Tag: Life Advice

Biggest Challenges of 2020: By Myself.

It is now December, for me the month of reflection. I usually try to do monthly reflections so I can pin point an area that I still want to work on for the next month, but with this year all of that went to trash. It was all over the place and no month was ever the same. 2020 has opened myself up to my own self about things I’ve never paid attention about or thought was a problem. 2020 has challenged me in many different ways in every aspect of my life. Really, 2020 got me f u c k e d u p. Just kidding, 2020 has brought what I needed heal about myself in plain sight and it’s a lot more than you think. You guessed it, a new series. Welcome to Biggest Challenges of 2020.

BY MYSELF.
Surprise! I do terrible being by myself or alone. I actually don’t like too much me time or doing things by myself. It’s the weirdest thing because I do consider myself as a pretty independent person. I’ll do what I need to do by myself, but I would much rather have some sort of company with me. I’ve been trying so hard this year with getting more comfortable with being alone by myself and trying to learn how to enjoy my own company. I grew up with three siblings and basically all my nieces, so yeah there was never a time where I was truly by myself. Not until a few years ago, but around then I still had Koko with me.

Living in a pandemic, where you should stay home – yeah, not ideal for someone who feels the same as me. I still find myself adjusting to not having my little Koko around me and I lost her almost two years ago. She didn’t need me as much as I needed her. (another story, another time) I get too much into my head, so having others around even if it’s just my brother’s cat napping next to me. It gets me out of my head. It’s like I’m a codependent-independent person and those two people/personalities don’t mix very well. I would like to be able to go to places by myself without having to talk myself into going. Just decide where and when, get up, get ready, and go.

I’ve been challenging myself to stay home and kind of forcing myself to being alone for two weeks now, but you know, you have your good days and your bad ones. This is probably the one of the hardest things that I’ve tried to achieve yet. Thankfully I do have the support of loved ones, friends, and my therapist. Although any other advice on how to feel more comfortable with your own company is highly and hugely appreciated. ♡ I have a feeling that this one will be something that will be a little harder to overcome.

SALLY ♡ T

If You Release The Past.

“If you release the past, you’ll move ahead and bloom at last. The heart grows and it knows you can glow.”

Gobi, Over the Moon

Whatever it is that you’re holding onto, I hope you’re not letting it hold onto you. Read it again. Whatever it is that you’re holding onto, I hope you can live on without it. Believe that you can. Whatever you’re holding onto, I hope you can move on from it. Let it go, you can. The time will come and your shoulders will be a little less tense and the pressure of the weight will lift, until then just keep going. You’ve made it this far already, you can make it more.

Some things just never feel fair and I’ll never understand why certain things have to happen. Maybe that’s the problem for me, I keep trying to understand the why and not just letting it go. I can recognize and acknowledge it, but how do I actually apply it and live it? I feel myself thinking, wondering, writing this over and over again. I can see the future without it, I can remember the past of it, but I just don’t know what to do with the present of it.

I’ve been told that my post have been relatable and has actually helped or brought some clarity and I’m happy that it has for those people. That’s one of the reasons why I started this blog. I hope as it has for you, that maybe one day it will for me. It’s so strange, but comforting at the same time.

Remember every moment we have is a chance for something new. Not every moment is the same, so allow it to come to you.

SALLY ♡ T

“My needs are just as important. It’s okay to say no.”

-A Daily Self Reminder

Curiosity.

Curiosity.
Instead of avoiding or trying to talk myself out of negative or uncomfortable emotions, I decided to become curious about it. I’m curious why I’m thinking this way, or feeling this way. I’m curious how I got to this conclusion. I’m curious about the way discomfort makes me feel, see, hear and experience the world around me. This curiosity allows me to experience this part of my life. Being curious allows me to take responsibility for my emotions instead of feeling like a victim to my emotions.
I repeat this to myself and take action on it: I am capable of experiencing negative and positive emotions fully.
Getting curious helped me stop being afraid of my thoughts and learn how to create new ones!

Franceskax (Instagram)

MY THOUGHTS.

As I scrolled through my instagram newsfeeds, I came across this caption and it really captures how I’ve been feeling these past couple of weeks. This post made by Franceska Boerman really hit something inside of me and took my words and feelings out of me. Curiosity isn’t a bad nor a good thing. It’s purely just raw. Curiosity will always bring out raw emotions, good or bad.

In this case for me, I have yet to find out what it is and why. Why are these things uncomfortable to me? Why am I feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden? What is the cause of this discomfort and how can I deal with it directly? What is the mesaage that it’s trying to relay? Like Franceska, I have too tried to find the answers to those questions. Some being easier than the others.
My favorite sentence – “Being curious allows me to take responsibility for my emotions instead of feeling like a victim to my emotions.” Your emotions will get the best of you if you let it. I’m tired of it and tired of not knowing why or the reasoning behind. It’s time to face it.

Let yourself wander off into curiosity and handle the hidden truth.
(You can see the original post on instagram from Franceskax here.)

SALLY ♡ T