Author: SALLY♡THINGS

Hello, Sally here. A thirty year old trying to discover her way through life. I've started this blog so I can get a little deeper and more intimate with my thoughts. I enjoy journaling on my own time, so I can go back and read for reminders and remember life lessons. I decided to expose some of that vulnerability in hopes that someone else can take something from it too. This is for me as much as it is for others, so this is a little something for us who just feel. ♡

Reach Out, You Can Do It.

You can do whatever you put your mind into, but you can also limit yourself the same way. Just always remember, it’s all you, it’s all up to you.
We all have our bad days or moments where it gets to the point of needing help and think it’s bad to reach out for that help. Let’s end that stigma. Let’s stop making ourselves and others feel weak for even thinking they need help. It’s a good thing to realize when you need help. Recognizing that and accepting is already a big step, but then you have the reaching out part. Where ever you are reaching out to could be a friend, a therapist or counselor, a help hotline, etc. IT’S OKAY! IT’S PERFECTLY FINE! YAS, GO YOU! DON’T STOP! It’s a very normal thing to do, we aren’t wired to do everything by ourselves. Get the help that you deserve. Just know you aren’t alone and you will have the support from others whenever it starts to feel scary.

I’ve thought about this for a long time, but I decided to tackle it by myself instead. Then I would reach out to my friends and kept it at that for so long after. They helped me get to where I am today. My love and support group made sure I knew seeking for extra help was normal and a really good step. They actually said they were proud of me and hearing that makes me so emotional, but in a good way. Especially, with how I’ve been feeling lately. So here I am, celebrating myself for taking the step. I am reaching out. I can do it and I know you can do it. Take care of yourself, you matter the most.

SALLY ♡ T

Triggers are a test.

I was going to go on this huge rant, but you know? Sometimes it’s not even worth it. Writing the headline “Triggers are a test.” was just enough for me to acknowledge that very thing. It’s a test from others to see how you react and a test for yourself to see how far along you are and on exactly what path you walk. There will be people who purposely try to trigger you, then there’s triggers that your own mind will create. Then the ones that just happen from seeing the tiniest little thing.

The only thing you can control is how you react to it and how you let it affect you mentally and physically. There’s that saying “No one will remember what triggered you, just how you reacted.” It’s sad, but it’s true. There’s only so much you can do physically and a good percent of the time, it will only give you temporary relief. Focus on the triggers and your reaction mentally. How does it make you feel? What do you want to do and will that benefit you in any way long term? No? Okay, so now how can you release that negative energy in a way that it will be beneficial? The sooner you can train your mind to thinking that way, the easier and faster it will be for you to feel at ease. You may also find a deeper understanding and possibly heal yourself or be one step closer to your peace.

There will always be people who want to see your reactions and how badly it bothers you and those who wish and hope for your healing and peace. Who would you rather cater to? A self reminder.

SALLY ♡ T

Healing is not perfection.

"You can be healing and still: triggered, afraid, emotionally closed-off, unclear of which path to take next, or tender.
Healing is not perfection, it's small steps and progress towards becoming you again. Journey with grace through the process."
- L A L A H  D E L I A

Healing is not perfection. Get that through your head, understand it, and accept it. Healing is not perfection and it is so important to know that. You’ll feel happy one moment, but the next time you’re crying. Most days you forget all about it and some it’s all you can think about. The littlest things can trigger memories or recall old thoughts. It’s literally just as emotional as going through what you’re healing from, but without the trauma. Healing is about acknowledging that it happened, learning from what happened, accepting that it happened, and forgiving what happened. Expect many emotions and waves of emotions. It’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to feel clueless. It’s okay to feel lost. Just know those are temporary feelings and you’ll be okay in the end. You’re always going to be better in the end. Trust the process and take everything that you can from it.

I’m tired. Tired of how long it’s taking me. Tired of feeling like i’m stuck. Tired of feeling like people don’t think I’m not going and haven’t been going through it too. Like how does that even make sense to you?

SALLY ♡ T

Drunk Thoughts: New Series.

So I’m going to do this series on my blog called ‘Drunk Thoughts’ every few months or whenever I feel like it. I’ll talk about whatever comes to mind, after drinking and probably listening to music while I type. Be prepared for spelling mistakes, non complete sentences, random shit, you know the deal. Welcome into my sad boi hour head and straight into my big ass, emotional cancer sign ass heart. ♡ I wanted to be real with ya’ll, so wtf not? AND it helps me direct my emotions somewhere, perfect. You can laugh at me, while I try to find peace within, everyone wins. This is how I am in real life anyways, I never was trying to make this blog something I wasn’t. I drink, this is me.

