What I Want From 2021.

I’m not going to sit up here and say “new year, new me” because honestly I like who I am and how I am, but there are a couple adjustments that I feel would be better for me. I already found myself a while ago, but it’s hard trying to be that same person without falling in or getting sucked back into old toxic ways. I can tell you that it’s been a real struggle for the past year and a half.

I can agree that I fell back into old ways. I’ve felt like I had to prove myself to others when I really didn’t have too. I felt like I had to save myself when my name was getting dragged in the dirt, when my intentions and actions were made out of love. I let that whole thing eat me alive and I really let it get to me.
I’m gonna talk my shit now, but I really let a person who couldn’t speak or message me without hiding behind multiple fake accounts have so much of my energy. How stupid was I to let that happen continuously? You want to know the worst part of it all? I felt sympathy for this person because I know it all came from hurt, but I was too hurt and mad myself to go about things another way and I got sucked right into the toxic part of it. Before anyone gets ideas and decides to anonymously message me saying that this person wasn’t the only one to create the problem, I know that. I’m not blaming just one side, I’ve been fully aware, this side just happened to be the one that became public. I can also admit and take full responsibility that I fueled a fire and kept it going. What I won’t say is sorry though, I defended my own ass in any way that it felt necessary because a lot of people let all that shit slide and did absolutely nothing, but watch. They wanted the show and we gave that to them.

Now what I want from 2021 is to heal and find my peace with everything I just mentioned and everything else surrounding it. I want to move on and fully forgive myself, my person and all the others. I don’t want to carry this hate and sadness around anymore, that’s just not who I am. What I want from this year is to be able to let go and move on. I don’t want to feel like I have to watch my own back 24/7 whenever I’m in public. I want to be able to meet new people without having to feel like I have to be cautious and question if their intentions are actually genuine or not. Everything that I can do and feel over here is what I want it to be like again there. If you are reading this with ill will, I’m okay with us being complete strangers to each other. I understand that not everyone is for each other and really that’s okay. We can make it mutually known and I won’t ever bother you. I’d rather have that than someone faking to like me because I’m dating this person or cause I hang out with these people. I am not defined by some other person. I can respect the honesty of it.

I know what I want and hope for will take some time and it might not even be this year, but any step closer is good enough for me.
Because I’m going to read this plenty of times through out the year, a reminder, YOU chose to pick love when it was the last thing you felt and YOU did nothing wrong by that. Vivi con amore.
I talked my shit and now I’m leaving it here.

SALLY ♡ T

Another One Of Those Cheesy New Years Post.

H A P P Y N E W Y E A R S !!! We barely made it to 2021, but we did it, it’s here. I don’t have much expectations going into it because I did that with 2020 and HAHAHA. Sorry for the honesty or to rain on your parade, but all your problems carry over into the new year. HAHAHA, LETS GOOOOO.

I did want to come here to remind you to not expect too much and things aren’t going to change overnight, but you do have the power to change things. You just have to really want it and you have to allow it to come. You have to actually accept it deep down. Allow yourself to forgive what needs to be forgiven whether it’s with someone else or within yourself. Allow yourself to let go of things that aren’t for you. It’s okay to not understand certain things, just accept that.


It’s nice to come up with some new year resolutions, I think it’s a nice way to re-guide yourself and give some sort of rebalance to your life whether you end up sticking with it or not. Here are a couple that I’ve had in the past:

◗ Don’t get so caught up with work
◗ Take more time for myself
◗ Take more pictures
◗ Choose whatever I feel is best for me
◗ Trust your feelings
◗ Do whatever makes me happy

Obviously, those are super basic things, but I still find myself pushing them to the side. Things that I still struggle to find the balance of. I wrote those back in 2018 and here they are still on my list for 2021. Don’t only work on your top layers, but work on your base, your foundation. It’ll only make you a better person in the end. Remember to make sure that you are doing it for yourself and not for someone else, it’s more rewarding to do things for yourself. 2021 is about YOU. I hope this year can bring the understanding, the forgiving, and the peace that we all need. I genuinely hope 2021 brings you and I whatever our souls need. I hope 2021 can heal.

SALLY ♡ T

“My needs are just as important. It’s okay to say no.”

