Tag: Strengthen Yourself

Everything All at Once.

I’ve been feeling over whelmed the last few weeks and strongly this week. It feels like everything is coming at me all at once. I’ve started writing a blog every day this week to express how I’ve been feeling, but I haven’t been able to finish any of them because I also feel mentally exhausted. Then it’s 5 am and I need to sleep or I’ll be tired for work. Well hello 6 am, it’s me. I’m up even later than usual. I guess I just have to take the L for work.

It’s frustrating, I’m feeling frustrated at this point. It’s exhausting, I’ve been exhausted. It’s overwhelming, I’m overwhelmed with everything, I have been overwhelmed with everything for a long time now. It’s not with just what’s going on around me and within my personal life, but also with all the overthinking and trying to process situations and understanding and trying to figure out how I feel about things. Then I go to work and that takes up a lot of my time, so I don’t even have that much time out of my day to work everything out. I feel like I’m trying to catch up with myself from the times of 2 am – 6 am everyday. That’s all I get and it’s not enough. I think I’m starting to burn out. You don’t want to try to figure things out during those times especially when you’re alone anyways. It’s not something I can’t handle, but I’m starting to feel defeated. Which makes me feel sad and then it’s another thing for me to add on. Everything all at once.

Your mental health is important. You are important. It’s important and very needed to put yourself first. Allow yourself to unload your mind, give yourself the time and a safe space or environment. Really focus on helping yourself. You are the only you that you will ever have. Do whatever it takes to feel okay again and remember to do it in a positive way and not with something that will later negatively effect you. Build yourself up and then protect that.

Letter to myself:
You got this, Sally. You can pull through. Adjustments are coming, just hold on a little longer. Things are going to change and it will help with a lot of the things. Do what feels right even if it’s not what you want. Let go of things that you cannot control. Communicate what you can, baby steps. Don’t forget to celebrate the baby steps along the way. Give yourself some sort of break. Things feel hard, but you’ve, we, us, I have been making progress. You’re stronger than you know, but I still worry. Remember, everything at once will eventually become nothing at all. Truly, take care of yourself this time.

For The Both Of Us.

If I had the opportunity to go back into time, I would go back to you and hug you for the both of us. Lord knows you were going to need it and I know I need it now. We’re the same person, but in such two different realities. I need it for the strength, for the encouragement, to appreciate how far I’ve come and because I miss that twinkle in my eye. You need it for the moment, for what’s to come, for who you are, and also for the strength. I wouldn’t go back and say sorry or try to change anything. Not because I think it was meant to happen, but because I don’t know any of the what if’s and I’d rather not try to think about it. It would be maddening either way and in every other different way anyways.

For the both of us, I would go back in time, enjoy that moment with you, remember what it was like and hug you. That hug would have been everything to you because that hug was what I needed and was looking for and felt like I never got. So I would go back in time to hug you for the both of us. The twinkle wasn’t based on truth, but love and I miss that. Sometimes they are hand in hands and other times they aren’t. Balancing them when they aren’t isn’t the easiest, but you got here. You got me here, I’m here.
“Without you I can’t be, you’re the universe to me. You’re the air in my lungs, you’re the fields where I run, you’re the sky where I’m floating.“

Seven Lions at Electric Forest 2019 | June 30, 2019 11:41 PM

Dear ST: You Don’t Have to Carry the Burden of Others.

You don’t have to carry the burdens of others, you don’t even have to carry others. Let it go. Release that way of thinking, that way of “caring”. It’s one of those things where it helps one person out, but takes down the other and the other is you. It’s a pattern that you can get easily suck back into.

Dear ST,
You tend to find yourself here way too often. You don’t need to take things on that aren’t yours. You don’t need to emotionally wreck yourself for the sake of others. You can empathize and feel sympathy for them, but you absolutely do not need to carry it for them. Let them have it. You can’t save everyone, you can’t save everyone, you can’t save everyone. Create this boundary, create a line, create something that will allow you to just walk away.
With the things that you have carried in the past, it’s time to unpack and let them run back to who they belong. I know you did it out of your big ass heart and that’s great that you can care so much for people in that way, but you can still show that without sacrificing yourself. For those that you still need to heal from, confront it, confront t h e m. Give that to yourself. Not everything was bad to take on, sometimes others do need that burden to be lifted off of them for a bit to find their way, but just remember it’s not the case with all of them. We want the best for others, but you need to include yourself into that too.
We’re finding ways to cope and heal this year, we’re finding new ways to improve, and to feel comfortable with being comfortable.
“The waves are farther apart.”

SALLY ♡ T

Not For Them.

Do it for you, not for them.
Sounds pretty self explanatory if you ask me, but why is it so hard to do? Why do we sometimes fall into situations where we allow people to indirectly control our lives? It’s time for us to stop it.

Do it for you, not for them.
It’s easy to confuse the two. You might think that you are doing whatever it is for you, but it’s actually influenced by others opinions or actions. If your decisions or actions are being played down because of so people, are you really saving yourself or are you allowing that to control you? Yes, it might seem like going about things a certain way can make it better, but guess what? You are allowing so people to control and gaslight you. I said what I said.

