Tag: Self Awareness

It All Comes Rushing Back.

Although would like to say this was part of the Drunk Thoughts series, it’s not. I actually sobered up from my drinking and just typing my feelings out at 4 AM. Here we are again, the heavy feeling. It all comes rushing back.

Just when things seem so great, it all comes rushing back. You can’t do anything about it, but to deal with it. That part I’m not so great with. How do you know you’re making progress? How do you know you’re getting through it instead of pushing it aside? Am I really putting my needs first?

I don’t doubt or second guess my decisions, but I do doubt where I should be or think I shouldn’t let shit bother me like it does. Why do I still get these nasty little reminders and why do they still hurt me just as much? Sometimes I get so far, just for a reminder to remind me that I actually am not. I actually haven’t even gone anywhere, like I’m just stuck in the cycle.

I go on with my day with a little bit of a heavy heart sometimes and I just push through, but what if one day I don’t have the strength for it? What can I do then? The last thing I want to do is let it consume my emotions and dwell. I’ve done that so many times and had that time already. You know, people carry a lot on their shoulders, they carry a lot on their backs. Not everyone is as happy as they seem. I hope my peace finds me, I really hope soon.

Be kind to others, be respectful, or just leave them alone. Leave things be and let it happen.

“But now I know you can’t change the past, way too young to know the reason why and it all comes rushing back, rushing back.”

SALLY ♡ T

You Can’t Heal If You Keep Pretending You’re Not Hurt.

To anyone who needs to hear this, including myself: STOP PRETENDING AND JUST LET GO. Let whatever you are trying to suppress out and allow your mind to rest. You can’t just sweep things under the rug and then expect it to go away. It doesn’t. Believe me, I tried and thought it would and now I’m here a year later still hurting about the same things.

It’s okay to feel hurt. It doesn’t feel good, but it’s okay to feel hurt. It’s a human thing, it’s normal. Even though you didn’t ask for it, you can’t let it control you and you have to find a way to accept it. Acceptance can happen in hours, days, months, or even years, but you will get there one day. It doesn’t have to happen quick and most times it won’t, some things are just too big to snap back from. That’s normal. Please do not beat yourself up for not being over or healed from a situation. You’re going through something already, you don’t need to add more to it.

If you pretend that you’re not hurting, you can’t heal. The out of sight, out of mind might lighten the load, but it will come creeping back. The only way to heal is to go about it head on. That can mean talking with people, making amends, going to counseling, etc. There’s so many healthy and positive ways of healing. You never are alone and you don’t have to heal yourself with no help. I think that’s so important for people to hear because sometimes we feel like we’re alone or our problems are just baggage that no one else wants to hear. There’s always someone to talk to and listen, you never are alone and you don’t have to heal yourself without help.

Be kind to yourself and be kind to others. You might be hurting still, but hurting others can disrupt whatever healing process they have going on too. It doesn’t feel good to be on the receiving end, believe that. Plus, projecting your hurt on someone else makes no one happier in the end. It doesn’t help you and doesn’t help them.

I could probably go on about healing and I’m pretty sure this is my 3rd post about this topic, but this is where I have the most feeling. Just like many of others, I’m just trying to accept it, move on and be okay. Just like many others, I’m in the thick of it and still struggling to get to where I want to be and picture myself to be. I am just like many others and if I can help someone while I get through mine, just perfect. The first step towards healing is to not pretend you’re hurt, but to acknowledge it. It’s okay to feel hurt.

SALLY ♡ T