are majority positive. The reality of it is, asian minorities are more accepted in the United States with white people and I think it’s because of the history between the two and that asians have conformed with the American way. I don’t know how to really explain it, but I can see it or have experienced it personally. I do think Americans use Asians to their advantage sometimes to compare to other minorities or for other uses, when it’s good for them if that makes any sense.

Like I said earlier I do not represent a whole community or other people, but myself. I am up to having more in depth conversations and hearing other opinions, so feel free to comment or contact me. I want this to be a safe space of free discussion. I do not tolerate hate or racism though, so please don’t come around with that. Give me feedback on if I should do more post like this. Watch the video below and the others on their channel! Keep conversations going with the people around you.

SALLY ♡ T

What I Want From 2021.

I’m not going to sit up here and say “new year, new me” because honestly I like who I am and how I am, but there are a couple adjustments that I feel would be better for me. I already found myself a while ago, but it’s hard trying to be that same person without falling in or getting sucked back into old toxic ways. I can tell you that it’s been a real struggle for the past year and a half.

I can agree that I fell back into old ways. I’ve felt like I had to prove myself to others when I really didn’t have too. I felt like I had to save myself when my name was getting dragged in the dirt, when my intentions and actions were made out of love. I let that whole thing eat me alive and I really let it get to me.
I’m gonna talk my shit now, but I really let a person who couldn’t speak or message me without hiding behind multiple fake accounts have so much of my energy. How stupid was I to let that happen continuously? You want to know the worst part of it all? I felt sympathy for this person because I know it all came from hurt, but I was too hurt and mad myself to go about things another way and I got sucked right into the toxic part of it. Before anyone gets ideas and decides to anonymously message me saying that this person wasn’t the only one to create the problem, I know that. I’m not blaming just one side, I’ve been fully aware, this side just happened to be the one that became public. I can also admit and take full responsibility that I fueled a fire and kept it going. What I won’t say is sorry though, I defended my own ass in any way that it felt necessary because a lot of people let all that shit slide and did absolutely nothing, but watch. They wanted the show and we gave that to them.

Now what I want from 2021 is to heal and find my peace with everything I just mentioned and everything else surrounding it. I want to move on and fully forgive myself, my person and all the others. I don’t want to carry this hate and sadness around anymore, that’s just not who I am. What I want from this year is to be able to let go and move on. I don’t want to feel like I have to watch my own back 24/7 whenever I’m in public. I want to be able to meet new people without having to feel like I have to be cautious and question if their intentions are actually genuine or not. Everything that I can do and feel over here is what I want it to be like again there. If you are reading this with ill will, I’m okay with us being complete strangers to each other. I understand that not everyone is for each other and really that’s okay. We can make it mutually known and I won’t ever bother you. I’d rather have that than someone faking to like me because I’m dating this person or cause I hang out with these people. I am not defined by some other person. I can respect the honesty of it.

I know what I want and hope for will take some time and it might not even be this year, but any step closer is good enough for me.
Because I’m going to read this plenty of times through out the year, a reminder, YOU chose to pick love when it was the last thing you felt and YOU did nothing wrong by that. Vivi con amore.
I talked my shit and now I’m leaving it here.

SALLY ♡ T

Not For Them.

Do it for you, not for them.
Sounds pretty self explanatory if you ask me, but why is it so hard to do? Why do we sometimes fall into situations where we allow people to indirectly control our lives? It’s time for us to stop it.

Do it for you, not for them.
It’s easy to confuse the two. You might think that you are doing whatever it is for you, but it’s actually influenced by others opinions or actions. If your decisions or actions are being played down because of so people, are you really saving yourself or are you allowing that to control you? Yes, it might seem like going about things a certain way can make it better, but guess what? You are allowing so people to control and gaslight you. I said what I said.