Do it for you, not for them.
Don’t let the actions of others start to define you. It’s a new year and it’s time to let things go. You’ve been holding in too much. Release it, let it go. The least you can do for yourself is celebrate what makes you happy. You’re here to live for you. It’s okay to become a more private person, but don’t let the boundaries of that get blurred. Not everyone on earth is here to celebrate you or to celebrate with you. Not everyone will be genuinely happy for you and that’s okay. Do it for you, not for them.

SALLY ♡ T

You Can’t Heal If You Keep Pretending You’re Not Hurt.

To anyone who needs to hear this, including myself: STOP PRETENDING AND JUST LET GO. Let whatever you are trying to suppress out and allow your mind to rest. You can’t just sweep things under the rug and then expect it to go away. It doesn’t. Believe me, I tried and thought it would and now I’m here a year later still hurting about the same things.

It’s okay to feel hurt. It doesn’t feel good, but it’s okay to feel hurt. It’s a human thing, it’s normal. Even though you didn’t ask for it, you can’t let it control you and you have to find a way to accept it. Acceptance can happen in hours, days, months, or even years, but you will get there one day. It doesn’t have to happen quick and most times it won’t, some things are just too big to snap back from. That’s normal. Please do not beat yourself up for not being over or healed from a situation. You’re going through something already, you don’t need to add more to it.

If you pretend that you’re not hurting, you can’t heal. The out of sight, out of mind might lighten the load, but it will come creeping back. The only way to heal is to go about it head on. That can mean talking with people, making amends, going to counseling, etc. There’s so many healthy and positive ways of healing. You never are alone and you don’t have to heal yourself with no help. I think that’s so important for people to hear because sometimes we feel like we’re alone or our problems are just baggage that no one else wants to hear. There’s always someone to talk to and listen, you never are alone and you don’t have to heal yourself without help.

Be kind to yourself and be kind to others. You might be hurting still, but hurting others can disrupt whatever healing process they have going on too. It doesn’t feel good to be on the receiving end, believe that. Plus, projecting your hurt on someone else makes no one happier in the end. It doesn’t help you and doesn’t help them.

I could probably go on about healing and I’m pretty sure this is my 3rd post about this topic, but this is where I have the most feeling. Just like many of others, I’m just trying to accept it, move on and be okay. Just like many others, I’m in the thick of it and still struggling to get to where I want to be and picture myself to be. I am just like many others and if I can help someone while I get through mine, just perfect. The first step towards healing is to not pretend you’re hurt, but to acknowledge it. It’s okay to feel hurt.

SALLY ♡ T

Reach Out, You Can Do It.

You can do whatever you put your mind into, but you can also limit yourself the same way. Just always remember, it’s all you, it’s all up to you.
We all have our bad days or moments where it gets to the point of needing help and think it’s bad to reach out for that help. Let’s end that stigma. Let’s stop making ourselves and others feel weak for even thinking they need help. It’s a good thing to realize when you need help. Recognizing that and accepting is already a big step, but then you have the reaching out part. Where ever you are reaching out to could be a friend, a therapist or counselor, a help hotline, etc. IT’S OKAY! IT’S PERFECTLY FINE! YAS, GO YOU! DON’T STOP! It’s a very normal thing to do, we aren’t wired to do everything by ourselves. Get the help that you deserve. Just know you aren’t alone and you will have the support from others whenever it starts to feel scary.

I’ve thought about this for a long time, but I decided to tackle it by myself instead. Then I would reach out to my friends and kept it at that for so long after. They helped me get to where I am today. My love and support group made sure I knew seeking for extra help was normal and a really good step. They actually said they were proud of me and hearing that makes me so emotional, but in a good way. Especially, with how I’ve been feeling lately. So here I am, celebrating myself for taking the step. I am reaching out. I can do it and I know you can do it. Take care of yourself, you matter the most.

SALLY ♡ T

Curiosity.

Curiosity.
Instead of avoiding or trying to talk myself out of negative or uncomfortable emotions, I decided to become curious about it. I’m curious why I’m thinking this way, or feeling this way. I’m curious how I got to this conclusion. I’m curious about the way discomfort makes me feel, see, hear and experience the world around me. This curiosity allows me to experience this part of my life. Being curious allows me to take responsibility for my emotions instead of feeling like a victim to my emotions.
I repeat this to myself and take action on it: I am capable of experiencing negative and positive emotions fully.
Getting curious helped me stop being afraid of my thoughts and learn how to create new ones!

Franceskax (Instagram)

MY THOUGHTS.

As I scrolled through my instagram newsfeeds, I came across this caption and it really captures how I’ve been feeling these past couple of weeks. This post made by Franceska Boerman really hit something inside of me and took my words and feelings out of me. Curiosity isn’t a bad nor a good thing. It’s purely just raw. Curiosity will always bring out raw emotions, good or bad.

In this case for me, I have yet to find out what it is and why. Why are these things uncomfortable to me? Why am I feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden? What is the cause of this discomfort and how can I deal with it directly? What is the mesaage that it’s trying to relay? Like Franceska, I have too tried to find the answers to those questions. Some being easier than the others.
My favorite sentence – “Being curious allows me to take responsibility for my emotions instead of feeling like a victim to my emotions.” Your emotions will get the best of you if you let it. I’m tired of it and tired of not knowing why or the reasoning behind. It’s time to face it.

Let yourself wander off into curiosity and handle the hidden truth.
(You can see the original post on instagram from Franceskax here.)

SALLY ♡ T