Hello, Sally here. A thirty year old trying to discover her way through life. I've started this blog so I can get a little deeper and more intimate with my thoughts. I enjoy journaling on my own time, so I can go back and read for reminders and remember life lessons. I decided to expose some of that vulnerability in hopes that someone else can take something from it too. This is for me as much as it is for others, so this is a little something for us who just feel. ♡
Your apology needs to be as big as the disrespect that you gave. We’re heading straight into it, no intro bullshit. Your apology needs to be as big as the disrespect that you gave. Whether it’s publicly or privately to that person, you need to stop and think about what you have caused, own your shit, learn from that shit, and take the lesson and grow from it. Be accountable for you actions.
I’m tired of seeing people trying to save their own face and image when they know they were 100% in the wrong or when they decide to make themselves as the victim instead because they just can’t own up that they were actually the villain that time. You need to apologize because your actions not only affected yourself, but to whoever was involved and who you did it too. Like I said, publicly and privately, you own it to those people or person. If everyone just owned up, was accountable, and grew from their mistakes the world would really just be a better place.
If you felt even one ounce offended, then this is for you. I’m not perfect, I have my own tea that I’ve been working on and I can admit that. I’m learning and growing as much as I can through the years and applying it on how I can just be a decent human being. You can do it too.
If I had the opportunity to go back into time, I would go back to you and hug you for the both of us. Lord knows you were going to need it and I know I need it now. We’re the same person, but in such two different realities. I need it for the strength, for the encouragement, to appreciate how far I’ve come and because I miss that twinkle in my eye. You need it for the moment, for what’s to come, for who you are, and also for the strength. I wouldn’t go back and say sorry or try to change anything. Not because I think it was meant to happen, but because I don’t know any of the what if’s and I’d rather not try to think about it. It would be maddening either way and in every other different way anyways.
For the both of us, I would go back in time, enjoy that moment with you, remember what it was like and hug you. That hug would have been everything to you because that hug was what I needed and was looking for and felt like I never got. So I would go back in time to hug you for the both of us. The twinkle wasn’t based on truth, but love and I miss that. Sometimes they are hand in hands and other times they aren’t. Balancing them when they aren’t isn’t the easiest, but you got here. You got me here, I’m here. “Without you I can’t be, you’re the universe to me. You’re the air in my lungs, you’re the fields where I run, you’re the sky where I’m floating.“
Seven Lions at Electric Forest 2019 | June 30, 2019 11:41 PM
The way we see ourself vs. the way others see us. It’s sooo different, the different point of views. We are much harder on ourselves and see the smallest flaws that no one would ever see or care about it. We make it hard and complicated to self love. It’s time to unlearn those negatives and start seeing ourselves with the same loving, outside POV.
WHAT OTHERS SEE (Boyfriend’s POV)
I will start off and say that I actually do like this picture that my boyfriend took of me. Yes, it’s also the backside of me, so you can’t see any flaws (except my messy hair lol). I usually like the pictures that my boyfriend takes of me over the selfies I try to take. When he takes the photos I can’t see myself, so I’m not trying so hard to pose to look good. He’ll also take a lot of photos of me when I’m not paying attention, so everything just looks more genuine and in the moment like the one above. Maybe it’s just me and I’m a weirdo, but when I look at his photos I look so different to myself. Almost like “wow I really look like that?”, but in a good way. I see myself in the same way that he sees me. It’s a nice little break away from my own thoughts.
vs
HOW I SEEMYSELF (Self POV)
This picture was taken the same day just a couple hours later and from my POV. I don’t think this is a super bad picture of myself, but there’s flaws that I can see. I’m sure it’s more insecurities than body dysmorphia, but looking at the picture I can say that my upper arm is big and meaty, then I think I need to lose weight around the tummy area and do some squats. Which most people would say I’m insane to be thinking all of that because I’m small already, which I agree with somewhat. Yes, I’m small, but small in size not weight. I’m only 5 feet tall so to a lot of people I am small, but when it comes to weight it’s totally different. Seeing these two pictures, it’s hard to believe that they are both of me from the same day.