Do it for you, not for them.
Don’t let the actions of others start to define you. It’s a new year and it’s time to let things go. You’ve been holding in too much. Release it, let it go. The least you can do for yourself is celebrate what makes you happy. You’re here to live for you. It’s okay to become a more private person, but don’t let the boundaries of that get blurred. Not everyone on earth is here to celebrate you or to celebrate with you. Not everyone will be genuinely happy for you and that’s okay. Do it for you, not for them.

SALLY ♡ T

I Had To Grow Up Early.

I had to grow up at an early age and most people don’t really know that about me or know exactly what that means. At that time I didn’t know what that would mean either. I had to grow up to help raise my first niece, but before you think I’m complaining about it, I’m not. Honestly, I wouldn’t trade that part of me for anything else in the world.

12 years ago today in 2009, my first niece was born and I was only 12 in 8th grade. My sister was only in 10th grade and her baby daddy? All I’m going to say is I’d punched him again LOL. Anyways, when they say it takes a village to raise a child, they are not lying at all. My sister was super-mom, my mom was grandma-mom and I was auntie-mom. The 3 of us (with the help of others) gave it our all for this precious little baby. She really became my everything. I always liked kids before her, but when I held her for the first time I just fell in love. You can thank Anastasia for my maternal instincts and my crazy baby fever. I wasn’t her mom, but I filled in that position when my sister was at work or at school. Guys, when I say she was a super mom, she IS a super mom.

My favorite story is that I actually came up with her name because she almost was named some Japanese word or Serenity. If you’re wondering if I got her name from the movie, then you are 100% correct. I love the movie Anastasia and I really think the name is beautiful. I take full credit for her name and I also take the #1 auntie award. There’s no doubt that I’m the favorite auntie.

I put her in front of everything. I even pushed some of my education to the side so my sister could get her work done and have somewhat of her remaining teenage life by watching the baby. I don’t regret any of it. Like I said, I wouldn’t trade this part of me for the world because if it was for this little girl I wouldn’t be as loving, patient, and selfless. If I’m being really honest, she’s a big part of how I’m able to welcome a special little guy into my life. Having to help raise her and how she was like my own really opened that part of me.

Anastasia is now a preteen that is just doing it all and I couldn’t be any happier. She makes me so proud. Time really goes by so fast, if she could be small again like in these photos, I would just hold her in my arms forever and never let go. She’ll always be my little Anachacha.

Anastasia, one day you’ll see all my post about you and you’ll see all the pictures and I just want you to know how much I love you and how much you mean to me. I will always be there for you. I can’t wait to see you (but yes I can very much wait) become this amazing young woman, knowing that I had a part of it. You are so loved and I hope you feel that all the time. Happy birthday Anastasia! ♡

SALLY ♡ T

Another One Of Those Cheesy New Years Post.

H A P P Y N E W Y E A R S !!! We barely made it to 2021, but we did it, it’s here. I don’t have much expectations going into it because I did that with 2020 and HAHAHA. Sorry for the honesty or to rain on your parade, but all your problems carry over into the new year. HAHAHA, LETS GOOOOO.

I did want to come here to remind you to not expect too much and things aren’t going to change overnight, but you do have the power to change things. You just have to really want it and you have to allow it to come. You have to actually accept it deep down. Allow yourself to forgive what needs to be forgiven whether it’s with someone else or within yourself. Allow yourself to let go of things that aren’t for you. It’s okay to not understand certain things, just accept that.

It’s nice to come up with some new year resolutions, I think it’s a nice way to re-guide yourself and give some sort of rebalance to your life whether you end up sticking with it or not. Here are a couple that I’ve had in the past:

◗ Don’t get so caught up with work
◗ Take more time for myself
◗ Take more pictures
◗ Choose whatever I feel is best for me
◗ Trust your feelings
◗ Do whatever makes me happy

Obviously, those are super basic things, but I still find myself pushing them to the side. Things that I still struggle to find the balance of. I wrote those back in 2018 and here they are still on my list for 2021. Don’t only work on your top layers, but work on your base, your foundation. It’ll only make you a better person in the end. Remember to make sure that you are doing it for yourself and not for someone else, it’s more rewarding to do things for yourself. 2021 is about YOU. I hope this year can bring the understanding, the forgiving, and the peace that we all need. I genuinely hope 2021 brings you and I whatever our souls need. I hope 2021 can heal.