-A Daily Self Reminder

You Can’t Heal If You Keep Pretending You’re Not Hurt.

To anyone who needs to hear this, including myself: STOP PRETENDING AND JUST LET GO. Let whatever you are trying to suppress out and allow your mind to rest. You can’t just sweep things under the rug and then expect it to go away. It doesn’t. Believe me, I tried and thought it would and now I’m here a year later still hurting about the same things.

It’s okay to feel hurt. It doesn’t feel good, but it’s okay to feel hurt. It’s a human thing, it’s normal. Even though you didn’t ask for it, you can’t let it control you and you have to find a way to accept it. Acceptance can happen in hours, days, months, or even years, but you will get there one day. It doesn’t have to happen quick and most times it won’t, some things are just too big to snap back from. That’s normal. Please do not beat yourself up for not being over or healed from a situation. You’re going through something already, you don’t need to add more to it.

If you pretend that you’re not hurting, you can’t heal. The out of sight, out of mind might lighten the load, but it will come creeping back. The only way to heal is to go about it head on. That can mean talking with people, making amends, going to counseling, etc. There’s so many healthy and positive ways of healing. You never are alone and you don’t have to heal yourself with no help. I think that’s so important for people to hear because sometimes we feel like we’re alone or our problems are just baggage that no one else wants to hear. There’s always someone to talk to and listen, you never are alone and you don’t have to heal yourself without help.

Be kind to yourself and be kind to others. You might be hurting still, but hurting others can disrupt whatever healing process they have going on too. It doesn’t feel good to be on the receiving end, believe that. Plus, projecting your hurt on someone else makes no one happier in the end. It doesn’t help you and doesn’t help them.

I could probably go on about healing and I’m pretty sure this is my 3rd post about this topic, but this is where I have the most feeling. Just like many of others, I’m just trying to accept it, move on and be okay. Just like many others, I’m in the thick of it and still struggling to get to where I want to be and picture myself to be. I am just like many others and if I can help someone while I get through mine, just perfect. The first step towards healing is to not pretend you’re hurt, but to acknowledge it. It’s okay to feel hurt.

SALLY ♡ T

Triggers are a test.

I was going to go on this huge rant, but you know? Sometimes it’s not even worth it. Writing the headline “Triggers are a test.” was just enough for me to acknowledge that very thing. It’s a test from others to see how you react and a test for yourself to see how far along you are and on exactly what path you walk. There will be people who purposely try to trigger you, then there’s triggers that your own mind will create. Then the ones that just happen from seeing the tiniest little thing.

The only thing you can control is how you react to it and how you let it affect you mentally and physically. There’s that saying “No one will remember what triggered you, just how you reacted.” It’s sad, but it’s true. There’s only so much you can do physically and a good percent of the time, it will only give you temporary relief. Focus on the triggers and your reaction mentally. How does it make you feel? What do you want to do and will that benefit you in any way long term? No? Okay, so now how can you release that negative energy in a way that it will be beneficial? The sooner you can train your mind to thinking that way, the easier and faster it will be for you to feel at ease. You may also find a deeper understanding and possibly heal yourself or be one step closer to your peace.

There will always be people who want to see your reactions and how badly it bothers you and those who wish and hope for your healing and peace. Who would you rather cater to? A self reminder.

SALLY ♡ T

Dear ST,

A reminder to you that there are disgusting and hateful people out there in the world. You tend to forget this because you are just always surrounded by love and positivity and your outlook on life is daydream like. Growing up it’s always been that way, but somehow with age even with all the crazy things going on in the world you still look at the beautiful things. Maybe even more now. I’m not saying it’s a bad view on life, but you tend to forget about the ugly that makes and create those beauties. Life is not all rainbow and butterflies, people are not always kind and loving and not everyone can move their focus on themselves as quick as you can. You are a sensitive fuck and it’s fine to take a day to be sad, but that’s all you need. Don’t let anything, but yourself control your way of living. If they try, fuck them. You already know that you’re above their pettiness because you have the one thing that they don’t. REAL SELF LOVE.


You had your soul searching days and you found the one thing that makes you the best person that you could be. Think back to summer 2018. That’s you. Now wipe off your tears and continue putting love out into the world and yourself. I say this with OUR heart and love.

SALLY ♡ T