Learning to self love is tough because we see ourselves so differently day to day. It’s a daily battle, but find a way to love yourself even if it’s something so small. We see the smallest flaws and turn them into insecurities, so why can’t we try to love the small things instead? When things get tough, find a picture that someone else took of you and try to see yourself from their eyes and love something you haven’t seen before. It’s time to be kinder to ourselves, to love ourselves the way we see originally see ourselves, the way we actually look. Be gentle to yourself and be gentle in your thoughts. Real self love. We owe that to ourselves, we deserve real self love.
What fulfills you? I think I’ve been avoiding this question for the past couple of years because I really don’t have a straight up answer or maybe I don’t really know what I want in life, maybe I wasn’t ready for the answer. I do admit, it’s hard to find the answer when you’re in your mid 20’s and you haven’t been able to fully experience life yet. So how can I come up with something? I’ve been kind of just floating through my life and having fun in whatever way I can. Maybe being that free is fulfilling to me, it works for me currently.
Like everyone else, I had to face some challenges and with the pandemic my daily lifestyle changed. We’ve all had to adjust in ways that completely flipped life as we know around. I was in a very unhappy and unsure spot in my life and I started to think more and more, what really fulfills me? What do I want out of life? What do I need for myself to feel like I’m living my best life? In the last couple of weeks, it’s all I can think about. I found myself stuck in yet another rut and as much as I want to blame it on the current moon cycle and astrology, it’s an all too familiar feeling. Let’s try connect the dots.
Sally, what fulfills you?
I’ve touched this topic a little bit within my therapy sessions, but there’s not enough time to get to an answer, so I did some searching on my own. To have a fulfilling life is to be happy living in the present moment. To build a sense of fulfillment, you need to stop thinking about what “should be” and start being grateful for “what is.” It’s a process of failures and victories, not being focused on one specific moment. You can find your fulfillment in all aspect in life like self-improvement, meaningful relationships, health & wellness, and career development. The more you learn and grow within those aspects, the happier you’ll become and building those habits will lead you to joy.
So where do we even start? Where can we find our certain aspects and what do we prioritize to get there? I found a blog post written by Brent Gleeson that had a great list and I’ll put some of my favorites below:
Build relationships over possessions.
Take what you can from life, but always give back.
Be accountable for your words and actions.
Be disciplined in your personal and professional life.
Expunge hate from your heart.
Pursue passions bigger than yourself.
Don’t hold on too tight.
Strive to improve a little bit everyday.
Working on these everyday even if it is just a few every week, you’ll start to see and feel something good grow from you. It isn’t easy and there will be failure, but it’s all part of the process. Without the feeling of failure, we wouldn’t know how it feels to succeed.
I think my fulfillment is changing because I’m in a new environment and experiencing a new life experience, so it’s trying to adjust. I do have some idea of my own, but I’m still figuring out the rest. Who knows, maybe I’ll never really have my answer until I’m well into my 30’s. Maybe I’ll never really have an answer at all because it changes with you throughout your life. It doesn’t hurt to start thinking about it though.
You might be wondering what is that word ‘Bánh Mì’ means. Well In literal translation from Vietnamese it means bread, but it holds so much more than that. It is childhood memories, it is adulthood, it is family time, it is history, it is culture and it is traditions plus many more. Bánh mì is a Vietnamese cuisine that is gaining popularity in the US.
Let’s go into a little bit of the history if it! Like I mentioned bánh mì translates to bread, but for the cuisine it uses a baguette that the French colonist introduced to Vietnam when it was still part of French Indochina along with some of the other ingredients. Sometimes it is called bánh mì thịt, just adding the word ‘meat’ to the end so you know it’s the person is talking about the sandwich and not about bread itself. Bánh mì has been considered a luxury cuisine a couple of times in history, during World War I and after the Fall of Saigon in 1975, but is now a common street food. It has become a staple food of Vietnam and if anyone remembers H’Hen Nie, Miss Vietnam 2018 wore bánh mì as her Miss Universe national costume.