So I drank two mugs full of mimosas that were 80% champagne and played my spotify playlist, which just happens to be the Chilombo (Deluxe) album by my girl Jhene Aiko. Starting mid way at Born Tired, which is one of my favorite songs on the album. I just chugged the last half of my cup after the first intro paragraph. So here we go.
Currently, in my life I’m doing good. I’m relaxed, not stressed, enjoying less work. Earlier this year I was probably in the worst mental state that I have ever been, so for me to be where I’m at now, i’m really happy and proud. I can feel myself healing. I know it might sound weird, but I can feel everything just getting better. Things are starting to click like they were before. It’s not so much self love because that never left me, but being able to accept and forgive or at least acknowledge it and not letting it sadden me like before. “Even with void, I choose to fill it with joy” <- Jhene just sang that and i’m living for it. To more joy that’s to come.
Honestly, I’m scared how things will be once my job fully opens back up. I was working crazy hours being a manager and that fucked me up mentally along with what was happening in my personal life. I don’t want to go backwards from where i’m at now. So dreading how things will be is an understatement, but I am working on it and getting myself out of that. I just have to deal with it a little longer, but I’ll stand my ground more and do whats right for me.
I sacrificed myself and some parts of my life when accepting this manager position for a bigger picture. I said I’ll just work hard so I can get to point b quicker. I did what I had to do for this bigger picture, but I lost myself from it and allowed the consequences of it take over. Did I recover? Yes, but for myself still working on it. Would I do it again? No, fuck ass no. I love myself and will never want to be in that mental state ever again. I was actually abusing alcohol at the time and I really fell into a dark hole. Of course me being prideful, I didn’t want people to know I was actually screaming for help with every drink I drank. I pulled myself out of that and i’m no longer drinking to fill anything. I’m pretty fucking proud, but this is the only place you will hear about it, because i’m still too prideful to share, but I should acknowledge my strength. I did it. I don’t want sympathy, empathy or anyone to bring it up because it still reminds me of the pain, but just know i’m okay now. I’m doing fine, i’m happy and still working on myself.

“It ain’t perfect, but everything’s beautiful, beautiful now. Maybe I’m the miracle, waiting for the miracle.”
SALLY ♡ T

Dear Us,

Relationships are tricky themselves and then you add on the long distance for us. It seems 1000x harder when we start to go through the downs of every relationship because we simply can’t be there physically for each other, but somehow we’ve found a way to make it work. Somehow we’ve found a way to get through the toughest problems. I’m so grateful for that and blessed to be where we are at currently. Things are falling in place and I’m very happy to say it’s because we haven’t given up on working together and not just individually. Was it a blessing in disguise? I can’t answer that myself, nor would like to dwell on figuring it out. We don’t need to anyways, there’s still a lot to continue working on together. I hope this energy is here to stay for the rest of our days.

Thank you for the healthy communication, thank you for the conversations, thank you for the emotional and physical support, for the extra time spent on us, and most importantly thank you for your never ending love for me. You or some might think it’s weird that I’m thanking for what seems like the basics of a relationship, but sometimes a lot of those qualities are missing. Plus it isn’t easy all the time or comes naturally with certain situations, so that extra step from ourselves has to be made. Can you feel it too? Less of the ‘I don’t knows’ and ‘what do we dos’ being replaced? Less holding back thoughts and sitting in silence? We can have those hard conversations without exploding or feeling lost in what to do or say next. I love that we are growing together as a couple and seeing it also helping with our own self growth. They say the first year is the hardest and we’re no strangers to that, but baby we’re almost there.

I love you with everything,
SALLY ♡ T

Time to be super sappy and loving now! Our pictures and your graduation ones turned out so nice, I’m obsessed with how cute you are. Even though the reasoning is a pandemic, I’ve felt nothing but super lucky to spend all this time with you. I’m lucky to spend this lifetime with you too. The love that I have for you goes beyond what anyone could ever imagine. Cheers to every big and small accomplishment that we’ve worked for this year and especially to the last few weeks/months. I love you so much and I’ll see you soon. ♡

First EDM Set Feature

Karpow reached out to me to be featured in her GRLFEST virtual set and I’m still so honored for it! Just a huge moment for me because I love her and have attended so many of her sets. She is so sweet and kind every time we talk. Watch her kill her set in the video below and look out for me at 17:25 ! Remember her name, she’s going to make it big! ♡

SALLY ♡ T

https://youtube.com/watch?v=EXAv_9wLBBU

Curiosity.