SALLY ♡ T

The Happy of 2020: Part Two.

I’m not feeling too happy right now, so maybe this will help me. Let’s get on with it before the year ends. Part two, The Happy.

I went to Florida. I know it’s a pandemic and I also kind of hate myself for traveling too. Just know that I made sure that I did what I could to protect myself and others when I did leave and come back. I really didn’t have too much time to take for myself, nor could I take off until my job closed for a little, so I took full advantage of it. Was it the smartest? Probably not. Anyways that trip was a fun get away from life trip for me. It sparked something in me that felt like I was losing. You find a little bit of yourself everywhere you explore.

This specific Sunday. There was this one Sunday funday that my two friends and I had around the town and we did everything that we could do downtown. Even though we talked about how men are trash the whole day, I had so much fun with them. Knowing that I could be that person for them is everything. I value my friendships so much. It started off with a brunch, then to one of my favorite rooftop bars. A rooftop bar in October, where the weather was almost too perfect for that time of year. After the rooftop, we went to our local candle making shop and then going to get food again after. We went to the cutest spots. I have the cutest friends. I really love them and this year has taken away a lot of experiences that I would’ve had with them. (Sorry, suppose to be happy, lol.) I LOVE MY MOTHER FUCKING FRIENDS. PERIODT.

All I’m going to say about this next one is my Mr. Sweetface. He has been a huge happy part of my year.

All holiday celebrations. The holidays are a little hard for me and my situation, but even during a pandemic things worked out. I’m blessed to be surrounded by such loving people that know how to celebrate. I’m very blessed to be spending tonight with people that I know will be the closest to me for the rest of my life. Without these people I don’t know where I would be. I’m going to cry tonight, I know it. I can just feel it. About the good and bad, but I know they’ll make me forget about it all and help bring love and laughter into the New Year with me.

I know I was a little negative in this ones, but you get the point haha. There’s just some things you can’t do anything about, so you just have to accept it and try to just let it go. Just make sure to surround yourself with love and loved ones tonight, you at least deserve that. We’re going to all be okay. Happy New Years Eve and a Happy New Year!

SALLY ♡ T 

The Happy Of 2020: Part One.

I’ve been writing a lot about the bad of 2020, so I wanted to lighten up the mood with the good things that came my way this year. If you haven’t noticed yet, I’m a sad girl and when I say that I mean it in the ‘sad boi club’ way. There’s just something about me that just is attracted to sadness I guess.

Let’s go start with the beginning of the year, pre-pandemic, with my job promotion. I got promoted to assistant manager at my workplace and this is the first job that I have ever gotten promoted at. I went from being a hostess to assistant manager and I think I’ve done the best that I could, given the circumstances of this year. The restaurant is still up and alive, so I couldn’t have been that awful. I really am proud of myself for the hard work that I’ve put in to have earned the promotion. I feel super honored that everyone believed that I could fill in the spot and most coworkers made me feel so welcomed and appreciated. I really hope I made a difference there.

Right at the beginning of our quarantine phase, I was suppose to attend a show in Chicago of my favorite artist. Unfortunately, that got cancelled due to everything shutting down, but I still kept the weekend off and spent it in Wisconsin with my boyfriend. Well that weekend, turned to a week, turned into three months. Yep, a three month stay with my boyfriend and his family. Being a long distance relationship, you don’t get to do one of those often. I wrote a little about it in a previous blog post, so I’ll spare the details here. Being long distance has it’s ups and downs, so being able to be together everyday like a regular couple was very needed.