There are different variations of these viet subs, but the ones that I will be comparing today are all Bánh mì đặc biệt which is a special combo sandwich. In these special combo sandwiches, you’ll find these ingredients:
• Vietnamese baguette • Sliced pork or pork belly • Chả lụa (pork sausage) • Head cheese or brawn • Fresh cucumber slices • Cilantro • Pickled carrots and white radish (shredded form) • Jalapeños • Maggi seasoning sauce • Mayonnaise • Liver pâté
I grew up eating these subs and I absolutely love them to this day. In the last month, I have tried 3 bánh mì đặc biệt from 3 different places, which happen to be all in different states. So here is from least liked to most liked.
The first place is from a restaurant in Madison, Wisconsin. I don’t really want to put the name of the restaurant out there because they have other foods that are really good. I had really good pho from them actually, so I won’t knock them down for just one food item. Their subs were okay though. I probably wouldn’t get any subs there again, but if someone else did they are still tasteful enough to eat. So one main ingredient that makes up a bánh mì đặc biệt is the bread right? I mean it’s in the name. Well the reason why they are my least liked is because their bread was flat, not airy like a baguette. It seemed like they scooped the breading out like how Jimmy John’s does? Also their bread was really wide and the inside ingredient portions did not match at all. The shredded pickled carrots and white radishes were all cut super thin where you could barely tell that there was any in it.
The second place is right down from where I grew up in Kentwood, Michigan at B&N Sandwiches located in the Golden Bridge Plaza. I’m probably a little bias, but the bread there has a nice crunch when you bite into it. The veggies are cut into good sized pieces, the only thing that I would change about it is the inconsistency of the sandwich. Sometimes there isn’t enough of one ingredient compared to the last time you bought some. Overall all, I would really recommend them to everyone!
The last place is from Ha Tien Super Market located in St. Paul, Minnesota. All the bánh mì that I have ever had, Ha Tien Super Market has made it the best! The bánh mì has a nice crunch to it, the inner ingredient portions are more than you can ask for. They really fill the baguette up. I really like cilantro too, so the amount of veggies that they throw on is perfect. *chefs kiss* I don’t know what else they use, but there is just way more flavor in their subs. I would travel again back to St. Paul just to get more. Might have to go back pretty soon to get some!!
I will always be trying other places, so there will be more food blogs on these Vietnamese subs! It’s nice being able to write foods that I grew up eating and that are a part of who I am. I’ll start doing more of these, it makes me feel a little more connected to my roots and my family since I moved away. The area I live in now doesn’t have too many Vietnamese restaurants like they do back in Michigan. I also wanted to quickly add that while bánh mì (and other Viet cuisines) are gaining popularity here in the US, please don’t try to take these dishes and americanize them to make a profit off of. Do not do what has been done to Mexican/Hispanic foods. Foods should be shared with others along with their traditions and origins, even if someone else puts their own twist on it, but shouldn’t be monetized. It’s quite insulting, but that’s another topic for another time.
Until next time though. Should Pho be next? Let me know in the comments or through my socials! Stay hungry♡
It isn’t one of those good days, I want to curl up in a ball and lay in bed all day. My brain really said “Hey Sally, fuck you. You’re not shit today <3” Everything you’ve been working on disappears as if that work never happened. It doesn’t exist. It’s hard to feel that when you thought you’ve moved way past it. The doubt of what you thought you achieved just sits there and eats you away making it hard to see the growth.
This may be a raw one. I’ve tried to protect it from coming out so much that today I just can’t do it anymore. Something that I wanted to keep private for me to process ended up coming out in a fire anyways and I’ve been fighting to put it out this whole time. I’m tired of fighting for myself.
