As I’m entering this phase of my life, I can’t help but to feel a little lost. Even though I’m back to the environment that I grew up in, I’m not the same person. I don’t have the same goals, I’m not looking to pick up where I left off or behind. I want to say everything is the same as how I left it, but it’s not. Things have changed. I some what feel like maybe I don’t belong here or fit in as well as I did. With all that going on, some things do feel the same, but I don’t feel the same way about it. How do you go from a place that you only ever knew, leave for a little over a year, then come back and it almost feels like a new place to you?
Identity crisis? Feeling like an outsider? Did I grow out from this place that fast?
I want different things for myself and I came back to do that, but how really different are the things I want? Can I even get to those here? Where do I belong, where do I feel settled? A thought that comes across a lot lately is did I make the right move or did I just set myself back? I don’t know any of these answers and that’s something I have to try to be okay with. It all has me feeling lost. I thought I had it figured out and that what I saw was clear as day. The reality of it is that it’s not clear as day and it’s actually more confusing. I’m feeling lost.
I know it won’t be like this forever and I just have to let go of the control that I would like to have in my life and let things go and flow. I know things that are meant to be will find its way to me. I know. It’s just hard to keep that positive mindset all the time when I’m not feeling positive all the time. Things take time, but sometimes I feel like I don’t have patience to wait. Things will come when you stop looking for it, so I need to stop looking. I need to be okay with feeling lost for a bit.
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SALLY♡THINGS 