Finding Yourself in a Familiar Place.

I sit here and find myself in a familiar place. A place where it feels embarrassing to admit that I’m back at again. A place where I have been trying to deny that I’m back in. A place where it breaks you before it makes you. A familiar place, a pretty vulnerable place. Healing alone.

Healing alone is an awful feeling and one of the hardest thing you’ll ever do. It will force you to sit with your grief and to feel it. A place I’m a little too familiar with. Healing alone is healing without using other people or things to fill a void inside of yourself, going out every weekend, healing without using distractions and doing anything to prevent yourself to sit in your grief and think about it. It’s an awful feeling. A place I’m a little too familiar with.

While I spend my time in this familiar place, I’ll give myself the grace that I need. I’ll sit with the grief once again and I’ll still look for all the happiness and love that I gained before the last. I’ll sit here wishing that all my love given is still making someone feel loved. That the right people know that I will always see them as they are and for who they are. The love I gave is for them to keep and theirs, for me. Saying goodbye never gets any easier and finding yourself in this familiar place doesn’t get easier either. I guess I’m back at the first steps again.

For however long it takes for me here, I welcome anyone else that finds their way in this familiar place. I’ll sit here and heal alone – with you.