Curiosity.
Instead of avoiding or trying to talk myself out of negative or uncomfortable emotions, I decided to become curious about it. I’m curious why I’m thinking this way, or feeling this way. I’m curious how I got to this conclusion. I’m curious about the way discomfort makes me feel, see, hear and experience the world around me. This curiosity allows me to experience this part of my life. Being curious allows me to take responsibility for my emotions instead of feeling like a victim to my emotions.
I repeat this to myself and take action on it: I am capable of experiencing negative and positive emotions fully.
Getting curious helped me stop being afraid of my thoughts and learn how to create new ones!
Franceskax (Instagram)

MY THOUGHTS.

As I scrolled through my instagram newsfeeds, I came across this caption and it really captures how I’ve been feeling these past couple of weeks. This post made by Franceska Boerman really hit something inside of me and took my words and feelings out of me. Curiosity isn’t a bad nor a good thing. It’s purely just raw. Curiosity will always bring out raw emotions, good or bad.

In this case for me, I have yet to find out what it is and why. Why are these things uncomfortable to me? Why am I feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden? What is the cause of this discomfort and how can I deal with it directly? What is the mesaage that it’s trying to relay? Like Franceska, I have too tried to find the answers to those questions. Some being easier than the others.
My favorite sentence – “Being curious allows me to take responsibility for my emotions instead of feeling like a victim to my emotions.” Your emotions will get the best of you if you let it. I’m tired of it and tired of not knowing why or the reasoning behind. It’s time to face it.

Let yourself wander off into curiosity and handle the hidden truth.
(You can see the original post on instagram from Franceskax here.)

SALLY ♡ T

You are not weak for needing rest.

Let me repeat that again, you are not weak for needing rest.
Sometimes we overwork ourselves, sometimes life can become a handful, and sometimes we just get tired. We can only handle so much at a time, it’s called being human and it’s perfectly fine. Take some time for yourself and restore the energy that was lost.
This is something that I’ve been struggling to be okay with. I feel like there is never time to rest and if there is, I shouldn’t because it just means that I’m mentally weak. Like how can I not handle my own life? IT’S OKAY THOUGH, GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK! YOU ARE S T I L L AND W I L L BE THE SUPERWOMAN OR MAN THAT YOU ARE. Nobody is perfect and really no one is holding you to that standard, but yourself.

» A few things that I’ve been doing more during this pandemic that has helped me rest and restore:
◦ Working on my blogs
◦ Picking up hobbies that grab your full attention
◦ Getting my cards read for clarity and guidance
◦ Personal journaling
◦ Cuddling up with some poetry books
◦ Bath bombs/bubble baths
◦ Spending time by myself
◦ Using the time I have off discovering new foods, art, event, etc.
Bonus: Going to see my boyfriend more often (long distance relationships are a thing in itself) and being able to see my friends. Surrounding myself around their energy is probably the #1 thing that helps, they just radiate so much love.

Keep up the good work, you’re doing great. I can feel things around me getting better, I can feel myself piecing back together. You are making progress. Keep looking into every little message and keep communicating your feelings and thoughts. There’s been some rough weeks, but it’s coming to an end. It won’t last forever. If you fall backwards, it’s okay. You can get through it. Remember, you don’t have to do it alone either.

SALLY ♡ T

First Time: Tubing.

Charcuterie board and tubing, that’s how we do it for birthdays.
There’s a place in Newaygo, Michigan where you can take your tubes or kayaks and just float along the Muskegon River. It’s about 4 fun hours in the sun if you just let yourself float naturally. I’ve actually never been tubing like that before and every time my friends go, I’m stuck working the whole day. I finally got the day off and let’s just say I took advantage of it haha. Let me tell you about my first tubing trip.

Hello, hi! I should start off with some facts about me, I don’t know how to swim, tread water, and struggle with floating, I am only 5 feet tall, and my skin sunburns very easily. This is Kona and I before we left to go tubing. (No dogs were harmed, Kona actually doggie smiled every time he got picked up) We’re alive, well, and sober. My friends also roasted the fuck out of me the rest of the day for dressing like a hooters girl LOL.

I would also like to add that my tube was very comfortable and I would recommend it to anyone who is trying to last minute find a tube. Where I live, river tubes are sold out everywhere and I was lucky to find this ducky tube on Amazon and have it shipped to me the day before the trip. Plus, who doesn’t like a big floating duck with sunglasses? Some cons of it being camo is that it gets hot in spots and the dragonflies on the river thought I was a tree so I was surrounded by them. I’m terrified of bugs, so trying not to abandon ship and drown was a challenge.

