Tag: Spotify

I Still Fall For Your Words, How Weak of Me.

Sometimes I don’t think what I write is “blog worthy” and I’ll post it to another social platform instead or I’ll get inspired with my writings on those different social platforms. Slowly, but surely I’m sharing things to all platforms. This one was originally posted on TikTok a few months ago. Feel free to check out and follow both my personal and blog accounts. Come feel the feels ♡

June 11, 2023

I still fall for your words, how weak of me.

Maybe it’s the way we started, all we had was our words. Long distance challenges you in every way, so you fall in love with what stays consistent. I will always have this soft, loving spot for you and you know that too.

How weak of me.

Even now I still find myself falling for your words and the way they make me feel. The way you still make me feel.

How weak of me.

I’ve been finding myself fighting what feels so loving, caring and kind. Do I let myself feel it sometimes? Yes.

How weak of me.

What you tell me, I don’t doubt your emotions behind it. I know that deep down you actually feel that way, but it breaks my heart.

How weak of me.

I’m holding myself up and I’m pushing myself to move forward. I’m picking up my own pieces and I’m trying so hard to stay soft and still true to myself. I am creating a safe and supportive space for my feelings and emotions. I stop my own tears when I need too. I am learning to let go of us without having any hateful feelings. I am slowly accepting that the love between us was real. You did love me, it just wasn’t enough for forever. I’m healing myself in ways that seem impossible and all I can think of is

How weak of me.

@sallynohands

I still fall for your words, how weak of me. Maybe it’s the way we started, all we had was our words. Long distance challenges you in every way, so you fall in love with what stays consistent. I will always have this soft, loving spot for you and you know that too. How weak of me. Even now I still find myself falling for your words and the way they make me feel. The way you still make me feel. How weak of me. I’ve been finding myself fighting what feels so loving, caring and kind. Do I let myself feel it sometimes? Yes. How weak of me. What you tell me, I don’t doubt your emotions behind it. I know that deep down you actually feel that way, but it breaks my heart. How weak of me. I’m holding myself up and I’m pushing myself to move forward. I’m picking up my own pieces and I’m trying so hard to stay soft and still true to myself. I am creating a safe and supportive space for my feelings and emotions. I stop my own tears when I need too. I am learning to let go of us without having any hateful feelings. I am slowly accepting that the love between us was real. You did love me, it just wasn’t enough for forever. I’m healing myself in ways that seem impossible and all I can think of is How weak of me. #sallythings @SALLY ♡ THINGS #healingprocess #healingjourney #ventingthoughts #tiktokblogs #readthecaption #movingforwardishard

♬ LOVE ME IN CHAPTERS BY CHRISSI – CHRISSI

To Let It Go.

It isn’t one of those good days, I want to curl up in a ball and lay in bed all day. My brain really said “Hey Sally, fuck you. You’re not shit today <3”
Everything you’ve been working on disappears as if that work never happened. It doesn’t exist. It’s hard to feel that when you thought you’ve moved way past it. The doubt of what you thought you achieved just sits there and eats you away making it hard to see the growth.

Conversation between my brain and I through text. My brain today told me to be insecure and sad today like it's an okay thing. I'm not happy about it obviously, but I can't help it. Your brain and thoughts can destroy you.

This may be a raw one. I’ve tried to protect it from coming out so much that today I just can’t do it anymore. Something that I wanted to keep private for me to process ended up coming out in a fire anyways and I’ve been fighting to put it out this whole time. I’m tired of fighting for myself.

To let it go. It’s been such a challenge and something I still haven’t figured out yet. Sometimes when something so heartbreaking or traumatic happens to you, you start to believe that maybe you did deserve it. For whatever reason why I may think it, I know at the same time that I didn’t deserve it, but it’s easier to believe I did. It’s the “easier” option for me to understand what or why it happened even if it hurts. Someone who loves you, but hurts you in ways they or you would never imagine, try to make that make sense. It’s heartbreaking. Now put where I’m at now into that and then try to make sense of that. Sometimes if feels like I’m fighting demons out here and the demon is myself, actually my own thoughts vs how I feel. The two peacefully agree most time, but then you have days like this where they switch up and play both sides. It’s this, but that, it’s that, but this. Tugging me back and forth and back and forth. I just want to lay down and rest or drink. A drink would be nice. To let it all go would be nice.

Self defense mechanisms, thank you, but also you are my worst enemy. Thank you for trying to soften the next unknown, but it’s not helping me personally with healing. I can’t keep holding on to this thing, I don’t want too. I want to make my peace and I want to move on. Let me do that, let me let it go.

It All Comes Rushing Back.

Although would like to say this was part of the Drunk Thoughts series, it’s not. I actually sobered up from my drinking and just typing my feelings out at 4 AM. Here we are again, the heavy feeling. It all comes rushing back.

Just when things seem so great, it all comes rushing back. You can’t do anything about it, but to deal with it. That part I’m not so great with. How do you know you’re making progress? How do you know you’re getting through it instead of pushing it aside? Am I really putting my needs first?

I don’t doubt or second guess my decisions, but I do doubt where I should be or think I shouldn’t let shit bother me like it does. Why do I still get these nasty little reminders and why do they still hurt me just as much? Sometimes I get so far, just for a reminder to remind me that I actually am not. I actually haven’t even gone anywhere, like I’m just stuck in the cycle.

I go on with my day with a little bit of a heavy heart sometimes and I just push through, but what if one day I don’t have the strength for it? What can I do then? The last thing I want to do is let it consume my emotions and dwell. I’ve done that so many times and had that time already. You know, people carry a lot on their shoulders, they carry a lot on their backs. Not everyone is as happy as they seem. I hope my peace finds me, I really hope soon.

Be kind to others, be respectful, or just leave them alone. Leave things be and let it happen.

“But now I know you can’t change the past, way too young to know the reason why and it all comes rushing back, rushing back.”

SALLY ♡ T