Discussions – SALLY♡THINGS

What Fulfills You?

What fulfills you?
I think I’ve been avoiding this question for the past couple of years because I really don’t have a straight up answer or maybe I don’t really know what I want in life, maybe I wasn’t ready for the answer. I do admit, it’s hard to find the answer when you’re in your mid 20’s and you haven’t been able to fully experience life yet. So how can I come up with something? I’ve been kind of just floating through my life and having fun in whatever way I can. Maybe being that free is fulfilling to me, it works for me currently.

Like everyone else, I had to face some challenges and with the pandemic my daily lifestyle changed. We’ve all had to adjust in ways that completely flipped life as we know around. I was in a very unhappy and unsure spot in my life and I started to think more and more, what really fulfills me? What do I want out of life? What do I need for myself to feel like I’m living my best life? In the last couple of weeks, it’s all I can think about. I found myself stuck in yet another rut and as much as I want to blame it on the current moon cycle and astrology, it’s an all too familiar feeling. Let’s try connect the dots.

Sally, what fulfills you?

I’ve touched this topic a little bit within my therapy sessions, but there’s not enough time to get to an answer, so I did some searching on my own.
To have a fulfilling life is to be happy living in the present moment. To build a sense of fulfillment, you need to stop thinking about what “should be” and start being grateful for “what is.” It’s a process of failures and victories, not being focused on one specific moment. You can find your fulfillment in all aspect in life like self-improvement, meaningful relationships, health & wellness, and career development. The more you learn and grow within those aspects, the happier you’ll become and building those habits will lead you to joy.

So where do we even start? Where can we find our certain aspects and what do we prioritize to get there? I found a blog post written by Brent Gleeson that had a great list and I’ll put some of my favorites below:

Build relationships over possessions.
Take what you can from life, but always give back.
Be accountable for your words and actions.
Be disciplined in your personal and professional life.
Expunge hate from your heart.
Pursue passions bigger than yourself.
Don’t hold on too tight.
Strive to improve a little bit everyday.

Working on these everyday even if it is just a few every week, you’ll start to see and feel something good grow from you. It isn’t easy and there will be failure, but it’s all part of the process. Without the feeling of failure, we wouldn’t know how it feels to succeed.

I think my fulfillment is changing because I’m in a new environment and experiencing a new life experience, so it’s trying to adjust. I do have some idea of my own, but I’m still figuring out the rest. Who knows, maybe I’ll never really have my answer until I’m well into my 30’s. Maybe I’ll never really have an answer at all because it changes with you throughout your life. It doesn’t hurt to start thinking about it though.

So what fulfills you?

Conversations: Asian Americans.

I came across this channel on Youtube called Jubilee and watched quite a few of their videos and it really got me thinking about my answers and opinions as well. There’s different episodes, but in each they bring in a group of people of the same or different race or people who believe in this or that and ask them questions. The group of people then stand on a scale of strongly disagree to strongly agree or sit down if they agree with said statement and just talk it out with one another. It’s such a nice safe space for these people to get their opinions or experiences out there about general topics or about those hard topics that most will stay quiet about. Maybe this will become a new blog series that I’ll continue to write about or not, but I just wanted to share where I am with this video called “Do All Asian Americans Think the Same?” | Spectrum (the video is at the bottom of the blog)

I think it’s great to watch videos like these especially with how society has been. A lot has happened within the last few decades, let alone the last 4 years. It’s time to start having these deeper conversations or just more conversations in general. I’m starting off with this video because I do identify with Asian American, I’m Vietnamese and American born. For me, it’s not like I have forgotten my cultural traditions or values, but I don’t really discuss them enough. So I’ll take some questions or statements from the video and discuss it. Just want to remind everyone that I am not the spokesperson for the whole community or race or the people that I hang out with! This is just me.