The river was a smooth ride besides some random big rocks and logs, but you could easily maneuver yourself around those. About half the time the water was shallow enough for you to get off your tube and swim or walk in the water. There was plenty of times that I could get off my tube.
My friends and I brought coolers just filled with food and drinks, we even packed a charcuterie board for the two birthdays that we were celebrating. Fanciest water food selection ever. It was just *chefs kiss*. Well I started to drink a little more than usual since the sun was beating down on me and guess where I decided to fall off my tube? Yep, a deeper part of the river. Only my luck LOL. I could touch the bottom, but the water was up to my neck and getting back on the tube was a struggle, if only it stopped there. Turns out I drank way too much and I ended up throwing up and falling asleep right after for the rest of the trip. I held on the my friends hand for the last 30 minutes as I was slowly waking up super drunk, but hungover. TYPICAL SALLY. Thankfully, my tube was big and I’m just small, so I was sleeping beauty on a river. I did get sunburn after just recovering from my Colorado one. I’m really surprised that I haven’t gotten sun sickness yet, these sunburns are pretty bad haha

When I was alive during the trip, I did get video footage and I’m working on making a video, another hobby that I’m trying out. At the end, I was able to gather myself up and pack the cars. We just all went back to my friend’s house and grilled up some hotdogs and hamburgers with asparagus, tried to sober up so I could be fine for work the next day. What a day it was. I absolutely love my friends and I would risk my life all over again to go with them ♡

Until the next adventure!
SALLY ♡ T

Last Minute Trip, CO.

I’ve always dreamt about last minute traveling where you spontaneously buy a flight and leave within 48 hours. Well… I did just that! I booked my flight the day before leaving and spent that weekend in Denver, Colorado. It wasn’t as stressful or exciting like I always fantasized it out to be, but it was worth the experience.

Going on a flight all by yourself is pretty boring and I did not properly prepare to entertain myself for 3 hours. I assumed that I would fall asleep on the flight and was I wrong. Don’t ever assume that, that’s where I messed up haha. What I DID loved about being awake during the flight was seeing clouds. I don’t think I will ever get over how beautiful it looks up close.
When my dog passed away, I read a book and on one of the pages it talks about how each dog has their own comfy cloud to sleep on. So I just imagined my little Koko rolling around in the most perfectly soft, cotton candy like cloud bed. I definitely teared up at the thought. I let myself dream for a little that I was so close to her and her cloud home. Just a sweet little moment.

Time for my favorite part of the trip: THE HIKE. GRAYS PEAK.
Oh my… I’m so proud of myself for not giving up even though I wanted to so bad. I don’t even know where to begin with the story. So I do not work out at all. I think the last time I worked out at the gym was August of 2019. I also had a dry cough the whole weekend that would hurt my sides whenever I coughed. So I’m already going into it busted up and not physically ready. Oh, did I mention that the hike was a fourteener? YEAH, YOU READ THAT RIGHT. Elevation of 14,278. When I said I wanted to quit, I wanted to jump off the cliff and rolled back down to car as a shortcut. It was such an experience though. I can’t decide if it was good or bad yet hahah
We left our airbnb at 3 AM to drive there, got there around 5 AM and started hiking. This hike was suppose to take 5 hours all together, up and down. It took our group 10 hours to complete. We dropped like flies, we took tons of breaks, goats wanted to beat us up, hikers kept giving us false hope with how close we were, MAN. My lungs were struggling and the weather was so confusing. There was snow on the mountain and it was windy, but I was in my tank top while the guys were all in their hoodies. It’s the middle of July, my body was never so confused before. The elevation and basically doing knee to chest lunges up got me. My little legs were killing! I told the guys to go ahead of me and if I caught up, then I did, if not so be it. The last hour or so up, I hiked alone and only could walk like 20 steps before having to stop to breathe. I met this very cool hiker though and honestly, he gave me an awesome pep talk about finishing, so thank you guy! By the time I met up with my group I was 5 to 10 minutes away from the top so I had to finish it. Everyone was right, the view is so worth it. I was just way too tired to take decent pictures and kept thinking about how I had to hike the whole thing to get back to the car. LOL. Hiking down was probably harder and you just have to pray that you have strong ankles. Did I also mention I did all of this in some training nike shoes? Not prepared at all! The walk back was killer cause it was at least 93 degrees. I got so sunburned in the last two hours. My shoulders and lips paid their dues the hard way. I actually had a lot of fun with my group though and just proud that I made it. Would I do it again? Honestly, probably not LOL. One time was enough, maybe ask me again in a couple years.

The rest of the trip was a lot less exercise haha. I did have the opportunity to skydive while I was there, but I have no idea why I decided not too. So I do regret that, but it’s okay. That can always be added on to the next trip.
I met some new people on the trip and strengthened my friendship with others, so I’m very happy that I went. I’m ready to plan the next one!

Thanks Denver for the adventure, xoxo.
SALLY ♡ T