To let it go. It’s been such a challenge and something I still haven’t figured out yet. Sometimes when something so heartbreaking or traumatic happens to you, you start to believe that maybe you did deserve it. For whatever reason why I may think it, I know at the same time that I didn’t deserve it, but it’s easier to believe I did. It’s the “easier” option for me to understand what or why it happened even if it hurts. Someone who loves you, but hurts you in ways they or you would never imagine, try to make that make sense. It’s heartbreaking. Now put where I’m at now into that and then try to make sense of that. Sometimes if feels like I’m fighting demons out here and the demon is myself, actually my own thoughts vs how I feel. The two peacefully agree most time, but then you have days like this where they switch up and play both sides. It’s this, but that, it’s that, but this. Tugging me back and forth and back and forth. I just want to lay down and rest or drink. A drink would be nice. To let it all go would be nice.
Self defense mechanisms, thank you, but also you are my worst enemy. Thank you for trying to soften the next unknown, but it’s not helping me personally with healing. I can’t keep holding on to this thing, I don’t want too. I want to make my peace and I want to move on. Let me do that, let me let it go.
Good morning everyone! I asked on my Instagram last month if I should start creating some wallpapers and a lot of you said yes, so here is my first set! I’m trying to figure the program I’m using out more and how to properly upload them so you guys can easily save it. Bare with me until then! 🙂 Any advice or help would be appreciated too.
So I made just a simple desktop and phone wallpaper and just one design for May. Eventually I’ll get to 2 or 3 designs. I don’t know if I can be consistent with a design every month, but I’ll try my best. Hope you enjoy them! ♡
For the past few months, I’ve been able to kind of reset, start over and change how I’ve lived my life. Something I didn’t think was possible because I felt so stuck in a routine that didn’t allow me to have any time for myself. I quit my jobs and moved which allowed and forced me to find out what I would like for myself and what I don’t want to fall back into. It is 3 AM and I’m sitting at a breakfast bar inside my room eating a cheese, meat and carrot box, drinking kombucha and feeling pretty happy and content with life.
One thing I’ve learned and trying to incorporate more is doing things on my own time. Waiting until it feels right for me and not rushing into things. I’m not talking about chores, but life decisions. It may be a great opportunity, but if it feels too rushed then it’s okay to say no. When the time is right for you, then go ahead and revisit it. If it’s not available then it wasn’t meant to be. Finding your own timing with things can be a little difficult, but when it’s time you’ll know.
Don’t let anyone tear you down for not doing something right away because it’s what they want for you or because it’s what they expect from you. Some people will even try to use your own timing to make you look bad and make themselves better because you seem happier than them. They just want what you have, pure jealousy. Choose schooling when you feel ready and motivated, choose that job that you’re happy to work at instead of the one where you make tons of money, but you’re completely miserable. You know what’s right for you and only you can live for yourself.
I’m taking this time to not only enjoy my freedom and getting to know my new area, but to make sure I’m choosing me correctly. Making sure I have time to actually make the right decisions. From school, work, and my life outside from those I don’t want anything less than happy. I’ve been doing things on my own time and I couldn’t be happier about it.
food, Food, FOOD! Today’s food adventures are in the lovely city of Chicago! On the way to Wisconsin for my move a few weeks ago, the boyfriend and I decided to take some time to spend in Chicago to celebrate. There’s so many places that I’ve eaten at before that I can write about, but I’ll just start writing about the places I go to from now on. This definitely won’t be the only Chicago foodie blog since it’s so close to me and on my way back to both my homes. Let’s get into the food though!
What’s perfect about Chicago is that if you get a hotel downtown, you can walk to pretty much anywhere and you have so many different options to choose from. What’s a celebration without some BBQ though? We were able to walk over to Gyu-Kaku Japanese BBQ and it was so worth it. I would have taken more photos and videos, but I was so busy stuffing my face and cooking the meats! My boyfriend and I ordered the Chef’s Favorite to share since it serves 2 people and would be a better price than ordering individually with one side order of their Spicy Shrimp marinated in a spicy jalapeño miso.