I have felt pressure to date within my own race.
Luckily, my parents have never put that idea onto me. They have mentioned it a couple of times, but they always made it known that it’s okay if I don’t. They don’t have a preference on another race either, so I was allowed to date whoever. Now when it comes to outside my family, like within the Vietnamese community here, I do feel the pressure. Weird right? Well I’ve gone to the Viet supermarkets, stores, hair salons, or nail salons and they’ll always ask me who I’m dating and what race they are, then make some comments like “oh, he’s not Vietnamese, why not? You need to find a Viet guy and keep the culture alive.” I disagree with that so much. I can still keep my culture alive still with whoever I’m with, it’s not passed down through blood, but through teachings.
Asian stereotypes are funny.
I think this is kind of a broad statement and you’ll see why, but my answer is yes and no. I have a lot to say about this. So asian stereotypes put on the asian group by non-asian are not funny at all. The typical asians are good at math, asians are bad drivers, asians have chinky eyes, asians eat dogs/cats etc. are just so outplayed, it’s not true for everyone. Stereotypes have a big influence in judging certain groups of people and most times they are negative. I think when I wasn’t up to par with some of those stereotypes, people I went to school with who were non-asians wouldn’t judge me differently, but they wouldn’t identify me as asian or downplay that I was asian. I heard a lot of “oh Sally, you’re not THAT asian” or “omg, you don’t like to watch anime or make boba? I’m more asian than you.” Which actually did hurt my feelings and made me feel a type of way, but I didn’t know how to correctly speak about it back in high school, so I would just agree with them. Now if it’s my asian friends and I talking about stereotypes within our different asian races, then they can be funny, but that’s because they aren’t so negative or downplaying their identities. Big emphasis on CAN BE FUNNY though.
I do want to point out that a lot of asian stereotypes are positive compared to other races and the stereotypes that are put on them.
Asian people have it easier than other minorities.
I would have to agree with that statement. I do think that asian people have it easier than other minorities even within the last few years and with covid happening. Yes, it’s very unfortunate and sad that covid has brought out more racism towards asians and it breaks my heart to see. Yes, we asians still have it harder than some minorities, but bigger picture we do have it easier. What asians are experiencing with covid, others have been experiencing for decades and on a more worst scale. Stereotypes on asians are also easier on asians, the “popular” stereotypes are majority positive. The reality of it is, asian minorities are more accepted in the United States with white people and I think it’s because of the history between the two and that asians have conformed with the American way. I don’t know how to really explain it, but I can see it or have experienced it personally. I do think Americans use Asians to their advantage sometimes to compare to other minorities or for other uses, when it’s good for them if that makes any sense.

Like I said earlier I do not represent a whole community or other people, but myself. I am up to having more in depth conversations and hearing other opinions, so feel free to comment or contact me. I want this to be a safe space of free discussion. I do not tolerate hate or racism though, so please don’t come around with that. Give me feedback on if I should do more post like this. Watch the video below and the others on their channel! Keep conversations going with the people around you.

SALLY ♡ T

BLACK LIVES MATTER: I stand with you.

** If there is any false or incorrect information in my post, please correct me and feel free to send any sources or links so I can further educate myself! Thank you.

I have spoken and voiced my stand on other social media platforms. Today I feel confident and comfortable enough to write about it where my characters are not limited. I don’t have a big platform, but I still have a voice that I WILL use to spread awareness with. I HEAR YOU, I SEE YOU, I RESPECT YOU, I STAND WITH YOU. I cannot represent or speak on behalf of any groups or communities, but I will raise awareness and defend those from racism. I will use my voice to try to educate anyone within the asian communities about the existing anti-black racism. Racism is still very present everywhere and it’s time to unlearn it and stand together. We are not against each other, it’s us against racism and injustice.

I have experienced little racism being Vietnamese and live in a very diverse area, so I don’t fully understand what it’s like for others, but from my experiences I can only imagine how horrific it can be. I can admit that I am privileged. I don’t feel a sense of pride saying that, knowing that people in my community and neighboring ones cannot say the same. It’s a huge problem that you would think would be fixed by now. It’s the year 2020 now, a change is past due.

I want to send my condolences to the families and friends who have lost someone to police brutality. Also to those who are racially profiled and wrongfully accused. For those who are reading this, I will add some links below that you can use to find information on how you can help and what you can do if you aren’t able to come out to any protest. There’s plenty that you can do from home.

SAY THIER NAMES SO THEIR JUSTICES ARE SERVED. SAY THEIR NAMES FOR THE GENERATIONS AFTER US, SO THEY ARE NOT FORGOTTEN. SAY THEIR NAMES SO THIS MOVEMENT IS NEVER FORGOTTEN AND SO WE NEVER TAKE A STEP BACKWARDS INTO RACISM.