A rest. Because of things shutting down, my job shut down for a couple of months and boy did I need that. My life was getting consumed by work and that was wearing and tearing me down. I got to find the balance between my mental health and everything else in my life. I had the time to put into myself. It was hard at first and I still struggle with it now, I feel more connected with myself and not like i’m just going through life like a robot. I now know how to set up boundaries between work, social and personal life. I am also caught up with all the sleep that I’ve ever missed.

I fucking did something that I never thought I would ever do, but glad that I did. I BARELY conquered, but conquered a 8 mile hike with a 14,278′ elevation, Grays Peak. For somewhere who is not an active person at all, I fucking did that shit. I’m so proud of myself, it was crazy. We went hiking within 12 hours of being in Colorado, my lungs were not having it. You can also read about all of that here! In the blog post, I said I wouldn’t do it again, but I’m over that and would love to go on another hike like that. It’s rewarding and beautiful.

I turned 25 this year. The day after I got back from Colorado and had a lovely charcuterie board birthday picnic with my friends. I am a quarter of a century now! This year I’ve learned that time really does go by fast and in a blink of an eye, you just grow up. I’m very blessed to have everything that I do and very blessed to have all these people around me that love the shit out of me. This year I’ve really seen who is there for me, through the good and the bad. I really love this life that I was given. I talk all this shit sometimes, but really I’m having a good time. People can sit there and say I’m not doing anything with my life and try to belittle me, but I know where I’m at and at least I’m doing everything that makes me happy.

As I started typing, just more and more good things starting coming up, so this will be broken up into parts. I’ll post the second part soon! Sometimes it is nice to type up positive stuff, maybe I’ll try to start to doing that more often, lol. I also have another giveaway soon as well, so keep an eye out for that blog post to come out and follow me on Instagram for the notifications!

SALLY ♡ T 

Biggest Challenges of 2020: Free Time.

Most blogs show you the flawless side of that person’s life, the highest highs, the happiest happy. Well as you have probably read, not mine, but that’s what I like so much about having a blog without a centralized theme. I get to have the freedom of being able to post whatever I want, whenever I want.

FREE TIME.

There was so much free time for me this year and I had no idea what to do with myself. That was the hardest because then I realize without working Sally and this busy lifestyle that I have, who really am I? Without the fancy music festivals and without being around my friends, who am I? Who is the basic, stripped down version of me? I really thought I knew already, but I really didn’t know. Some time along the way, I lost sense of who I was and with this pandemic all I had was this free time to sit in it.

When was the last time I had three months of absolutely nothing to do? Most likely, never. I’ve been working since my freshman year in high school. So to me without work was such a big change in my life. It’s good to be recognized as a hard worker, but there’s so much more that I would rather be known for. Work is not my life. With all that time I just thought about: What were my hobbies? What would I do with my 24 hour days? I tried out a lot of different things to try to figure it out. I didn’t realize that I had gotten so caught up in the work and party life that when work and bar/club/party life was shut down, I felt like I was left with nothing. I tried keeping up with artist virtual streams and perler making as a crafting hobby. I tried beading/making cool rave candies and watching different genres of movies and shows to see if there was something I’ve missed. I’ve tried being more active and taking daily walks, I even went hiking and I don’t ever hike. I even started this blog as a hobby. I’ve tried so many different things this year to try to find what I like or what will potentially stick with me and what one brings out the best of me. Many things came and go and a few stayed, but sometimes I feel like I’m still looking.

With free time, you have to keep yourself busy or you just kind of sit there in your head with your thoughts and mine are not all that pretty. Another problem that I’ve faced with having all this free time. Instead of thoughts getting swept under the rug, they are all just there and pretty loud. I had to actually face them and find a way to correctly heal those thoughts. Strange how it all is.

Anyways, I think this might be something that I’ll still have to adjust to still going into 2021. It’s a slow progress, but I’m getting the hang of it. I’m learning a lot about who I am and who I want to be.
F r e e T i m e .

SALLY ♡ T