Drunk Thoughts: If We Went Back To The Beginning.

If we went back to the beginning, who would we be? If we could go back to the beginning, who would we make ourselves be again? It’s been awhile, but I’m here. Drunk sally. Whoo. Who would you make yourself be? God I feel numb.

Numb in a good way. Numb as in it’s the best for me. Anyways, if you could go back to the beginning what would you do or tell yourself? Would you go through all the hell again and change it or would you do it differently? Who would you make yourself be? Where would things go? Would you change things?

I hurt, you hurt we all hurt. We go through hell. Would you change it? I would go back for sure and hope that I see things differently than I would have. See things as how they really were. I know it would have been heartbreaking, but better the truth than what as I saw it as with my rose colored glasses, I hate how much I try to romanticize life. Sometimes I hate how much I try to look for the good in things. Just see the bad and let it be how it really is. Stop trying to look at the good. See things as they really are. That’s life, face it. My faults are also my good traits. Why does life do that to us? Make the bad things also good, you know how confusing that shit is? How it fucks with your inner peace so much? If I could go back to the beginning what would I wish, how would things go, where would I be? I don’t actually know, I never got to think or put myself first to even think that way and maybe that’s my problem.

I try to be happy, but people don’t want me to be. Is it karma? Is it what I deserve or are people just fucking miserable with their own fucking lives? When I finally do right to myself because I owe myself that much. The saying “god gives his toughest battle to his strongest soldiers” I use to be so inspire by that shit back then, but now.. no not now, stop making me a solider, I’ve had enough for the time being. I’ve been thrown so many obstacles since a young age. Pick someone else I want a break. Just let me breathe. I want to go back to the beginning. drunk sally out.