The Chef’s Favorite came with so much food. We for sure had leftovers, but you really get everything besides ramen and dessert which was totally fine with us. Everything was yummy though and I don’t think there was anything that I didn’t like. I do have to say that even the broccoli with cheese hit the spot. Get ready for your mouth to water cause sheeeeeeeeeeh, here we go. The Chef’s Favorite includes:
The price of all that food is also pretty affordable, $80. PLUS, it’s not all you can eat, so you can take all the leftovers home without a fee or problem. My top 5 favorite items from all of that was the Beef Sukiyaki Bibimbap, Napa Kimchi, Prime Kalbi Short Rib, Shrimp Garlic, and Harami Skirt Steak. 10/10 would recommend to others and come back. Plus Gyu-Kaku has a pretty good Lychee Lemonade drink.
The next day we walked to RAMEN-SAN, theRiver North location for lunch. The place was small, but the food did not disappoint and they had the cutest and coolest wall decor and figurines everywhere. They played good hip-hop music, it was great! For appetizer, we ordered the Pork Belly Mantou Buns, which had a really nice crisp on the pork belly. Then both my boyfriend and I got the Sumo Ramen. Super good, but if you have leftovers make sure to refrigerate it ASAP or the broth will go very bad. I learned that the hard way lol.
Pork BellyMantou Buns Spicy mayo, kimchi, cucumber, crispy pork belly, tobanjan mayo and spicy pickles on a steamed bun
Sumo Ramen Chashu, xo wontons, spicy crushed egg, a fully loaded ramen with pork broth, extra tokyo wavy noodles, green onion, 4 XO shrimp & pork dumplings, spicy bean sprouts, chashu pork, buttered corn, wakame seaweed, bamboo shoots, spicy crushed egg, fried garlic and sesame
I think one of my goals is to try out every ramen place there is in Chicago. I’ve tried about 4 of them now and not once have I been disappointed, RAMEN-SAN included. How does it feel to have so many good food places around you??
I got this cute little drink from Te’Amo Boba Bar. I’ve never seen a memo bottle before, so me being extra af decided to get one instead of the original cup. Definitely my aesthetic. The drink I got is called Te’amo O2. It has a floral rose and vanilla lemonade, sparkling water, crystal boba and strawberry jelly, topped with butterfly pea tea. Then if you stir it up the drink is suppose to change into a cute different color, but the water bottle did not allow use to do that. It was still very good though! I just would suggest getting this drink in a regular cup to have ice to water down the drink a little, it was a little sour to me at first.
I cannot wait for my next food adventure in Chicago. There’s so many more places to try and I keep hearing about new food places that just opened up. I really need to train myself to have a bigger appetite! Must be so blessed to have so many options like that. Like I said this is the first of many Food Alerts: Chicago blogs. Comment any places to try out below! Until next time, STAY HUNGRY!
It was pretty until it wasn’t. It snows and then a false spring comes. It’s hard to tell what you’ll get within this month. Just go for it. Just go. The way things were said was like it was coming straight out of a fairytale. The way I felt, the way the night went, it was a fairytale. I know now that it was coming from a problem or guilt, but also hope and the heart. It gave me hope. I gave me more than hope, blind hope, but it was so perfect. Do I want to ruin this memory or will I remember it as how I did before? Was it a cry of truth or was it innocently true? Sometimes it’s hard to see everything as how I saw them in the moment. It was a start of something that needed to happen. The good and bad, everything needed to be said and out. I spoke as I was holding back every emotion known to man. I spoke. That’s such a huge thing for me. I cried tears and a lot of them. I remember waking up one morning and I didn’t have time to open my eyes yet and I cried. This was truly the start of everything. It hurt, I was hurt, but it was needed. It was part of what I needed. Healing is so messy. Healing hurts so much until it doesn’t anymore. What a change. I can’t believe it myself looking back. The thing you said that night, yeah it happened. Was it a cry? I still don’t know, but I don’t think I want to know the truth. The progress of each brings me tears if I think about it. To go through such high highs and straight to the lowest lows, it made it.
Dear March, tell me that there’s light at the end of all this starless night.
SALLY♡THINGS 
